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God, I’m such an idiot. What the hell was I thinking? I clearly read this entire situation wrong.
I let the rejection roll right off me.
“Do you need anything? A bucket? Water? Toast?”
His eyes fall to the ground as he shakes his head.
“All right, good night.”
“I’m sorry,” he says.
And I pretend like I don’t hear him as I turn, quickly making my way out the door without looking back.
CHAPTER 6
DOMINIK
Everything hurts.
When did the sun get so goddamn bright?
My blistering, blinding headache is all I can think about as I stagger out of one of Aaron’s guest rooms. Stagger isn’t quite the right word; it’s more like I’m dragging my aching body, trying to fend off the urge to vomit all over the floor.
I need coffee and an aspirin. Might as well throw in a time machine so I can go back and punch myself in the face for drinking so much fucking alcohol. I rarely ever drink this much, and it’s been years since I blacked out. I hate how it wreaks havoc on my body and leaves me feeling like utter death for days afterward. The closer I get to thirty, the more I realize I can’t recover from long nights as quickly as I used to. Plus, it messes with my on-ice performance, making me feel sluggish and mentally foggy.
What the hell was I thinking?
It was supposed to be a laid-back night with the guys, but then Zoe appeared out of thin air, like a ghost from my dreams, in the middle of Aaron’s kitchen last night. The whole encounter threw me for a loop.
Zoe.
The woman I’ve been unsuccessful at erasing from my thoughts for years is all of a sudden here, in the heart of New York City. An echo from a past that’s been haunting me from the very first moment I laid eyes on her. She’ll be living just a few floors above me, sharing the penthouse with her brother, who also happens to be my best friend. Reinforcing her untouchable status, much like before, as she remains the object of my desire but one I’ll never attain. The universe is playing a sick joke on me.
You can’t have her, not then, not now, not ever…remember that.
After high school, I felt as though I could breathe freely again. Like the metal rod buried deep in my chest was removed. Leaving Boston marked a fresh start, and even though I missed Zoe, I was no longer in physical pain knowing I couldn’t have her. Wanting her in that way is something I can’t let myself feel ever again. It’s too much. Even I can’t contain it.
I never thought she’d leave Boston. Zoe always stayed somewhat close to her family, even after Aaron left and they kicked her out. She felt the need to remain nearby when they couldn’t give a shit about her. Was she hoping at some point they would change their minds? If they ever did, why would she take them back?
Just thinking about the way Zoe’s parents have always treated her infuriates me, more than a heated brawl on the ice ever could. They didn’t ever bother to hide their terrible behavior, and I caught it all from a distance since I basically lived at their house. It’s unfathomable that anyone would treat their own child that way, a child who only craved love and affection from the very people whose only job was to love them without conditions. My own father abandoned me, but even I know he still loved me in some way.
Zoe’s parents are monsters. They should have never been parents at all. The way they treat Aaron versus Zoe should be illegal. And the fact that they don’t see it or refuse to do something about it still gnaws at me. It killed me to see her wilt away at their hands every day. There is this animalistic need in me to make them pay, to force them to their knees and have them beg for her forgiveness while kissing her feet. I wanted to protect her, to shield her from the harm they inflicted, but the harsh reality cared little for what was right and wrong. It wasn’t my place; I wasn’t meant to show that I care.
And now she’s here, bringing back all those memories and emotions I worked hard to store away. The moment I laid eyes on her last night, my heart twisted just like it used to, and I realized I am not over it. Maybe I’ll never truly be over it. You don’t just move on from someone like Zoe.
But I don’t know her anymore, and she never really knew me. I’ve changed, and so has she. We’re different people now, and those feelings belong in the past. That’s where they’ll remain.
That night in Boston never happened. No one can find out about that.
The same reasons from before are still there. She’s my best friend’s little sister. And Aaron is a protective asshole who wouldn’t hesitate to kill me if I touched her. He even said so once right to my face. I may not agree with it and, hell, may even be a little hurt that he doesn’t trust me with his sister, but I respect him for it. And our friendship means more to me than anything else. I won’t be the one to break my promise and bring down the empire we’ve worked so hard to build together.
Aaron has been there for me from the beginning. When I had no one and nothing, Aaron took me in, invested in me, and believed in me like we were brothers. We are brothers, and I will never do anything to hurt him.
Walking past Zoe’s room, my heart picks up the pace, thrashing in my chest. Her door is ajar, and I can’t help glancing over at her perfectly made bed, sighing in relief to see she’s not sprawled out on top of it. I notice the empty suitcases tucked into the corner of her room as well as three sealed boxes labeled BOOKS.
Maybe she’s keeping everything out and accessible since she’s planning on finding her own place soon. Preferably somewhere far from here.
A fresh wave of pain smacks against my skull, karma reminding me how much of a piece of shit I am for wishing her away already.
