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And when I went over to his house on Monday night, he spent half an hour explaining his extensive security system, and gave me full access in case I ever needed it.
But Ben is another reason why I’m scared. He’s been so wonderful, but it’s early in our relationship. What if he decides this is too much for him? Or that it’s too dangerous for Laila? Not that I’d blame him. This is supposed to be the fun, easy part of dating. The honeymoon phase. We’re not supposed to jump straight into the stressful part right away.
Ugh. I finally meet the perfect guy, and then all this happens.
Sighing, I look down at the stack of purchase orders I’ve been ignoring for the past fifteen minutes. Fifteen minutes that I’ve been hiding in my office feeling sorry for myself and getting exactly zero work done.
Snap out of it, I silently reprimand myself. It could be so much worse. I’m safe. I have Ben. And Blade and Arrow is helping me.
Forcing myself to focus, I run through two orders, double-checking the matching packing slips to make sure we received all the books before approving them. My mind keeps trying to wander, darting to lingering unpleasant thoughts before I can reel it back in.
When my phone buzzes, I grab it quickly, glad for the distraction. As Ben’s name appears on the screen, my smile is genuine.
Are you ready to go? I can be there in ten minutes.
My heart lifts, and I tap out a response.
Yes. Definitely ready to go. I’ll be waiting. ??
While my day officially ends at five, most days I linger for another fifteen or twenty minutes, finishing up paperwork or helping one more child find a book. But today? I’m more than ready to leave.
My phone pings with another text.
Wait inside. I’ll come in to get you. Can’t wait to see you.
I’m already walking out of my office as I reply.
Can’t wait!
After a brief conversation with Reagan, who’s working the evening shift tonight, I head to the entrance of the library, positioning myself by the glass doors so I can see Ben when he gets here.
A few people come through the doors, some parents looking for a book to read before bedtime, others stopping by on their way home from work. Most of them I know, either by face or name, and I give each person a friendly wave or hello. It’s not even forced, now that I know I’m going to be seeing Ben shortly.
Then a face I haven’t seen in years walks up the stone steps and comes through the door.
She locks eyes with me, her expression jolting with shock.
My chest goes tight as memories come rushing back.
Not recent memories. But ones I’d tried to lock away years ago.
“Thea?” She approaches me cautiously, her familiar voice bringing everything back. Eyes wide, her brows arched up in surprise, she says, “I didn’t know you were living here.”
“Jess.” I can do this. It’s been over a decade. “How are you?”
“I’m okay.” As she moves, her long hair shifts away from her face, exposing the hash marks of scars along her neck and jaw. Even without looking carefully, I can tell they’re much better than the last time I saw her. Back then—fifteen years ago, it’s hard to believe—the scars were dark and angry and violent.
Brushing her hair back over her cheek, she continues quietly, “I just moved back last month. But I haven’t been out much. So I didn’t realize you had moved back, too.”
There’s something in her light brown eyes, a vulnerability that I don’t remember ever being there before. And it makes my defenses weaken. “I moved back three years ago, after I was hired for a job here.”
“At the library?” Jess gives me a tiny smile. “You always loved reading. It makes sense.”
“Yeah.” Over her shoulder, I see Ben’s SUV pull up outside. “I’m one of the librarians here. What are you doing now?”
“Oh, I’m just a lab tech. At the medical center in town.” She pauses. “So. Are your parents still living here?”
“No.” My throat thickens, and my voice gets tight. “My mom passed away when I was in college. And my dad moved to Florida shortly after. Too hard to stay in the house with the memories…”
