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I can handle my rage, obsession, and wanting her heart for myself as long as she doesn’t enjoy herself. I’ll lose my mind if that happens. Her moaning for another man andbegging like a whore would send me over the edge. I know this, and I think she does too, as she stares around Nix with a hateful glare in my direction.
I’ll kill her and keep her heart locked in a chest forever.
She’ll never leave me, no matter what.
Tillie
Bile rises up my throat, causing me to choke back a gag as Nix’s pants legs fill my vision. He’s the last of the club's brothers that raped me before Cruz. To see and smell him standing this close causes me to sway on my knees, willing myself to not pass out. I’d rather be awake than unconscious and not know what’s being done to my body. Strong smells of cigars make me choke back another round of vomit in my throat, and a dirty stink of motor grease mixed in uncleanness from not showering for days.
Oh god.
I pant for breath, trying to desperately draw in air as I slightly turn my head to the side to inhale the salty smell of the ocean. It’s so dark out here, the boat gliding over the waves on a moonless night for endless miles. I’m completely at their mercy. I whip my head back around when I hear a zipper lowering with a rusty chuckle from Nix. Okay, I can do this and then have time to think once the deed is done. It’s not something I haven’t been through before. I’m strong, and I can think of the guys as I drift further and further away from land and sanity.
“That’s a good little cunt. Open your mouth.” Nix says,fisting a handful of my hair and pulling sharply so my face is pressed against the roughness of his jeans as his semi-hard cock grazes my cheek. I whimper quietly as my eyes water, not wanting to go through this again, but sometimes we don’t have a choice in the matter of what we need to do to survive. I know Cruz is watching somewhere behind Nix; it’s all a fucking test and expressing his way oflove.It’s bullshit. This isn’t love; it’s a passion to control someone you're obsessed with to the point of being unhealthy. Well…
Fuck him, and fuck this!
I lean around Nix, hissing in pain as I feel strands of my hair pull from Nix's grip. I hardly feel it, though, as I make eye contact with Cruz and put every ounce of loath I feel for him in my expression before breaking our gazes to look back up at Nix. I force a sweet smile and nuzzle my cheek into his cock with a pleased hum in my throat, as if I’m really enjoying this.
I fight back the strong urge to gag. This is the only way to send Cruz off the deep end and hopefully end up killing Nix.
“Oh God, your cock is so big, Nix. Do you want me to suck it?” My tone comes out breathless, in awe, and drawing Cruz’s attention with each raspy word leaving my mouth.
“Fuck. You cock sucking bitch. Put my dick in your mouth and enjoy it,” Nix groans as I give him a broad lick at the base of his penis while keeping eye contact, knowing he can’t look away.
I feel sick to my stomach and dizzy. I wonder if this type of hurt deep inside of me will ever end. Maybe I’m meant to burn in hell always, endless torture of the same thing over and over that I won’t be able to tell what’s real or not. The only thing that keeps me going right now is my guys. I knowthey won’t judge me for what I must do to survive, only so I can see them again.
“That’s it. Give it another lick. You really love cock, don’t you whore?” Nix groans again in pleasure from above and doesn’t hear the wood dock flooring creak right by his side.
I allow the saliva to pool between my lips and slide out as I lick Nix again. I’m hoping the taste of him leaves my mouth before I can taste a hint of him on my tongue. Heavy breathing like an angry bull fills the silence. Besides Nix’s loud grunts and groans, my stare shifts to the side, and Cruz’s eyes meet the cold, icy blue, staring down at me with a sneer.
“Do you love him, Tillie? Does he get your pussy wet?” Cruz shouts so loudly Nix jumps and stumbles away when he notices the raging, hot fury in Cruz’s gaze as it falls on him. “I said you could punish her, not make her enjoy it!”
It happens so fast, but I act without thinking.
Cruz pushes Nix hard on the chest just as I shift my body into a tight ball and duck down with my head smacking against the floor while trying to protect my body by folding my arms protectively over my head. The air rushes out of me as Nix’s legs collide with my ribs as he starts to tip backwards over my crouched position. I glance up between my long hair to see his arms windmilling as he tries to catch his balance, but he doesn’t stand a chance with me in the way. It only took one rage-fueled push from Cruz, and Nix is flipping backwards over the railing, falling below in the darkness of the ocean. Not before we hear a loud thunk, before a splash sounds. He must have hit something on the way down. He didn’t even have time to scream.
I choke on a sob that is crawling up my throat, slowly lowering my arms as I peek between the curtains of my long hair. Cruz stands in front of me, not blinking as he staresdown at me and pulls his hair while releasing a scream of frenzy rage.
“You did this! You want to get your pussy wet for another man and beg for it? Fine! Your cunt will never be empty again, fucking whore.” He eerily relaxes his expression, all emotions vanishing in a second.
My stomach turns, and I end up throwing up at his feet, uncaring about the smell or mess of bile. He’s going to pass me around and let strangers use my body over and over. I dry-heave until nothing else comes up. I sob and choke as he grabs my forearm in a bruising grip that causes me to whine at the burn. He walks in a ridged, clipped stride up to the last set of stairs that lead up to the third upper dock. We pass the captain's cockpit, and I notice it empty, wondering who’s steering the yacht before I’m being dragged up the slippery and wet stairs.
It’s an odd thing to notice; it’s the only part of the boat I’ve seen that is wet, along with the outline of a set of shoe prints. Maybe it was Nix or the Captain. I realize I’m trying to distract myself, pulling my mind away from what’s happening this very moment.
I can feel myself shutting down as I look out into the dark sea, wondering how far away from land we are. There isn’t a light in sight from any direction, as if we are the only ones out here. I’m alone with Cruz. I think it sinks in at that point. My head stays turned down to the floor as I shuffle my feet. I feel like my whole body hurts. I really do think this is my body shutting down.
“What the fuck?” Cruz says in shock. I’ve never heard that tone from him before at all.
I almost bump into Cruz’s back and try to stop my whole body from shaking in uncontrollable terror. What waits for me now? I think I’ll take my chances with the ocean at thispoint. I’m starting to think I’ll never see my guys again, hear their voices, feel their touch, or hear the beat of their hearts as I lay my head against their strong chests.
One tear slides down my cheek as I stare down at my feet in defeat.
Nothing matters anymore.
“Baby girl, you’ll raise your head right now and never have to hide again.”
I gasp, my head snapping up at the sound of Logan’s deep, honeyed voice.
