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One single moment is all it takes to ruin me.
That name on her lips.
The primal need inside me takes over, breaking through every restraint I’ve held on to over the years, knowing the animal won’t stop at anything until I make her mine again.
She consumes me.
It was so hard to slip away, to leave her there like that…hiding in the shadow like a fucking creep. But I couldn’t help myself. Every part of me calls out to her, like a beacon of light in the night. Even when I know I don’t belong, that I should walk away, keep my distance from her…I can’t. Her hold on me is intense, and I need to find a way to sever the tie quickly.
But Jesus Christ.
The way she was touching herself, her lips forming into an O, her face turning toward the ceiling as she came. I wanted to take her right then and there as she called out my name, the name from that night we’d spent together. Wanting to claim her over and over again before wrapping myself around her.
Now I know she thinks about that night too. Despite the passing years and her decision to walk away from me, it brings me comfort to know that it left an indelible impression on her. She left her mark on me like a tattoo, and a part of me has always been plagued by the fear that she didn’t share the same sentiments and that’s why she had run off before the sun had even come up.
What the hell is wrong with me? I thought I had this all under control, cut her out years ago with a surgical knife, buried those needs in the cabin after I left Boston.
This can’t happen, and especially not under Aaron’s nose.
Not in his goddamn house.
This obsession with Zoe needs to end.
Stepping onto the cold bathroom tile, I keep the lights off, relishing in the darkness as I close the door and turn the shower knob to cold. My hard-on is still raging from earlier, but I’m not going to give into it. No way I’m jerking off, because the minute I do, thoughts of her and that night will overwhelm me, reminding me of everything I’ve been missing out on since the masquerade ball.
I should have never been there tonight.
I dip my head under the waterfall shower head as the torrent cascades down from above, rolling past my sore muscles and shocking me in place. I focus on my breaths, trying to ignore the ice-cold pellets hitting my skin. Praying the distraction is enough to get my mind off what I witnessed tonight.
But it’s not enough, because all I can think about is how much I want to own her again. To gain control of her body and dig into her mind, to have her willingly give herself over to me. The need to punish her for running off on me that night, for the way she behaves, and for the way she makes me want her.
But I can’t because she can never find out who was watching her behind the masks.
My body starts trembling. Adjusting the knob to warm, I inhale deeply, allowing myself to slowly relax. I’ll approach this situation like everything else—time will gradually alleviate the need, and I’ll adapt to having her around.
This need for her will eventually subside at some point. It has to.
Standing underneath the pulsating stream, I take a deep breath, embracing the warmth as the water washes away the tension coiling deep in my muscles. As soon as I begin to relax, Zoe’s bare skin flashes before my eyes. Her in that red dress. The way her hair billowed behind her when she ran through the maze. Her startled face when I took her in my arms. The way her body squirmed underneath me as I edged her for hours.
My dick is so fucking hard.
I have this need to…
To please her over and over again until every single thought in her head disappears. Until she is empty and bare to me. Strip her bare until there is nowhere for her to hide from me. Until she finally allows herself to feel everything she is ashamed to want, to feel and not hate herself for her desires. Until she finally sees just how incredibly exquisite she truly is.
Groaning loudly, I close my eyes, trying to ignore my painful erection. Running my hands through my hair, I turn to face the wall, wishing the tendrils of warm water would cut deep into my soul and purge me of the desire I have for the one woman I can’t have.
But all I see is her golden hair swaying down her back and those jade eyes looking up at me. The image of her peaked, pink nipples poking out of the water tonight has me gritting my teeth. And I finally give in, gripping my hard cock. Mewling at the feel of it and hating myself a little more as I begin to stroke myself…imagining Zoe spread out naked in my bed. Her wrists tied up to the bedposts as I take my time feasting on her. Her body squirming, her eyes fixed on me as she anticipates my movements. I never got to see her looking at me at the ball. I imagine her doe eyes pinned on my every move, and when they dare close, I’ll command her to keep her gaze only on me. Punishing her with my palm if she closes them.
I’ll take my time with her, trailing my fingers torturously up her legs to her thighs, relishing in the feeling of her soft skin. Peppering kisses on her stomach and dragging the tip of my tongue down to her naval. Biting along her inner thighs as I wait for her to start begging me to please her.
To fuck her. To let her come.
I’ll wait until she is about to lose her mind with need.
I grip myself harder, tighter, and faster as my mind flips through images of Zoe from all the moments we’ve shared in the past. Her smile, the sound of her laugh, the smell of her honey hair, the way she looked on Sunday mornings sitting at the kitchen table. Her plump lips wrapped around my hard, swollen cock. And finally, what she looks like as she screams out my name.
“Fuck, Zo…that’s it, baby girl.”
