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He smirks, but stays silent as I lower my finger.
“I’m ready to trust you. I’m ready to give it a try, if that’s what you want.”
Nolan cups my face gently, tenderly. He lowers his lips to mine and kisses me softly. It feels familiar and new all at once. I close my eyes, losing myself in the kiss and his touch. I’m smiling and maybe even crying a little, but I don’t care. I let him guide me to the couch and I let him pull my shirt over my head.
I’m unzipping his pants when our eyes meet between kisses. I smile self-consciously. “Do I still get to see what you were planning? After the cup?”
“You do,” he says. “But you have to wait for it.”
“Are you going to be distracted for your match if we do this?”
Nolan’s expression darkens. “When I’m on the ice, all I’ve been thinking about is you. Wanting you. Missing you. Regretting letting you slip away. All I’ve been wanting is this. Right here. This,” he says again, softly putting his palm to my cheek and emphasizing his point with a tender kiss. “You,” he whispers, urging my legs apart and kissing his way down my neck .
“Okay,” I say. “I kind of told you a lot just then, though. I want to do this. But I want to know what you think about it all.”
He looks into my eyes, and I feel all the answers staring back at me. “I’m going to help our guys win the cup. And then I’m going to show you how I feel. But you have to wait for it. Can you do that?”
“Maybe,” I say.
“You’re going to have to try.” He presses a thumb to my lip, smiling down at me. Then his look grows hotter as he presses himself against me. “How’d you pull this off, by the way? The double booking.”
“I asked Caroline for help. She asked Jesse. Apparently, Caroline and Grams conspired to double book us back in Frosty Harbor the first time. She was happy to try it again.” I smile crookedly. “Some friends and family, huh?”
“I’m not complaining,” he says.
“If you’re done asking questions,” I say, eyes trailing down his stomach and below his waist. “I’ve missed this. I’ve missed it way more than I want to admit.”
“That makes two of us.” Nolan pulls his shirt over his head, then cups my face and kisses me deep and hard.
39
NOLAN
I’m showered, cleaned up, and dressed after the game and I still can’t quite wrap my head around it. We actually did it. We won the Stanley Cup.
There’s a kind of confusing sense of anti-climax inside me, though. All my life, I’ve been building this moment up as some kind of purpose for my existence. I’ve spent so many hours and so much effort working toward this singular point. And now it happened. Now it’s over.
But I don’t think I would go back and change things, even if I could. Some part of me did need to prove I could do it. Even if I doubt my dad even watches or pays attention to my career at this point, I knew I needed to do it. For myself, more than him. Because if I took up hockey to impress a man who walked away from his family and ultimately failed to succeed? That would be a victory for him.
Instead, I made it my own victory. I made it mine and mine alone. But now the compulsion to keep pushing feels gone, and that absence is like a massive weight off my shoulders.
So I’m smiling as I start making my way out of the building, and not entirely because we just won the cup. I’m smiling because I know what’s coming, and for the first time, I’m completely convinced I’m doing the right thing.
“Hey,” Jesse says, catching me outside the locker room. He’s got his daughter under one arm. I’m not sure how Andi managed to sneak back here and deliver her to him, but I’m also not surprised. “I only doubted you this much.” He lifts two fingers, holding them so close they’re almost touching.
I grin. “It helps when you guys score so many points. I thought I may have screwed us when I gave up that third goal.”
“Nah,” Jesse says. “We got you, man. Always.” He gives me a genuine smile, grips my shoulder, and then leans close. “And I was happy to see it looks like you and Mia are getting on well again.”
I’m about to reflexively tell him we’re not, but I bite my tongue. I can see from his face that he’s not asking or prying. He’s just stating a simple fact. An obvious observation.
I let myself smile a little as I lift my index finger in front of Amelia. Her eyes go wide and she grips it, then she gives it a savage little shake. I laugh. “She’s still getting stronger.”
“Damn right,” Jesse agrees. “I’m thinking she could be a weightlifter. Or maybe a lawyer. I haven’t decided yet.”
“Pretty sure she’s going to decide that one on her own,” I say.
He shrugs. “I gotta know what lessons to pay for.” There’s a brief pause, then he gives me a nod. “Seriously though. I’m really happy for you. I’ve been rooting for you two the whole time.”
