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I don't know all the particulars of what goes on when he goes away to "work." But I am not foolish enough to believe this wouldn't spin out in some bad press for him.
God. I am just tired of thinking. I want to spend time with my child. I want to hug him good night and have him fall asleep in the safety of my arms. He's my priority. Anything else is debris in rushing water. It'll pass.
Even Xander. It doesn't matter how my body aches for him. How much I seek the caress of his fingers over my skin. It doesn't matter how he's already making me feel.
He chuckles, the sound dark and throaty. "She didn't. She wasn't in your situation. But knowing her, she would've done this too."
I bite my lip and hike my eyebrows. I don't believe a word he's saying. "Would she? We both know Mother was fearless."
I wish I had half her strength. Half of the fire of herself. She'd always kept father in line. Had him wound so tight around her finger, she'd become the center of his existence.
"She was. But so are you."
My lips are already parting to answer when he holds his hand up in the air and silences me with the spark of anger in them.
"No arguments Melissa. You go in and get Lucian ready. Amory has already had Rosa pack your bags. You'll move this evening."
I tremble, worry, anger and helplessness blooming and spreading like fire in my tight chest.
"You said I had two days."
His face is a clean slate. He's no longer my father. He's a businessman, telling me as it will be. I'd known there was a reason we were holding this conversation in his study instead of at dinner, where he discussed most family business that concerned his children.
"Well, you don't anymore. You'll keep putting it off. Amory will let Xander know he'll be expecting you. Go speak to Lucian."
How do I tell him he will be moving into a house with a man who is his father? How do I explain why I'd left in the first place?
He is a child, but he isn't stupid. He'll have questions. He is a person in his own right. He deserves answers.
I nod at Father and yank my hand away from his when he goes to comfort me with what I'm certain is a squeeze.
I can feel the spear of his gaze on my back my entire walk to the door. I feel jittery. Like I can't think. Caught in a state of limbo.
The walk to Lucian's room is long, almost as though I'm buying myself time for Father to change his mind, for Xander's father to decide the Russians weren't enough of a threat, as though that would help me either way.
When I arrive in Lucian's room, Hailey is already packing his clothes. Most of it is upended on the bed, large pills of soft cushiony fabrics. He's jumping on the bed, more interrupting than helping.
I smile when he spies me by the door and comes jumping off the bed.
"Papi says we're heading to another house. Do you think it'll be fun?" He loops his arms around my neck when I sweep him into my arms.
He smells of baby lotion and his shampoo. Hailey is watching me, her eyes half on the clothes she's folding carefully into boxes.
I inject a suitable dose of enthusiasm into my voice. I press a long kiss to his forehead, and my arm coils him deeper into my chest.
He's warm, and his wet hair from a shower tickles my nose. My heart thuds faster. "it's going to be a lot of fun. You'll love it."
I hope he does. I plan on protecting him however I can from the tension between Xander and me. He'll never physically hurt Lucian, but I will never allow him to teach my lovely boy to be as hard and emotionless as his own father has taught him and his siblings to be.
"Will Uncle Daniel visit?"
"He better."
"And Aunty Gianna?" He pronounces the name with a slight lisp, his voice producing it as "Gi Ana."
I smile and swing him in my arms, the sound of his laughter calming my heart. Hailey is still watching, folding the clothes faster now without the distraction of Lucian to divide her attention.
"You're coming with us, Hailey. Do you mind?" I watch her face, trying to see if she has any objections in her eyes.
