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She leaned to look out the door I’d walked through. “It’s barely dinner time.”
“Better to start early and pass out early, because we both have to work tomorrow.”
“I have the overnight shift, so I couldn’t even if I wanted to.”
“I probably should keep working, but Zaria isn’t speaking to me.”I grunted.
“What did you do?”
“How do you know I did anything?”
She looked at me over the rim of her mug. “Don’t make me answer that. You won’t like the response.”
I narrowed my eyes and held out my hand for her cup. “Because it’s wrong?”
“Hardly.” She gave me an inquisitive look but passed it to me. “What are you doing?”
“Making you a fresh one. Knowing you, that tea’s been sitting there for hours.” I moved to her small kitchen, which was a luxury for the palace. It was a tradeoff for being this out of the way. The more desirable rooms were smaller but closer to the courtiers.
Kiera didn’t get up. “Two cubes of sugar. Thank you.”
“If you think I don’t know how you like your tea by now, I’m offended.” I held my hand over the small stove. Only a little warmth lingered from when she’d heated water earlier, so I picked up the kettle and used my own fire to heat it. No need to waste the firewood or the time it would take to heat. I dumped her mug and grabbed myself a fresh one.
“You never know how much males actually listen.”
I made a rude gesture before adding the sugar to both our mugs and bringing them back to her little sitting area. I sat back with mine and sipped the warm liquid.
“Are you going to fill me in? Or are we to sit in silence and pretend this is nothing more than you coming to see your oldest friend.”
“I don’t want to sound like a bastard.” I pushed my fingers into my hair, half wanting to pull it out.
“What is it? Zaria’s magic, you two not getting along, or everyone expecting you both to be brilliant from the moment you found each other?”
“All of the above, with an emphasis on the last.”
“One of the reasons I’m so happy I come from a long line of healers. We all get the healing gift. Some better than others, but there’s no pressure to be anything more than what the family has been doing for centuries.”
“I am expected to fulfill the obligations that come with my family name, only I couldn’t until now. So, every minute we aren’t living up to expectations, we are a disappointment, and it’s turning me into a monster, Kiera.” I scrubbed a hand over my face.
“You’re frustrated,” she reasoned.
“I am, but I’m taking it all out on her, and it’s not her fault, I know that. But can I stop myself from being a dick to her? No. I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”
“Alpha male conditioning is what is wrong with you,” she said flatly.
I looked up at her and narrowed my eyes. “Excuse me?”
“Oh, come now, you know that’s exactly how the General dealt with frustration, and you hated it. But the conditioning got in deep anyway, so here you are.”
I blinked at her.
“Don’t look so affronted. It’s not your fault you were raised by an emotionally unavailable, grumpy bastard.” She sipped her tea, and I relaxed slightly, until she spoke again. “But it is your fault you’re allowing yourself to act like one.”
I grumbled into my tea as I took a sip so that I didn’t lash out. Fuck, she was right, and I hated myself.
“You’re both under a great deal of pressure, but that’s no excuse for this kind of behavior, Nyx. You’re not helping her. You’re compounding the pressure.”
I nodded, feeling chastised and guilty.
