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“What happened?”
“They cut me out.”
She gasps. “They kicked you out just because of that?”
“Without their support, I had to scramble to make my own money. That is when I forced myself to perform on stage.”
Her eyes glint. “When you said you made that album for a friend…”
“I was desperate to make my marriage work, to prove my family wrong, to make a name for myself so that I could provide for them and keep my wife and child together. But seeing me go on tour while she was forced to stay at home alone was a prison for Ashanti. She did not know the language and had made few friends in Japan. It was not an ideal situation.”
“You were doing what was best for them,” Dejonae defends me.
I want to kiss her again, but I keep my hands to myself . “She was broken and I did not see. It was not her fault.”
“But—”
“I did not give Ashanti what she needed. Reassurance, love, understanding. I believed that I was meeting her needs when, in reality, I was only pushing her away. When she asked for a divorce, the distance between us had already been growing for a while. I did not fight for her to stay.”
“You loved her.” It is a statement, not a question.
“I did. She gave Niko to me. I will never regret the way we met or the way we ended because it gave me my child.”
“Do you still have feelings for her?”
I wrap my arms around Dejonae. “No.”
“How do you know?”
“Because when I end something, it is truly over. I do not allow room for regrets.”
Dejonae burrows in closer. “Did you ever date a black woman before her?”
“No. And I never seriously considered marriage to anyone before I met her either.” I rub my chin. “Suddenly, she was pregnant and we became a couple. What mattered was the family we were going to create, not the color of her skin.”
“Were you always so open-minded or…?”
“Perhaps because of my mother. She was the only one who would visit our home when the family turned their backs. I believe Ashanti managed to stay so long in Japan because of my mother’s welcome.”
As I confess it all to Dejonae, my heart feels strange. Heavy. What happened with Ashanti tore the both of us, but it left more damage on her. Now that I am starting again, I feel a sense of caution. I never want to inflict the same wounds on Dejonae.
I play with one of her curls. “My first marriage taught me that being a father and being a man are not the same as being a husband. I had to hurt someone to learn that lesson, but I am not the type to make the same mistake twice. Thankfully, Ashanti found someone who could be the man I couldn’t be for her and they are happily traveling the world together.”
“I’m glad for her. After everything she’s been through, she deserves that.”
I press a kiss to her temple and murmur, “And what do I deserve?”
“A beautiful college student.” She laughs.
“That is more than I deserve.” I encircle her waist and drive her as close to me as the seatbelt will allow. Tucking my lips to the side of her throat, I whisper, “Everything that happened in my life led me to you.”
“You really are more romantic than you look.”
I smile against her dark skin. “Only in private.”
She pouts. “So no PDA for us? Darn it.”
I laugh softly. “Is it my turn to ask about your past relationships?”
