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"I'll be fine. Xander won't hurt me." I whisper into the gentle breeze blowing off the trees lining the large property.
"You sound certain. I know Xander. He's going over to Alec's club. He's going to give him a beating, then he'll rage at home, and he'll be cold for a few days. But this time? I have no idea what will happen after all that. I've never seen him this angry with me. There's a fire in him that needs to burn something to subside."
And I'd caused that. My fault. I feel shame and a potent dose of guilt. But regret isn't there. And that makes me feel a lot worse.
I hold his eyes and tune my voice as convincingly as I can make it. "It might be me. But this is my bed. Let me lie on it. Don't get scalded trying to protect me."
"You don't understand. Hiding Lucian wasn't about you. Father was using you as much as you were using us. He wanted Xander to take over the Famiglia. He never would've done that with a child on the way. Not the way you two were then. So in love, it was beautiful to see. We're greedy. Don't ever forget that."
He vomits the words between us like that should make me care less about him. Like I haven't always known it, or at least suspected it.
"Of course, I know. I didn't think his protection was for free. My father is powerful, but he never would've been able to keep me away from Xander alone. I knew I needed him then. I know I need him now. Why the hell else am I here?"
I snap, my body vibrating.
I pull my arms from his and walk away, gulping down air, my chest burning from holding off my tears, my eyes smarting.
Everything fucking hurts. I'd betrayed the man I loved to save a child I loved even more.
And now I worry he will use that very child against me. There is no hope for us.
Rosa had arrived on Xander's estate with us, but she's gone now. The room I've taken is Xander's largest guest room. It's painted a soft pastel and navy blue, and the view from the open window where air is streaming in is stunning.
A backdrop of water meandering gently in a tiny pond and green grace sheltering in the shade of the evening sun.
Lucian is still asleep in the large king-sized bed, his body tucked in like a fetus, his long lashes crafting shadows on his cheeks.
I trail a hand over his face, needing his warmth to remind me why I'd left here. Why I'd decided the violence and the drugs and the death just weren't going to be a part of his childhood.
I need it to remind me why I'd run away with a broken heart, crying as I'd told Xander I just couldn't do it anymore. Jerking away from the hard slant of his lips on mine, only the reminder of the pregnancy test burning in my purse enough to get me to slap his hands from my skin and amble away.
I press a soft kiss on his cheeks and stand up, wiping the tears that have finally made their way down my face. So long as he's safe. I'll be fine.
He's the center of my world. The sun around which I orbit. He gives me light to send to the world.
I hope I'm able to convince Xander of all this. To make him understand why I had to do what I'd done, why I'd run away only a month pregnant with his baby.
Why he'd found me in the shower crying and threatened to shatter the globe for me, willing to tear to shreds any mountain with his bare hands to keep me safe, and now, he was going to shred me.
I take my phone from my bag and call Gianna. I haven't spoken to her in two days. I need someone to talk to, and only she will understand.
She'd been the one person who had followed me out of the country when Father, with Amory's help, had found us a safe house out in the coastal region of Montenegro, right on the edge of Serbia, so we could slip away safely if there was ever a need.
There had never been a need, but we had been careful. No calls and definitely not a lot of communication with the local folks. Father had flown in with Daniel and Knox every few weeks with supplies.
And when it had been time to leave, a few years later, Gianna had fallen in love with the water and the people and had decided to stay put. With my safety guaranteed back here, she could exist freely.
Her voice crackles over the phone, and I inhale a steadying gasp of air. "Hello, Mel?"
"He knows." It's simple. I breathe, she breathes, the air heavy between us.
"How?" Worry threads through her voice, echoing the storm brewing in my stomach.
"I moved into his house today. Father said it was time. He was going to find out either way." I mutter, closing the door behind me as I step out of my room.
"I'll be flying home very soon. When is the wedding?" Gianna probes. "And have you been in his bed yet?" .
"I have no idea. It'll be whenever the men decide it should be." I drag in a ragged breath and tell her my fears. "Xander is so angry I feel he'll do something we're both going to regret. You should've seen him. He was a beast. He asked that Knox never visit the house." My voices becomes a quiet confession. "I have been in his bed."
