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Since Laila is staying at her grandmother’s—with everything going on, Ben thought it would be easier for her to just spend the night—Cole and Leo are going to come here. So if my headache gets worse, or I start feeling nauseous or dizzy, I’ll leave the meeting right away.
What I haven’t told Ben is I’m already nauseous, but it’s not from my concussion. It’s from the anxious flutters in my stomach, and a sickening sense of foreboding.
I could push some of the terrible thoughts away while I was at the hospital. I could silence the little voice in my head that kept whispering, it’s all my fault.
And once we got back to Ben’s, he spent the next two hours coddling me—giving me a bath, carefully combing my hair without messing up any curls, making me food and getting me settled on the couch and basically taking care of every possible need. So it was hard to concentrate on anything else.
But now, as we wait for Cole and Leo to arrive, I feel sick.
I keep casting about for some other explanation for how I ended up locked in a storage closet while the library was on fire. An explanation that doesn’t involve someone trying to kill me.
“Thea, hun, are you sure you’re feeling up to this?” Ben strokes my cheek, gazing at me with the same worried expression he’s had all day. “I know you think I was being overprotective, and I probably was, but I really don’t want you to make yourself worse.”
Despite our agreement, I think Ben is about three seconds from sweeping me into his arms and carrying me into the bedroom. And not in the sexy firefighter slash paramedic way, which I admitted was a fantasy of mine the other night.
A fantasy I won’t be getting to try for a while now, thanks to this stupid concussion.
“I’m just nervous.” Leaning into his side, I pat his thigh reassuringly. “My head feels the same. Headache, a little dizzy, and the lights still bother me. But it’s not getting worse. I promise.”
Pain washes across his face. “I’m sorry, Thea. I wish—” His mouth snaps shut.
I think I know what he was about to say, because it’s a repeat of something from earlier. When we were at the hospital and the emergency room doctor was trying to determine how long I was out, Ben groaned, “If I had only come ten minutes sooner. You never would have been hurt.”
Or he could have been hurt along with me, but I didn’t say that.
“I’m okay, Ben. Just some nerves.” I hate seeing him like this. Taking on blame that definitely isn’t his.
If it weren’t for me, he’d have his daughter here. He wouldn’t be feeling so worried and guilty. And he wouldn’t have run into a burning building, which, although I’m so incredibly thankful to him, it scares the crap out of me, too.
And now…
Before my thoughts can continue their depressing downward spiral, Ben’s phone chimes, letting us know that Cole and Leo are here.
From my vantage point on the couch, I watch Ben greet the other men, complete with chin lifts and this sort of manly handshake-shoulder-clapping thing. I guess it’s their version of a hug?
Moments later, Ben rejoins me on the couch, while Cole and Leo take the one adjacent to ours. Cole leans forward and rests his elbows on his knees. “How are you doing, Thea?”
“I’m okay.” I smile at him, though it feels like a grimace. My manners kick in. “Do you want something to drink? Can I get you anything?”
Ben gives me a stern look. “You’re supposed to be resting, remember?” He shifts his gaze to Cole. “I should have asked. Do you want anything?”
Cole dips his chin at him, a small smile pulling at his lips. “I’m good.”
Leo catches my gaze, and says in his low, rumbly voice, “I’m sorry you were hurt.” And every time I think I’m used to how big he is, he surprises me all over again. But even though he looks intimidating, his personality is the complete opposite.
“Georgia is making you a blanket,” he adds, his features softening with affection as he mentions his fiancée. “It should be done in the next day or so. She said when she was recovering from a concussion, having a cozy blanket to lie with really helped.”
“That’s so nice of her.” I feel unexpectedly teary. “She doesn’t have to do that, but… I’d love it.”
“Good.” Leo smiles at me, and everything feels a little less crummy. Until he glances at Cole, and both their expressions sober.
“We should get to it,” Cole starts. “I know Ben wants to keep this as quick as possible.”
Ben does, does he? I raise my eyebrows at him. Two dull spots of red appear on his cheeks, and he mutters defensively, “I thought you’d want it to be fast, too.”
In all honesty, I’d be happy if this meeting was already over, so I let it go. “You’re right,” I say quietly, and thread my fingers through his.
“So I spoke with the police,” Cole says. “And they have some preliminary findings from the fire investigator. They believe the fire was started in the hallway where your office is, Thea. And accelerant was definitely used. It wasn’t an accident.”
