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“Wow,” Jesse says, looking between me and Nolan. “You two are trying so hard not to look at each other. If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you hooked up.”
Paisley is mid-sip on a glass of water. She sucks in a sharp breath, choking and coughing as she covers her mouth. “Sorry,” she manages.
Jake is cocking his head now, looking between us. “He’s right. What did you guys do?”
“Nothing,” I say, beyond irritated that Jesse and Jake are reading the situation so easily.
Nolan is showing no emotion.
“Maybe we shouldn’t make it more awkward for them than it already is,” Liam suggests.
Jake looks serious as he studies Nolan. “Or maybe our teammate could be open with us for a change.”
Nolan returns his attention with pure, frosty annoyance.
Jake chuckles. “You’ve already got one foot out the door with us. Don’t you, Nolan?”
“I’m all in,” Nolan says. “I’ll be on the ice. What I do with my personal time doesn’t really matter.”
“It matters if it’s distracting you,” Jake says.
“You think I haven’t played through distraction?” Emotion finally touches Nolan’s voice. “You want to know why I’ve been so pissed? Is that it? You want me to tell you that my mom got back with my shitty dad and cut me out of her life two years ago? Or that Mia broke things off with me a few days after I found out? Or that I’m sick of feeling like I don’t know how to be happy, because everything I try just…” He stands suddenly, chair scraping and nearly tipping over.
Nolan kicks open the double doors of the bed and breakfast, stepping outside to leave us all sitting there in stunned silence. My stomach feels like it’s on the floor after hearing his admission.
“Shit,” Jake says. “Did any of you know?”
I wipe at my eyes. I knew a little about his past. He told me his dad wasn’t good to them. At some point, Nolan’s dad left the family and Nolan had to step up at a young age to be the man of the house for his mom’s sake. It sounded like they were incredibly close. It also seemed like what his father did was still an open wound for him.
The idea of his mom going back to his dad and cutting him out of her life after everything he did for her is absolutely heartbreaking. “If I knew…” I say, voice thick with emotion.
“Damn,” Liam says. He works his lips to the side and folds his arms. “Why didn’t he tell us?”
Jesse is staring down at his cup as he rocks it in a circular motion, eyes distant. “Nolan was always the guy trying to dissolve tension for us. The peacemaker. A guy like that? He’s probably not going to want to weigh us down with his own drama.”
“Dumbass,” Jake sighs, but he doesn’t sound entirely mad. Actually, I’m not sure if he’s talking about Nolan or himself. “He thinks we’re going to be able to help him if he bottles shit up?”
“Yeah,” I say, voice dry. “Because none of you macho hockey guys ever bottle things up and hide your feelings?”
The guys all stare at their Bingo cards.
“If anybody wants to vent,” Paisley says. “I’ll listen without judgment.”
Liam grins. “I can vent. I made fun of the guys for thinking a golden thong was good luck. Then I wore it for the first time last season and had the best game of my career.”
Paisley’s cheeks go bright red. “Oh. Okay.”
“My turn,” Jake says. “I think Jesse’s sister is kind of hot.”
Jesse sits upright, glaring. “Not funny.”
Jake shrugs. “You married my sister. Pretty sure you gave up your right to cockblock me with yours.”
“Now it’s my turn, then,” Jesse says. “When you caught me and Andi on the vibrating waterbed two years ago, I had just gotten an eyefull of her boobs. And I liked it.”
Jake and Jesse both glare at each other, then they smile.
I’m barely listening. My own thoughts are bouncing between going after Nolan and giving him space. After a few seconds, I stand suddenly and rush outside to find him.
