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A vague image of a boy with blond hair and fair skin flashed into my mind. “I kind of remember him. And yes, you two hung out a lot.”
He nodded. “One way I coped with my grief was through acting, but the other was getting away from my home as often as possible so I could avoid the memories. Scott always invited me to his house after school, and hanging out with him helped me feel a little more like myself, like I’d been before everything had changed. But just as I was starting to feel a little hopeful about the future—I’d landed some roles both at school and for the Summer Star Festival—everything changed in the blink of an eye.”
At the hurt in his gaze, I yearned to crawl over and hug Nolan. But I also didn’t want to risk him changing the subject. Whatever he was about to reveal had hurt him deeply.
So I stayed put and asked, “What happened?”
“A girl. More specifically, Scott and a girl. And no, I didn’t care if he dated and had a girlfriend. We’d both brought girls from the drama club to my family’s orchard before. But this time was different. He betrayed me right after he started dating her.”
I willed for him to keep going, and he did. “Scott had liked Cindy Davis for a while. But she was one of the more popular kids, and me and Scott were theater geeks. And since high school is full of drama and cliques, I wasn’t sure he’d ever get a chance with her. So when he told me she’d agreed to go on a date with him, I was happy. While unlikely, I wanted to believe love could conquer all.
“Right after he told me the news, he invited me to a party at his place. Scott rarely held parties outside of get-togethers with the theater crew, but he finally convinced me to go, saying it’d be the best one that year for the kids of Starry Hills High.
“The party was inside the barn on his property, with a bonfire outside of it. I mostly stayed in a corner of the barn since I didn’t know anyone apart from Scott. Then it happened.”
He looked out the car window, and my heart thumped harder. His tone said it hadn’t been good. And I wished I could spare him the pain.
But maybe telling me would help. So I said gently, “Tell me what happened next, Nolan. Please.”
He tapped his fingers against the door’s armrest for nearly a minute before he spoke again. “Cindy’s older brothers showed up, found me, and hauled me over to the stand of trees near the barn. They stripped me bare except for my underwear, wrote ‘Nerd’ on my chest, and tied me to a tree. Then everyone came, taking pictures and making fun of me, all while my supposed best friend just stood there, doing nothing, as he held Cindy’s hand.”
Tears pricked my eyes as I imagined Nolan being humiliated like that, especially when he’d always avoided the spotlight, unless he was acting.
I curled my fingers into fists. “Why the fuck would they do that? You weren’t the kind of guy to make enemies as a kid.”
He finally met my gaze again, his expression unreadable. “I learned later that West had gotten one of the brothers kicked off the baseball team. And since they’d never been able to get back at him, they decided I was a good enough target instead.”
“Oh, Nolan.”
I burned to ask if he’d ever talked to West about it. However, Nolan spoke before I could.
“And it gets worse. Apparently, Cindy had only ever agreed to date Scott so her brothers could get their revenge on me. He felt like a fool, tried to apologize, but I didn’t care. He’d thrown years and years of friendship away for the chance to kiss a girl. To say our friendship was over was an understatement. Less than a year later, right after graduation, I took my first big job and left Starry Hills.”
My heart ached for him. But there was rage, too, at someone hurting this wonderful man so deeply that it lingered all these years later.
Nolan resumed tapping his fingers again. “Once I’d made a name for myself and returned to Starry Hills, Cindy Davis tried to throw herself at me. She batted her eyelashes and somehow thought bygones should be bygones. It was my first wake-up call about how fame could affect one’s life and their relations to people.” He finally met my eyes again. “So I’ve kept my distance, always second-guessing what people really thought of me, or what they wanted from me.”
Because they didn’t want him for himself, was left unsaid.
A lot of things suddenly made sense about Nolan. He kept his distance from his siblings, not just because of time and living far apart and grief, but merely being West’s brother had ended in humiliation. Also, he didn’t like to let people close because the one person he’d trusted outside his family had betrayed him.
And then, as soon as Nolan was famous, that bitch Cindy had suddenly wanted to cozy up to him.
Add in his ex, Wendy, and more and more I started to understand how alone Nolan truly was.
As the car stopped and the driver said over the intercom we’d arrived, I released my seatbelt and crawled over to Nolan before he could leave. I sat on his lap and put my arms around his neck.
For a few seconds, we merely stared at each other. Hurt still lingered in his gaze, as did a flicker of vulnerability.
And I didn’t like it. Not at all.
I kissed him. I’d only meant for it to be comforting, but soon he threaded his fingers through my hair, tilted my head, and took it deeper. As his tongue licked and stroked and explored, I moved to straddle his lap and pulled him even closer.
Kisses couldn’t cure all hurts, but I was determined to let him know I was there, I cared, and he deserved so much better than what had happened to him.
Eventually, he broke the kiss and laid his forehead against mine. “I hope that wasn’t a pity kiss.”
I traced his jaw with my finger. “No. I’ve been wanting to kiss you ever since you unzipped my dress earlier today.”
