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"You are. Your men are dead, and you worry about her first."
"Men are replaceable. Lucian isn't." I snap at him. I recline into my chair, pushing it back from the desk. "Besides, I have everything covered before leaving."
"Yes, but you never would've left before." He says.
"What's the point of this conversation?" I set my eyes blearily on the trees waving outside and decide I'm not going to like whatever he's about to say.
"The point is, I've noticed. Your siblings know. Your men will see it soon enough. And then so will the rest of the world. If they know your weakness, Xander, you damned well be certain they'll use it against you."
I exhale a deep, tired breath and sit up straight. "You're not saying anything I don't know."
"Which is why I have to repeat it. If you don't do it for you, do it for her. They'll kill her if they know it'll kill you."
"I thought we were talking about Lucian?"
Ryder had never been known to pull his punches, and he doesn't pull it now. "I'm not fucking stupid boss. And neither are you."
And because I trust him to tell me as it is really, I ask a question that grates its way roughly out of my throat like sandpaper. "How bad is it?"
He pauses, and I can almost hear him thinking in the silence. "Bad enough, but love is love, I guess."
Who had said a word about love?
"You're going too far, Ryder." I bark. Then I hung up the phone.
19
MEL
"I need your help with this." I point a finger at the screen and turn my chair around to make space for Rosa to step closer. She pushes her chair back and walks toward me.
"The charities basically run themselves. If you'd rather not concern yourself with them, then I repeat, you don't have to." She blinks down at me from her perch on my desk and then swings her gaze to the computer.
"Why do you feel the need to repeat that?" I angle my head and peer at her until she lifts her face from the screen.
I'm at Amory Corp with Romero. We'd dropped Lucian off at school and then driven straight down here. It has been a few days since I've been here, with my move-in with Lucian and the entire struggle of settling in. But this morning has been a lot calmer, less jarring, and I've felt a lot more useful.
And just as I said, I'm taking an avid interest in running the charities. Except I don't understand why Rosa seems to think I shouldn't. Or maybe that I don't. I can't seem to decide which it is.
Rosa shrugs and pushes her glasses up her nose as she always does when she doesn't know what to say, or maybe in this situation, doesn't know what to say that won't offend me. Her blond hair is styled in a bun with the fringe a lot longer than it usually is.
It's almost unkempt, which rings a bell. Something's wrong. It's not just her hair; her eyes are dark, bags are already pumping under them, and her body is stiff under the already stiff cut of her two-piece tailored pantsuit.
"No one paid any attention to it. You shouldn't feel the need to pay it any attention. Xander doesn't want any attention drawn to it. It'll be one more weakness on his long line of weaknesses."
I tilt my head to fix her with a glare. "It's a fucking charity, Rosa. I'm not planning on splashing the news on the TV screens." I inhale, and my shoulders deflate.
I lower my voice and swing my head around the office, even though it's just the two of us. "I want to help. I need to have something of my own. Something I can do. And this is it."
Rosa twists her lips in a wry smile. "Fine. We can arrange a day for you to visit the hospitals, maybe one of the charity homes. Maybe you can talk to the kids too."
She still doesn't understand. I snap a hand into the desk and watch as she startles. I curl my fingers into a fist. "No maybes. We're doing this. We've held off on it long enough. I'd also like to make some more money for the charities."
Her jaw bunches, and suddenly, I don't understand her reluctance. This had been her idea. She'd wanted me to do this. Why the sudden change of mind?
The threat of the world finding out Xander had a few charities had been there when she'd first asked if I'd be interested in taking over. "Xander has enough money to run the charities. You don't need to do that."
I lean towards her, and though I know I shouldn't, I place a hand on her thighs. She jerks away from me but doesn't get off the table. "What's wrong, Rosa." I wave a hand between us when she goes to reply. "Don't you dare fucking lie to me either. Something's wrong. What is it?"
