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“So proper, little sunshine.” He grinned, as if we were old friends.
I blushed even more. I was not opposed to such language, though the fae who worked our land and traveled to trade the herbs used it frequently. I sometimes use it myself in select company when the situation required. I was just so conditioned by our ways and the expectations of the females in our community. And perhaps, most of all, my mother’s expectations of me. Was it fair that they held us to different standards? I never felt it was. It was okay for the males to push the boundaries of propriety, but they always expected the females to comply. And for reasons I could never understand, my mother always seemed especially focused on my behavior and ways.
“Don’t worry. We will chase those habits out of you quickly, I promise. You’ll be giving us a hard time before we know it.”
I wasn’t so sure. I felt like the use of language was only half the problem. He seemed to exude confidence and was uninhibited in ways I could not comprehend. I was raised to be the exact opposite. Never speak up, never cross lines. These ways were so utterly foreign to me—I’d never catch up. Besides, I wasn’t staying in this place once I could leave on my own.
“I think you’re great is all,” Kol cut into my thoughts. “I don’t want him to mess things up and push you away.” He winked again at that.
So, the brothers hadn’t talked. Kol didn’t know I wanted to leave or about the arrangement Nyx had pushed me into, unless this was a well-executed plan to get me to lower my guard. I’d have to stay diligent, as this was a war from every side, and all the players knew each other but me.
“Mess what up? Your brother acted as though he rescued me, but it was more of a kidnapping than a rescue. It’s hard to misinterpret that.”
Kol bit his lip. Whether he was stifling a smile or some other emotion, I couldn’t tell.
“I can see how it seems that way to you, but he saved you, Zaria. I swear it to the Goddess. He brought you here to save both of you. You are his ryder—you need each other.”
“I don’t know what that means.” I sighed.
“By the Goddess, please tell me he told you why he brought you here?”
“He told me I’m his ryder and that he needs me here to claim his full power and his rightful place, but none of that means anything to me.” Frustration seeped into my words as I recalled his selfish requests.
Kol looked at me, agape. He didn’t seem like the type of male who was often struck speechless, but the silence stretched on between us.
He slowly shook his head and then pinched the bridge of his nose. “Goddess, forgive me. I’m going to strangle him.”
I almost laughed, he looked so serious.
“Zaria,” he said earnestly, taking my hand. I fought the urge to snatch it away. Such familiarity was not permitted in my community, and it was a conditioned response. I was not used to such tactile ways, but Kol just seemed to ease the need to reject it, and I relaxed. “On behalf of my idiot brother, I apologize. Please do not base your opinion of the rest of us on him, I beg you. We are not all so…”
“Douchey,” I supplied, still not knowing what the word meant.
He burst out laughing. “I was going to say selfish, but sure, douchey works.”
I stifled a laugh.
“He really told you he brought you here because he wants you to help him get what he needs?”
I nodded. “Yes.”
“And you’re still here?”
“I don’t exactly have anywhere else to go. I don’t even know where I am,” I admitted quietly. “Aside from in the healer’s wing, I mean. I know that much. But what it’s a wing of and where in the Twelve Kingdoms that is exactly, I do not know.” My face heated, and I suddenly felt stupid. The whole scene yesterday was so disorienting, it hadn’t even occurred to ask.
“Oh, my sweet little sunshine.” He grabbed me in a hug, and I stiffened. Kol’s easy nature aside, I was unused to such casual physical contact from anyone. Affection was not something freely given in my home. "Sorry, I should have asked first,” he said, not making any move to let me go. In fact, he seemed to squeeze me tighter. “Some fae don’t like to be hugged, but you looked like you could use one, and I’m a hugger.”
I giggled. I didn’t want to, but I liked Kol. I didn’t want to like anyone in this place. I wanted to get away as soon as I could find a way. But first Kiera and now Kol… Maybe he was right that I should not base my opinions of a whole kingdom on the actions of one. And despite never having or thinking I needed comfort in this way, it was… nice.
As fast as he had grabbed hold of me, he let me go. “You must be entirely confused, little sunshine. What can I tell you to ease your mind?”
I shrugged. Every new piece of information just brought more questions. I needed facts, but I had to be able to process them one at a time. If I showed him how vulnerable the not-knowing was making me, he could take advantage of me in so many ways. I didn’t know where I was, didn’t understand why they wanted me here, what they expected of me, if my family still lived, or if I would ever see them again. They were all weaknesses I wasn’t willing to reveal by asking every question on my mind. I would have to try and hold back where possible.
“Okay, let me tell you what I know,” he declared, apparently unconcerned that I had not answered. “We should sit,” he suggested, gesturing to the small sitting area.
I took a seat, and he dropped into the chair Nyx had claimed yesterday. Nyx had made it seem like a throne because he had somehow infused it with more power and presence by just existing in it. With Kol, it was simply a chair. Not that Kol had no presence—quite the opposite. But Kol wasn’t intimidating. It was inviting, warm, and a little chaotic.
“Okay, firstly, you are with the healers because you suffered Dragon’s Bane poisoning. You were unconscious for a while, but the healers treated you, and now you are on the mend.”
