AllFreeNovel
Share Us
Paisley tastes it and taps her chin in thought. “Or maybe we could add less raspberry. Reduce it further, but add some water. See if the sweetness from the reduction tastes better than sweetness from the raspberries?”
Nolan nods. “Good idea. Let’s try it.”
We all move into motion. It’s a familiar dance, by now. Edgar doesn’t come much, but that’s because he’s busy with Grams. The two of them spend a concerning amount of time together. I guess it has saved me from Grams continuing her matchmaking efforts with Nolan, but I don’t love the images it puts in my mind, either.
We’re wrapping up about a half hour later, all in agreement that we need another session tomorrow to finalize the recipe.
Zander and Paisley head out, waving their goodbyes to us.
Nolan comes toward me with a look in his eyes I recognize. He’s wearing his black chef’s coat and pants. His sandy blonde hair is pushed back from his face and the light white slash of his scar cuts across his full lips. He’s perfect, and he’s lifting a hand to touch my cheek like he’s about to kiss me.
“Hold on,” I say.
He stops, frowning and then stepping back. “Everything okay?”
“You guys all leave in two days,” I say.
His jaw ticks. “We do.”
My heart is already pounding. I had no idea I was about to have this conversation, but my mouth started moving before my brain could put on the brakes. “I wanted to make sure we were on the same page,” I say slowly. I don’t know exactly what I’m trying to say or hoping to get across. I just know I feel weird about what’s coming, and I don’t like the idea of not talking about it before he leaves.
“Alright. What page do you want us to be on?” he asks.
There’s a coldness to his words. If I was going to say more, his tone stops me from opening up. I look down, shaking my head a little. “Nevermind,” I say. “Let’s just fuck. That’s what you want, right?”
He reels back at that. It’s obvious I’m upset by my tone. “I want it if we both want it. You know that, Mia.”
I sigh and melt into him, wrapping my arms around him. He seems confused, but hugs me back.
“I’m going to miss you,” I admit. “Am I allowed to say that? Or is that violating our agreement?” There’s a bitter bite to my words, but I don’t care. I’m pissed at myself for letting things happen this way.
He rubs a slow circle on my back, but there’s a stiffness to his body. I’ve said something wrong. “I”ll miss you too,” he says a little too robotically. “But we both knew how this ended. We knew it the whole time.”
“I know,” I say. I blink and a tear rolls down my cheek. “But it’s okay for it to hurt.”
Nolan swallows hard. “This is the only way it could be for us, Mia. It’s the only way.”
I hesitate. I could argue. I could try to convince him. But I just nod my head, fighting back more tears. “Yeah, I know,” I whisper.
29
NOLAN
“I’m gonna catch a flight to Frosty Harbor this weekend,” Jesse says. He has to raise his voice over the commotion in the bar. It’s some place across the street from the arena. About an hour ago, we just cleared the first round of the playoffs. We won the seven game series with four straight wins, shutting out our opponents.
It feels good, and we’re all in high spirits.
“I may come with you,” Jake says. “I haven’t seen Andi in a little while. I bet she’s huge by now.”
I watch him suspiciously. “Yeah?” I ask. “You sure it’s not Caroline you want to see?”
He shoots me a dirty look. “You’re one to talk. I bet you’re going to head back, too. Maybe you and Mia will disappear as soon as nobody’s looking?”
I clench my jaw. It has been several months since the offseason when I opened Taste. Several months since I was seeing Mia every day and getting her all to myself almost as often as I wanted. It was a whole regular season since we had that conversation at Taste a couple nights before I left.
Things changed after that, but not in any way I can put my finger on. I haven’t been back to the restaurant as much as I hoped during the season. But when I do manage a flight back or a drive to Frosty Harbor, I find a chance to slip away with Mia, just like Jake is saying. Only now, we hardly even talk when we’re not fucking. There’s a giant gulf that opened up between us, and neither of us seem to know how to close it.
Still, I didn’t think the fact that we were still sleeping together was so obvious.
