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I allowed a small smile. It was something. And I would practice. The less he knew of what was in my head, the better. It was the best motivation to work hard at that skill.
Suddenly conscious that my hand was still in his, I pulled it away, and it was as if I burst a bubble. I stepped back, creating some distance, and covered the movement by busying myself with the things I still had to put away.
Nyx rose, clearly intending to leave. He peered over my shoulder into the bag of supplies, and I instantly felt judged. I closed the bag to prevent him nosing into my things.
“I see you got all the necessities.”
I did not want to get into the many objections I made, nor Kol’s insistence. That was not his business. “Your brother was very generous,” I told him simply.
Nyx laughed and headed for the door.
I spun to face him. “What is so funny?” I demanded.
“If you think I would allow my brother to provide for my ryder when she is in need, Sol, you are very much mistaken.”
I opened and closed my mouth. What did he mean by that?
“Strengthen the dam,” he ordered, and unbidden, I obeyed. He nodded. “Better. And what I meant was…you’re welcome. If there is anything else you need, anywhere in the capital, simply put it on the Asar account.”
I glared. Did he mean that he had paid for these things?
He was still laughing as he let himself out of my room, while I growled in frustration and hurled one of my new boots at the closing door.
FOURTEEN
ZARIA
Iwas lonely.
It was a cold, hard fact I could no longer ignore.
I guess if I thought about it, I had always been isolated in many ways from the family and community around me. But there, I knew my place. Here, I was alone, and sitting in this set of rooms that was now supposed to be mine, I felt it.
I wished I had gotten something to read. Kol had bought me writing supplies but nothing to read. Apparently, I would be given texts to learn, but I didn’t have those yet. I had organized my new things in my space. I had bathed and dressed. Now I felt lonely.I hadn’t thought I’d have the energy to be awake long enough to feel homesick if I was honest. After an attack from the herbs, I should have been long abed.
Evening was approaching, and I didn’t even know where to go to get food. I wondered if I would be able to find my way back to the healer’s wing to visit Kiera since she was the only other person I knew in the palace. But when I thought of leaving this room and encountering strangers in the halls, I balked and stayed put.
I should have asked Kol where I could go after I settled in, but it wasn’t his fault. He couldn’t be expected to think of everything. He had his own life to live. If it was anyone’s responsibility, it was Nyx’s, but clearly, he wasn’t concerning himself with my welfare, so I was on my own.
I sighed. It would not be the first evening of my life I went without a meal.
Chatter in the corridor filtered under my door, and I tensed. Just the thought of how many strangers I was sharing space with unnerved me. I had checked the lock was turned before I bathed, which was the only reason I could relax in the amazing, pre-warmed water they had here.
The innovation astounded me when I first saw it in the healer’s wing, but to find it available in my chamber too was a shock. I had to learn how it was done. It poured into the tub already warmed from pipes that ran along the walls. I didn’t know where it came from, but I was exceptionally happy to soak in clean, warm water, which I had not had to heft from the well and heat over the fire. It felt almost too indulgent.
The voices grew louder as they passed by my door, then a knock sounded.
Before I had the chance to wonder who it was, Kol called out, “Little sunshine! Come out to play!”
I smiled involuntarily and rushed to the door, so glad of the company I was craving. I flung the door open and stopped dead. Kol wasn’t alone. Three strangers crowded the corridor with him. With smiles on their faces and the same energy that Kol exuded, they seemed friendly enough, but I still withered. I could feel it creeping under my skin and I couldn’t stop it. When I shrank back and put my vulnerability on full display, I wanted to kick myself.
Kol’s face fell as he took in my unfortunate reaction. “Oh, hey, sorry. I should have warned you I’d brought friends.”
I quickly pulled myself together and shook my head vigorously. “No, it’s fine. Sorry. I was just surprised.” I summoned the courage to look at the others and plastered on a smile. “Hi.”
“Where are my manners?” huffed Kol. “Zaria, this is Maxen, Casimir, and Elvar, my ryder,” he said, pointing to each of his friends.
Maxen, a male as large as Kol and Nyx, extended his hand in greeting, and I took it tentatively, unused to greeting anyone new. The very few traders that ever came to the compound were kept away from us, but I had seen this greeting exchanged from a distance. It was just the first time I had tried it myself. It felt right, though—a way to connect with a new person and measure each other at the same time. This male was physically strong, and while I was sure he had to have formed the opposite opinion having measured me, he had a warm smile and a light touch. “Pleased to meet you.”
