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Fourteen
Cheri
The plus sign on the first pregnancy test was faintly visible if I squinted just right. Not what I’d consider a definitive answer even though the information sheet said that the darkness of the vertical line doesn’t matter.
But two days later, in a torrential downpour, I grab another test on my way home from work. Should I take a hint from the universe that a storm is unleashing in my life?
The run into and out of the store is enough to leave me drenched, reminding me of the day I arrived at the island resort. If not for me trying to dry my clothes, Stonewall wouldn’t have had the chance to steal my panties. What irony that he stopped there.
At home, I strip out of my wet clothes, toss them on the bathroom counter, and take the test stick out of the package. I stare at my flat, naked belly, finding it hard to believe that it likely contains a more permanent storm than the one outside.
Minutes after peeing on the stick, I’m staring at the bright and clear plus sign, no squinting required, and I long for the security offered by Stonewall’s arms. If I’m honest, I’m thrilled that he finally decided to touch me. Possibly a precursor to admitting feelings? I’m not so thrilled that he did it in the middle of my bout, and in front of everybody.
My phone buzzes. The guys are probably mad that I ditched them. I’ll own what a dick move that was, but they didn’t leave me any choice, showing up where they weren’t invited, and Stonewall nearly causing a scene. I toss the stick in the trash and check the text message.
Beatrix:At the hospital. Avery’s in labor.
What a week. Stonewall finally cracks. I confirm the pregnancy. Avery’s having her baby. Shit’s getting real.
I dry off and get dressed, finding it humorous that I’ll probably end up drenched again, but I want to be there for her. I also put on my lucky panties, just in case she needs a little extra help.
As I get ready, I can’t help but think about my own pregnancy. How difficult will it be to keep that situation from getting weird since the baby daddy is also one of my stepbrothers? I won’t let anyone pressure me or Commando or Taz into having a relationship just because of the baby. Nobody’s getting trapped.
If they’re not interested, I can do the single-mom thing with Avery. It’s supposed to be a happy thought but it’s tinged with sadness. Does that mean I want a relationship with the dad?
Since things are getting real, I have to be real with myself. As I drive to the hospital, I consider that I wouldn’t have had unprotected sex with them if they hadn’t sparked something in me. It’s too elusive to explain, but I feel something more thanbrotherly love for them. I’m just not sure it’s aneternitylevel of more.
I love this baby so much already. Avery’s dedication to getting her life in order and avoiding her ex makes sense now. The mama bear instinct kicks in quickly.
I get to the hospital and Avery’s brothers are in the waiting room, even more wet than me. They look like they played in the rain. Mammoth says, “You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”
“Not exactly.”
He looks confused by my non-committal answer. Not a ghost, just a maternity ward—a little close to home for me suddenly. One of the other brothers turns his attention to his phone.
I clarify, “No ghosts, just a lot on my mind.”
“Anything we can help you with?” Mammoth is the nicest guy, but I’m not about to share that one of his fellow MC members is a baby daddy and doesn’t know it.
I shake my head. “Can I go see Avery?”
He nods. “She’ll be happy to see you.”
I find Avery’s room and Beatrix is on the phone. “I won’t let her go anywhere.”
Avery swats Beatrix, who fumbles the phone. I rush to Avery, who clearly isn’t going anywhere anytime soon. “Are you having a contraction? Is there anything I can do to help?”
Both women act way too controlled all of a sudden. Beatrix says, “I’m just excited you’re here.”
Avery speaks at the same time. “I’m fine right now. It will be obvious when a contraction starts.”
We make small talk. Avery’s contractions are a wake-up call for me. I hate seeing my friend in pain, but the promise of getting to meet her baby, of seeing what my future holds, fills me with excitement.
“What’s on your mind, why are you so fidgety?” Beatrix asks.
I need to tell someone, and I figure Beatrix and Avery are as good of confidants as any. If anyone will understand, they will. “Nobody knows, so you have to keep this a secret.”
They both agree, so I take a deep breath and continue.
