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Ifelt his loss. It was tangible between us. It was my loss, too, but I was finally feeling the weight of his suffering for all those years.
“I’m so sorry,” I whispered. It felt like not enough, but what else could I say?
My mind was reeling. Why was my mother so angry when she saw Nyx? From what I had read, discovering you were a ryder was supposed to be an honor—a privilege granted by the Goddess. What reason could my family have had to run away to prevent it from happening?
What pushed my mother to fabricate a world without magic? Or pushed her to find one at the very least. The pieces of my fractured reality began to fit together.
“A ryder gets their magic when they meet their flyer…” I mused.
“You should have,” Nyx confirmed. “I could feel the power inside you, but we weren’t together long enough for me to know if your magic awoke.”
“It must have. We met, and that’s the trigger, right? So, they had to have suppressed it.”
“I’ve tried to tell you that, Sol.” His words were kind, not exasperated.
“I know, but I’ve seen things for myself now. It’s just sinking in, that’s all.” I felt like the ground beneath me rolled like I was stuck in an earth shake, but it was inside, not outside.
“But how have they done it? We know it’s not the poison. I’m well now that I’m free of that. It has to be something else. And how is it still blocked when they are gone? Could they have stripped me of my powers for good?” Questions came faster than I could voice them, and it all hit me harder than it had before. I could see it clearly now. It all pointed to the village, my community, my parents. “They did this to us on purpose.”
He nodded solemnly.
“I’m so sorry.” I’d been so terrible to him when my parents were the ones who deserved my anger. They took me away from all of this, lied to me, tried to make me less, and for what? That part hurt the worst. I could not fathom a good excuse.
“It’s not your fault. Please don’t say sorry. You suffered too, more than me.”
“Why did they do it?” I all but begged him, though I knew he did not have the answer.
“I wish I knew, Sol. Maybe we will never know. All we can do now is find a way to access your power and make up for lost time.”
My shoulders slumped. “Oh, good. The impossible task is all we have left to do.”
“Don’t give up now. We are so close.”
“We aren’t close. This feels impossible. What if they ruined my magic somehow? Is that possible?” I searched his face for reassurance.
He took my hands. “It can’t be gone. I don’t believe that. We just have to find it…and I have a plan.”
My brow furrowed. “You do?”
He pointed over to the trunk of a fallen tree. “Let’s sit. I’ll tell you about it.”
We walked over, and as I sat, he dug in his pants pocket and pulled out a leather pouch. He sat beside me, tipping two items into his palm.
He studied them—a small vial, and a dark stone—then drew in a breath and spoke. “There is a way we can find out what is blocking your magic.”
“Okay…” I replied with trepidation, sensing hesitation from him. “Why have we waited so long to try it?”
He sighed, closing his eyes. “It’s highly illegal, and so, so dangerous.”
I recoiled. “Dangerous, how?” If it was such a risk, maybe we shouldn’t even consider it.
He lifted the small vial from his hand and held it to the light. There was a liquid swirling inside that was a viscous, shimmering green. It was a small amount, but something as dangerous as he hinted at might only need a drop. “This is an apotheosis potion. It allows you to walk into another’s soul.”
He waited for me to digest that information, but he must have known it meant nothing to me. “That…sounds…” I couldn’t finish that sentence. It sounded impossible, but I had to keep reminding myself I now lived in a world where the impossible was commonplace. “You want me to, what? Drink it?”
He shook his head. “No, I will drink it while we are open to one another, mind to mind, and connected by touch. Then I can cross into your soul.”
“Don’t we do that already? Open mind to mind when we speak?”
