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“It’s no use anyway. You’re a fucking vault.”
“There is nothing in my brain, remember? I’m just a stupid jock,” I say, hiding my lips behind the mug as I sip my fresh coffee.
“Dominik…will you cut it out? It’s me. Don’t try that bullshit with me. I’ve known you forever.”
Aaron has always been quiet and calculated. He works in silence, perfectly content existing inside his head. The complete opposite of me. I would kill to peek inside his brain for even five minutes. Learn the ways he collects his thoughts and how he manages to keep his mouth shut at all times. He’s silent but extremely observant. Nothing gets past him.
Over the years I’ve managed to get him to open up a couple of times, but our relationship doesn’t work like that. We don’t talk about our feelings. We’re always there for one another, will always have each other’s backs, but emotions are never involved. Maybe it’s the way we were both raised. Who knows, but I’m thankful for that because I can never tell him the one secret I’ve been holding on to for years.
The one thing that still haunts my dreams at night. It’s not regret or shame that troubles me from that night. It’s the exact opposite. The realization that it was everything I had ever hoped it would be and more. I don’t regret a single minute of it, and if I had a chance to go back, knowing everything I know now, I’d do it over and over again.
Sipping my coffee, I scald the tip of my tongue and let out a muted curse. Every fiber in me urges me to down this drink, retreat to my apartment, and seek solace in a frigid shower until this headache subsides. Meanwhile, Aaron's piercing glare persists, signaling his expectation for a response. I'm aware he won't let this go until I offer him some kind of reply.
“I had a rough day at practice yesterday with one of the guys, and I needed to let loose. I guess I got carried away.”
“Performance problems on ice?” he asks seriously.
I sniff, arching a brow at him. “Seriously?”
He shakes his head, laughing. “Sorry, forgot you are perfect and never make mistakes.”
“They don’t call me ‘Dominator’ for no reason.”
“You’re so full of yourself.”
Blowing into the mug, I take a careful sip and don’t even care if it burns my tongue anymore. No one has better coffee than Aaron, not even Starbucks.
“Fuck, that’s good. This is why I crash here. This right here.” I take another long sip, closing my eyes and thanking the universe for small pleasures in life.
My stomach grumbles loudly. “You got any breakfast food here?”
“Check the pantry. I had my housekeeper do a grocery run before Zoe arrived.”
Of course, he did because Aaron doesn’t eat breakfast. He does intermittent fasting since he claims it helps his mind stay sharp. Walking into his pantry, I take notice of the colorful boxes of cereal. There are three boxes of Captain Crunch…Zoe’s favorite. I hate that I still remember things like that.
I hate that I know so many things about her, but what I hate even more is how pieces of the past blend into the now. I don’t want to think about that and how I remember watching her sitting at the dusty kitchen table in their old suburban house in Boston with her head down, looking distantly into her bowl of cereal with puffy eyes. I watched her cry that night. Alone in her bed, and it killed me not to go to her. It killed me how alone she was and how she never asked for anything.
And so it begins.
Nope. We’re not doing this. Not now, not tomorrow. Not ever.
Grabbing the unopened box of Honey Nut Cheerios, I walk out of the pantry.
“Hitting the ice later?”
I nod, pulling out the carton of milk, a large bowl, and a spoon.
“I thought today was your day off.”
I blink at him. “Says the guy who doesn’t know the meaning of those words.”
“I’m not an athlete who requires rest days.”
“You don’t get as good as I am by taking days off. Besides, the ice clears my head.”
Aaron sighs exasperatedly. “You’re impossible, even with a headache.”
I smile as I pour the milk, satisfied with myself for winning this round. Grabbing my coffee, I take a seat at the other end of the kitchen island.
