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“Trust your instincts. If your relationship with Preston feels like it’s heading in a good direction, that’s great. But if not, don’t worry about what that means for you and Zachary.”
It was good advice. I needed to decide if Preston and I had potential. Was he a man I wanted to keep dating? Did I want to take things to the next level with him?
My heart whispered an answer, but I wasn’t quite ready to listen. Because the implications scared me.
CHAPTER 18
Zachary
I took a slow drink, swallowing the last of my tequila, and set down the glass. Rocco didn’t ask before bringing me a second. I’d never been any good at hiding my moods, and tonight was no exception. I felt like dog shit and it probably showed.
I’d been in a bad mood since I’d run into Marigold at the market. I would have told her it was me who’d pranked Preston’s job site. Eventually. But it would have been nice if she was a little more into me when I did. Then it would have just been a funny story I could have told her, grudgingly admitting the lengths I’d gone to for her. She would have laughed and said she should have known.
Then I’d have kissed her laughing mouth and made her forget she’d ever gone out with that douchebag.
Instead, I was wallowing in my failure at the Timberbeast.
I’d gone too far. Because of course I had. I always went too far. It didn’t matter if I tried to do what was right, or just what I felt like doing in the moment, somehow, it was always wrong.
Josiah and my dad walked in. Great, that was exactly what I needed. I took a drink of my beer, hoping they wouldn’t notice me.
No such luck.
Josiah walked over and nudged me. “Hey. What happened? You look like shit.”
“Thanks.”
“What’s going on?”
“Nothing.”
Josiah glanced at Rocco, as if he’d know. He just shrugged. He wasn’t the kind of bartender who listened to people’s problems. And I wouldn’t have told him anyway.
Dad slid onto the barstool next to me. “You sure you’re okay? You don’t look it.”
“I’ve had a bad few days.”
“You didn’t get fired, did you?”
“I’m glad that was your first instinct. No, I didn’t get fired.”
“I was just asking.”
“Maybe just leave him alone,” Josiah said. “We all have bad days.”
Dad nodded and got up from the stool. They moved to a table and sat down together. Work meeting, most likely. They were business partners, buying old houses and remodeling them together. Mom liked to tease them about having work meetings at the bar.
I glanced over my shoulder at them, jealousy eating its way through my gut like termites in old wood. Josiah had always had such an easy relationship with our dad. Was it because Josiah was his biological son, and I wasn’t?
That wasn’t really fair. Dad had never treated us any different than his other kids. I couldn’t blame it on him.
It was me. I was a lot.
Too much. Both for him, and for Marigold.
I wanted to tell myself I was being dramatic. That the fact that she wasn’t happy with me right now didn’t mean I’d totally blown it. I’d done worse. I could fix this.
But it wasn’t that she was mad about the prank that felt like a knife wound. It was the way she’d looked at me. Like she was seeing me through new eyes, and what she saw was disappointing.
