AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“I decided to move out when I started making content for PatronSinners. I knew that the guys would… have shit to say about it, so I could never film here. I wanted privacy.”
“Can I ask you something?” she asked.
“Yeah.”
“Why did you join? If you didn’t need the money? Which I’m assuming you didn’t, since you bought a house before joining,” she clarified.
“Honestly? I was looking for the attention,” I admitted, cringing at how shallow that sounded. “I think some part of me felt lost after leaving dancing behind. It seems like I got a littletoo obsessed with my intake and exercise, but I wasn’t getting the validation I guess I was seeking from it.”
She watched me for a second before saying, “But… you dated, right? Was the attention from the club women not enough?”
“Honestly, at some point, I guess I really just backed away from that too. When everyone was partying, I was killing myself in the gym.”
“Like maybe you’ve been dealing with some disordered eating?” she asked. “Or exercise addiction?”
“Both, I think,” I admitted. “I didn’t really see how small I’d gotten until I started trying to film content. Cut, yes, but small. Too small, really.”
“I did notice that you look like you’ve put on some… bulk. But in a good way,” she said. “Should I be more… mindful about what you like to eat when we order?” she asked.
“No, baby,” I said, shaking my head. “If anything, I think you’ve been good for me. We get to talking, and it shuts up the inner monologue that would normally be cataloging macros and shit like that. It’s a good thing.”
Sure, I cared about how I looked. And I didn’t think there was anything wrong with that. But it was important to let my life have balance. Enjoy some cheesy, greasy food without overthinking it, then make sure I had something healthier the next time. Go to the gym because it made me feel and look good, but not fucking live there.
I mean, I hadn’t been to the gym in days. And I’d barely given it a thought.
I’d been enjoying the long, easy walks with Siana and Frida. It was still active. Just not as punishing.
“Oh, is this the range?” she asked, eyeing the sort of square area I’d built with my own two hands when I’d been prospecting.
I’d gone overboard with the backdrop, wanting several layers of protection, given how many women and children were always around.
There was a cinderblock wall in the back, then a wall of packed dirt and sand, and, finally, the railroad ties that were visible from where we were standing.
“Not what you were expecting?” I asked.
“I guess I was expecting something indoors,” she admitted. “Don’t you have to worry about the bullets out here?” she asked.
“Not if you build it properly. There are plenty of commercial outdoor ranges. You just have to put the work in to make it safe,” I told her as I led her over to the table. “You nervous?”
“A little,” she admitted as I pulled out the ear protection first—for her, I was used to it— then the gun.
“If you don’t like it, we can stop,” I said. “So, this is your gun,” I told her, handing it to her without a magazine first, wanting her to get a feel for it without worrying about shooting herself.
“It’s lighter than I would have thought,” she admitted.
“Because the bullets aren’t in it,” I told her as I moved behind her, reaching for her arms, then lifting the gun, showing her how to hold it, so she could aim somewhat accurately, but also keep steady. Sure, it was a small gun. The blowback was minimal. But it was hard to judge since I was so much larger than her. So, what felt like nothing to me could be a whole different beast to her.
“There’s no safety on this, so when you’re ready, you just slide your finger to the trigger, and pull. It will take a lot less pressure than you’re probably imagining,” I warned her. “So, don’t be surprised if it shoots before you think it will.”
I loaded the magazine, then slipped her ear protection on as she tried to line up her shot.
I stayed behind her.
Not because I technically needed to be there, but liking the excuse to be close.
“Okay,” she said, seeming to speak to herself and me before I watched her finger slide to the trigger, then pull.
More so than anything, I think it was the surprise of the noise, even with the headphones on, that made her jump and let out a cute as fuck little squeal.
