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“Right. Like… realizing we enjoy each other so much we take things to the next level and sleep together? Got it. We’ll avoid that.”
“I didn’t mean that.”
“No?” I ask, voice completely sweet and innocent. “Then what is this mysterious next step we’re trying so hard to avoid, Mr. Prince?”
“Commitment,” he says. “We’ll have our fun. But nobody needs to go and start making plans for the future. That’s when things get too complicated. This thing between us has an expiration date. I just need us both to remember that.”
“Okay,” I say, even though a little voice in my brain is saying we’ll see about that. I yawn. His arm and his smell are so comforting and warm. Maybe I am a little sleepy. I scoot closer to him and something hard presses into my stomach. I look up suddenly, laughing. “Is that–”
“Don’t,” he warns.
I laugh harder. “Jesse, nobody is going to hand out purple hearts in the morning for those who died of blue balls in the night. Let me help you.”
“You don’t have to.”
I press my fingertip to his chin, gently forcing his face down so he has to look at me. “I know I don’t. I want to. Now shut up.”
I smile, awkwardly scoot down until my head is beneath the covers, and then I tug down his pajamas.
27
JESSE
I feel like some kind of middle school kid sneaking my way around rules my parents have set. Andi and I are both completely game to sleep together, but somehow, everything except fucking her feels safe. Last night, she sucked me off and holy shit. It’s morning and I’m not sure I slept more than an hour or two. I kept replaying the way her soft lips felt on me–the warmth of her mouth sliding up and down my length and the sensations of her quiet moans vibrating through my skin.
The best part was before it even started–the moment she locked eyes with me and told me it was what she wanted to do. She’s so damn sexy without even trying.
Her small hands are resting on my chest and stomach. I drink in the moment, studying the way the morning light streaming in the high windows makes her black hair look almost blue. I run my fingertip down the pale skin of her cheek, tracing the fullness of her lips and studying the gentle, upward curve of her nose.
Friends with benefits. The words drum in my head like some kind of tribal warning signal.
I remove my hands from her and thread them behind my head. I try to stare at the ceiling, but my gaze keeps drifting back to her. I’m not sure I ever want her to wake up, but I also feel the impending danger of the guys realizing we’re in here together.
Together.
That’s a dangerous word. We are together, in a way. But I’m skirting around the meanings of that word, just like I’m trying to dance on the thin line between sex and foreplay.
But that’s what this whole thing is, isn’t it? It’s like the foreplay that comes before a relationship, but we’re trying to promise ourselves it will stop there–that neither of us will succumb to the temptation to finish the act. To dive into the treacherous abyss that is commitment. Endless foreplay without emotional release. If that doesn’t sound like a blueprint for disaster, I don’t know what does.
I manage to slide out from under her and get out of bed before she groans and blinks her eyes open. “Hey,” she says, voice sleepy and sexy.
“We should try not to make it obvious.”
“Mhm.” She stretches her arms overhead, her shirt lifting to reveal the vertical line of her belly button and smooth skin. It takes all of my self control not to crawl back into bed and rip those jeans off of her so I can plunge my face between her legs. She has a body that deserves to be worshipped. Moans that are sweeter than any fucking music on Earth.
She’s utterly addicting, and I’ve got to find a way to leave this guest house without taking so much as one more kiss. That’s the only way I’ll survive this.
Moderation.
Control.
Resistance.
I’ll need all of it if I’m going to stick to the plan. “Do you need to pee?”
She grins. “A little. Are you going to help me?”
I nod. “Come on.” I help her stand. She tests out her ankle and says it’s a little better, but still tender. I help her into the bathroom and sit her down on the toilet with her pants still on. “I’ll let you take it from here.”
