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“What about me?”
“Is there someone special in your life now?” She set the glass down on the table, watching amusement come to his eyes.
“Doing what we do? There isn’t a woman in the world that would wait on any of the three of us, considering we’re gone nine months out of every year. No, there’s no one special in my life, Sierra. It just wouldn’t work.”
She felt her heart squeeze for Mace. “I guess we’re just destined to be lonely,” she admitted, moving the glass slowly around in her hands.
“In our line of work, that pretty much says it all.”
“On some days, I find myself wishing…”
“For what?”
She gave Mace a wry look. “Oh, you’ll laugh, Kilmer.”
He shook his head. “Try me?”
“If you laugh—”
“I won’t.”
She regarded him for a moment. “Okay, so here goes. Of late, I’ve found myself wanting to just have a real life. I’m twenty-eight. I love children. I want a family someday. My biological clock is ticking. My mother is ruthless about reminding me she’d like grandchildren,” and she grinned a little over that thought.
“So? You want to settle down. Get married. Have kids. That’s nothing to laugh at, Sierra.”
It felt good to hear the low growl in Mace’s voice, hear the honesty in it. “Thanks for not laughing.”
“You’ll never find someone. Not doing this job.”
She laughed a little. “I found Jeb.”
“True,” Mace said.
Sierra thought about Mace. Thought about how she felt toward him, the tendrils of needing him growing daily more and more strongly in her heart for the grizzled, scarred warrior. He was a good man. But he was on a mission. A mission of revenge, to account for how drugs had torn up his family. And she knew him well enough, she thought, to know he was like a pit bull. Once Mace decided to do something, he did it. He never let go until it was complete. “I don’t see how you can handle being out here for three years in a row, Mace. It has to be wearing on you. On Cale and Nate.”
He shrugged. “We got three months back in the States. It works for us.”
“But… aren’t your lonely? I mean, is it so wrong to have a real life?” and she searched his hard face.
He finished off his beer and set it aside. “There’s days,” he admitted hesitantly, “that I ask myself what the hell I’m doing out here in this green hell. On other days, I know I’m needed, and I can’t tear myself away from it. Our three teams stand between the Indians and those Russian bastards. If we left, Sierra, they’d be completely at their mercy. At least we do some good down here and that counts in my book.”
“And Cale and Nate have always been with you?”
“Yeah, we’re a team.”
“Don’t they want a life?”
“I don’t know. We’ve never discussed it.”
Snorting, Sierra said, “Men! You guys are so afraid of touchy-feely emotional subjects. It kills me.”
He grinned a little and shrugged his broad shoulders. “It just isn’t in us, Sweetheart. That’s all.”
Sierra gave him a dirty look, her heart swelling over his endearment. Every time he called her that, his voice became warmer, as if he were physically caressing her. “That’s not true. I’ve been saving most of the money I’ve earned. I’ve bought a nice cabin in the woods outside of Alexandria, Virginia. The rest is in savings.” And then she added, “I don’t like being alone. I had a taste of what it could be with the right man. I guess… I guess I’m thinking that I don’t want to live the rest of my life being a sniper…”
And now, Mace knew why she stepped away from him. Her heart couldn’t take the loss of someone she’d fallen in love with again. She could see him almost thinking about the Scrabble game, the wager of a kiss. Sierra wasn’t sure about anything with him right now. There was just so much to lose. Surely, he saw that. She did. Jeb had worn her down over time. Like all snipers, he’d been patient, and he hadn’t pushed her.
Last night, Mace had controlled himself. He’d respected her needs. But his warning rang in her head and heart. He was just like Jeb. Even though he might not be a sniper, he had the patience of one. She’d seen that trait in him from the gitgo. And, from the way he’d studied her in the thickening silence stringing out between them last night, Sierra knew that he wasn’t going to give up. He wanted her.
