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"Are you doubting me?" I question, my voice sleek and dangerous. He's my brother, but he's not above the law. And in my father's absence, I'm the law in this room.
He holds his hands up in the air. "Not a shred. Just worried. Last time, things with Mel didn't exactly go as planned. Don't get me wrong, I love her, but she's nothing like us. How certain are you that she'll stay put this time?"
Just the thought of her away from me has a growl building in my chest.
"She doesn't have a fucking choice. No one ever leaves a mafia marriage. Not without their body in a fucking bag."
Declan breaks in. "And will you be able to put her in it?"
I jerk my chair back suddenly and bang my hands against the table. "This conversation is over. No one is discussing my wife's death before I have her hitched to me in the first place. I’m fucking insulted. Does no one think I can take care of my fucking family?” I’m snarling at this point.
Fuck this. “I'm leaving."
I nearly jog out of the room, my head on fire, in a daze. I feel rubbery, and Ryder joins me at the door, following quietly like he's supposed to, unlike my dimwit brothers.
I ignore the greetings of my men on the property, heading over to the meandering stream of water that makes a small lake at the back of the property. I need a moment to myself before heading home.
Ryder takes a stand a few feet away from me, and I let myself sink to the floor, close my eyes, and let my thoughts wander.
The last time with Mel had been a roller coaster ride. We'd fallen in love clear-eyed and young. She'd been like a ray of bold sunshine lighting up and filling the cold, dank places of my heart.
I'd never felt so alive as when she'd been snuggled up to me or when she'd leaned into me when we were with company, seeking my warmth like a plant after light. Or sunk into her, riding wave after wave of pleasure with her wrapped tight like a vice around my cock.
And I'd been just as dead when she'd decided she just wasn't capable of watching my life as it was turning out to be. As it had been groomed from birth to be. It had been a spiral of drink and women after.
Even worse when she'd left the country with her sister Gianna. I'd done my best to keep track, but she'd seemed to disappear into thin air. And by then, the pressure of taking up after Father had dug in.
The very reason she'd left me had become the only way I could stay sane. That and the fucking feud between our families.
Sedric and Father haven't always seen eye to eye. In fact, it is much easier to say they hate each other.
And deep inside, I was frozen.
One cold, tender bit at a time, the darkness took over the light she'd planted until I was, again, the monster she had worried I would become.
And now, we are back down to where we had left off. And I don't know if I want her to thaw me again.
9
MEL
"Dinner has been slated for seven this evening. Rosa will send a few dresses to choose from. He'll pick you up. Be ready."
I scrunch my face up and turn from the mirror I've been staring into blindly for the last few minutes.
It sounded like a command, and it was. Xander calls, and I go. It is the terms of our engagement this time. My throat tightens, and I smile at myself, infuse some warmth into my voice, and answer.
"Of course, Ryder."
Ryder is Xander's underboss, second in command, and the person calling me to set up a date with my would-be husband.
I smile again and sink my teeth into my bottom lip.
"Are you okay?" Ryder asks. His voice is rough and hoarse. The way it has always been. Possibly the way it will always be until he stops smoking a thousand cigars a day.
I nod, though he cannot see it. Or me. "I am. I'm excited to get out of the house."
He gives a sardonic laugh. "You don't have to lie to me. I know this is difficult for you."
