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But it’s my best friend, and if I can’t talk to Ari, who can I talk to? So I type out the unvarnished truth.
I love him. SO much. Every time I think he can’t be more amazing, he proves me wrong. I never thought I could feel like this. Like I want to be with Ben forever.
My throat gets tight, my nose prickling just to think about it.
I glance over at Laila and she looks so cute, sitting cross-legged just like me, her expression intent on the book she’s reading. She has a stuffed animal sitting next to her, her favorite bunny, the one she worriedly asked me about the other day.
“Thea.” Her little face was pinched with worry. “Since I’m going to be in third grade next week, does that mean I’m too old to bring Buttons to school with me? Usually she stays in my bag, but I like to know she’s there.”
“Oh, honey.” I hugged her. “You can bring Buttons to school. You’re not too old.”
It’s not just Ben that I love. It’s Laila, too.
I take a deep breath and type the rest of it.
I love both of them. Ben and Laila. I want to keep living with them and be a family one day. Is that crazy? It hasn’t been that long. But…
Three dots flash for a second before Ari replies.
It’s not crazy! When you know… You and Ben are perfect together. And you would be such a great mom to Laila. There’s no timeline for love. It happens whenever it’s supposed to.
Somehow, Ari always has the right words to reassure me. Smiling, I send back a message.
Thanks! That makes me feel better. You’re the best friend I could ask for. ??
Before Ari can respond, the front door to the apartment opens, and Ben walks inside. He has a strange look on his face, not quite frowning, but definitely not happy either.
“Thea,” he says in a careful tone, his voice not giving anything away. “We need to talk.”
Even half an hour later, I still can’t believe it.
I knew she was a suspect. But a stubborn part of my brain refused to accept it. Refused to believe that someone I know—have known since I was a teenager—could hate me this much.
Enough to try to kill me not just once, but twice.
We’re in the conference room, the glossy table still strewn with laptops and piles of paper and empty mugs of coffee. Ben is sitting next to me, his hand warm and comforting around my chilled one. Leo and Cole are seated across the table, both of them watching me with concerned expressions.
I guess I can’t blame them, since I haven’t said a word since we all sat down. But I’m still trying to wrap my mind around it.
“Thea?” Ben’s voice is gentle, and his eyes are a soft, deep green. “Are you okay? If you’re not ready—”
“It’s okay,” Cole adds. “We understand it can be a lot to take in. If you don’t want the details right now…”
But I do. I want to know everything. I just can’t seem to make myself say it. How do I ask them to tell me about the woman who tried to kill me? Ask them why, though I think I have a pretty good idea.
“Is Laila going to be alright?” I cling to something solid. My concern for Laila. She looked more than a little confused and worried when Maya showed up to watch her, asking, “Dad. Is Thea okay? She looks sick.”
Ben had just whispered his news to me in the kitchen, and I was trying not to completely lose it. So I probably did look like I was about to throw up. But I feel bad for worrying Laila.
He squeezes my hand. “Laila is fine. She and Maya are going to make cookies.”
“But—” Guilt swamps me. “I don’t want her to worry. Or be scared. I should have talked to her before we left.”
“Sweetheart, she’s okay. Trust me.” Now that he has my attention, Ben holds my gaze. “If you need more time…”
“No.” It’s a little sharper than I intended, but my nerves are strung tight. I take a few deep breaths, forcing myself to steady.
I can do this. The scary part is over. Now it’s just hearing the truth.
