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Unfortunately, another part of me is also obvious in its needs, and I’m only wearing loose sweats. I angle away, slightly separating our bodies, trying to keep her from noticing how hard I am. She either doesn’t notice or doesn’t care, because she closes the millimeter of space instantly.
I grit my teeth, trying to calm the raging thoughts in my head. I want Callie so bad, more than I’ve ever wanted anything. It’s more than taking her to bed, I want all of it. I want every laugh, every smile. I want her to stay here with me.
Like a glutton for punishment, I let my brain entertain those thoughts as I stand here running my fingers down her hair. I’d turn the spare room into an office, her office. Hell, I’d make every part of this house different if it pleased her. I’d put those damn pictures up on the mantle in any way that she wanted. Maybe then this house would actually feel like a home. I sigh, releasing her slowly from our embrace. Those things won’t ever happen.
“Are you okay?” I ask, not knowing what else to say.
“I’m okay.” She gives me a fake reassuring smile. “I mean, a little worried I might get taken out by a crooked Sheriff and, or, his two cronies.” She laughs humorously, “But other than that. Totally fine.”
“I’m not going to let that happen,” I promise her, worried that the pieces I’ve helped her meld back together the last 24 hours might start cracking again. She just nods her head in response, unable to give me anything else.
“Come on, you need some sleep.” I usher her towards my room without any objection after subtly tucking away my obvious attraction to her.
She goes into the bathroom, giving me a chance to put on a shirt and some briefs under my sweats, needing the extra barriers to keep me from doing something rash. When I step out of my closet she’s sitting on the bed, staring off into nothing, like she did last night. Zoning out, lost in her own thoughts, I’m not sure what to do.
Thinking maybe she needs room to process her thoughts, I start towards the hallway, but almost to the door, I hear my name. “Nathan…”
She spoke so faintly, I almost missed it. I turn towards her, and my heart rips in two. She looks so defeated, her shoulders are slumped with the weight of the world resting on them. I can see it on her face that it won’t take much to break the dam that she’s had up, she’s starting to crumble right before me.
Tired of second-guessing myself, I flip off the light and crawl into bed next to her. Unlike this morning, I pull back the blankets, not intending to leave any space between us. Laying flat on my back, I raise my arm, indicating for her to tuck her body into mine.
It’s probably a bad idea, but I don’t care, she’s been through too much. She needs comfort, she needs me. And I intend to provide just that, even if it leaves me aching for more. She nestles into my side immediately, laying her head on my chest. Now that I have a shirt on, I miss the feeling of her cheek on my skin, but this will do. I feel her body shake, exhaling all of her pent-up anxiety, relaxing into my embrace.
“Thank you,” she whispers against my sternum. I kiss the top of her head in response.
I’m whipped. This woman is going to ruin all other relationships for me and we aren’t even in one. How will I move on from this when I feel so much for her already?
I tighten my arms around her. “Any time.”
Damn, and do I mean it. She has me, whenever she needs me, I’m at her mercy. I don’t say that out loud though, afraid I’ll scare her off. The intensity of my feelings is even scaring me.
I’ve had girlfriends, and flings that weren’t even serious enough for goodbyes. Nothing compared to what I’m experiencing right now. How is that even possible in such a short amount of time?
When I notice her breathing has slowed, and her fingers twitch slightly where they rest on my chest, I sigh. Maybe my concern with her well-being is clouding my judgment. I’ve never felt responsible for a woman before, never so invested in keeping someone safe.
My team depended on me, sure, but that was different. They were all guys that made the commitment to enlist, they knew the dangers they signed up for. I’d die for any one of them, and I know they’d do the same for me, but it’s not the same. Callie is different. I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if something happened to her.
I contemplate staying awake, in case the Sheriff decides to grow some steel in his spine and come back. The lull of Callie’s breathing is too much though, and I feel my eyelids getting heavy. I could fight it, or even try to get up now that she’s asleep, but I don’t have any real desire to. The house is locked up. My gun is on the nightstand. I learned how to sleep with one eye open a long time ago, so I let myself drift, content holding onto Callie for as long as she’ll let me.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Callie
Thump… Thump… Thump.
What the hell is that? My head keeps knocking against something. Thump… Thump… Thump… Why won’t it stop? I use all my strength to turn my head, my neck feeling stiff as a board. I blink the blurriness out of my vision, trying to focus on what’s in front of me. I squeeze my eyes shut, willing them to cooperate. When I finally open them, I’m staring directly into Tony’s grimy face, in the back of their van.
“AHHHHHHRRGG!” I try to scream but it’s muffled by something. Duct tape. They put duct tape on my mouth this time. No, no, NO! This can’t be happening. Where’s Nathan? Do they have him too? I lash my head back and forth trying to get rid of the sight in front of me. I can’t tell where I am, we’re surrounded by darkness.
“Shh, shh, shh, don’t cry little girl, I’ve been looking for you,” Tony leers. All I can do is buck and roll, trying with all of my might to get away. My muffled cries are all I hear before my world goes black.
Suddenly, I’m thrust into the river, blackened by the night sky -soaked up to my thighs in the biting, icy water. I look behind me and see Bub standing on the river bank illuminated by the moonlight, crouched on all fours like a wild animal.
I turn to run, but the current is too strong, I’m pumping my legs but I’m getting nowhere. Finally, I see Nathan up ahead of me. Yelling for me, beckoning me to follow him.
“I’M TRYING!” I scream, tears pouring down my face, soaked from the river.
I keep running even though I don’t feel like I’m making any progress, the river bed thick with mud. Chancing a glance over my shoulder, I barely have time to register the gnarly-looking man about to pounce on me. Bub is coming at me full force, jaws stretched open inhumanly, saliva dripping from his teeth. I scream at the sight, falling forward from the impact of him tackling me.
