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I must fall asleep because I wake suddenly to someone touching my head. Leaping to my feet, I let out a ferocious growl, knocking the intruder over.
Vanessa squeaks and crab walks backwards. “It’s me, Keenan!”
I shift to human. “Vanessa, I’m sorry.”
Her wide eyes crinkle and she laughs. “I guess I should probably know better than to touch a slumbering wolf. Sometimes I forget you’re not particularly tame in that form.”
“I would never hurt you.” I kneel in front of her, gripping her arms, my gaze roving over her. She looks wonderful in her jeans and T-shirt, her cupcake patterned apron tied neatly around her waist. Her red hair is piled in a messy bun on top of her head, strands escaping to give her a delightfully unkempt look. She looks tired though. “How long were you in the Shadow Realm?”
“Two days.” She yawns and backs up until she’s leaning against the wall. “The witches forgot I need to sleep so I grabbed catnaps in the library whenever I could. It was kind enough to provide a comfy cot.”
I frown, caressing her cheek, feeling the softness. “Magdalene has a lot to answer for, stealing you away and not seeing to your needs.”
Vanessa’s lips curve. “She knew you’d say that so she elected to stay behind.”
I sit next to her, lifting her into my lap and wrapping my arms around her. “What did you find out?”
“A lot, Keenan.” She tips her head back to look up at me, her gaze sad. “But not enough. Nothing that’ll help.”
I nod, my arms tightening. “It doesn’t matter. You need some sleep and probably some food too.”
She yawns again, snuggling into my chest. “Sleep first, then food.”
She’s already asleep when I stand, hefting her in my arms and carrying her through the mansion to our bedroom. I lay Vanessa on the bed and gently remove her clothes. She stirs but doesn’t wake up as I tuck her naked beneath the duvet and close the blinds.
Before I leave the room, my gaze caresses my mate. I want nothing more than to crawl in with her, but I can’t. Not yet. The panic threatening to overwhelm me is so consuming, I won’t be able to keep it from Vanessa unless I leave.
I secure the house, setting the state-of-the-art alarm system as I walk out the front door. Unable to stand being in my human form a second longer, sinking under the weight of my grief, I turn to the one thing I can always rely on. My wolf.
Shifting, I take off for the end of the driveway, zigzagging through street after street, passing mansions and parks until I reach the edge of civilization.
Giving into instinct, I streak across the landscape, my feet hitting the earth with enough force to send dirt and stones flying.
She’s going to die and there’s nothing I can do.
My brothers surround me in spirit, their wolves sprinting with mine. No one says a word. For once, their presence is comforting. They understand because they’ve seen me go through this four times previously.
The end of my story never changes. I’m doomed to love and lose. Stopping, I fling my head back and howl, crying out my misery to the blazing midday sun. I howl until my throat hurts and then I howl some more. I howl as if my heart is breaking because it is.
Keenan? Vanessa’s voice whispers in my head. Where are you? Why are you sad? What’s happening?
I stop howling and stand immobile sucking in air through my snout, my heart rate decreasing as I breathe.
I don’t want to be alone. Please come home. Her words are ambrosia, impossible to resist, and I turn on the spot, heading back in the direction I’d come.
My mate needs me. It’s time to rein in my emotions and pull my shit together so I can make her last days the best she’s ever known. Whether we have weeks or months, I will make sure it counts. I’m on my way.
Arriving home, I shift into my human and head for the kitchen where I can hear Vanessa banging around. The smell of baking cookies has my mouth watering. When I enter the kitchen, she turns, a grin stretching her lips.
Calmness settles over me. Seeing her like this is enough. We don’t need forever when we have this.
I open my arms and she walks into my embrace, murmuring, “Thanks for putting the cookie dough in the fridge.”
“I wanted those cookies,” I mutter, kissing the top of her head. “Tell me about the Citadel. What did you learn?”
She takes my hand and leads me to the table where I sit while she pours two cups of coffee and sets out a plate of fresh-baked cookies. Settling into the seat next to me, her eyes sparkle. “The Shadow Realm is amazing, Keenan. I really wish shifters could go there because you’d love it.”
I shake my head but smile at her enthusiasm. “Most shifters are freaked out by the amount of magic swirling around that realm. We’re better off staying where the natural order put us.”
