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Our current situation didn’t seem likely to send the line on my graph shooting up anytime soon. Life had conspired against my vagina. My graph would be flat as a pancake until I left Elmer. On that depressing thought, I needed another beer.
“That’s fine, honey. We can talk about my sex life instead.” Wanda pressed a fluttering hand to her chest.
“Melvin, that rascal.” The mayor leaned close to hear all the juicy details. The bar cat curled in her lap.
“Are they talking about the Melvin with the white beard who guessed my shoe size at the BBQ?” I whispered to Cameron.
“Yeah. He and Wanda are the hot new couple in Elmer. It’s kind of cute.”
“I can see him and Wanda together. He’s a great dancer.”
“And he guessed your foot size right, didn’t he?”
“Nailed it. Told me he had a pair of boots waiting for me in his shop. He’s quite the salesman.” I needed to find his store. My wardrobe of city-slicker shoes weren’t taking to ranch living well. The cute pink ballet flats I had on had started turning rust-colored from the Texas dust. And my trendy white canvas sneakers had already gone for a spin in the washing machine.
“He is famous for matching customers with the perfect boots and separating them from their money.” Cameron split the last of the beer in the pitcher between our glasses.
“Used boots. How much do they cost?” On stage, the band had launched into a song, and I had to shout a bit for Cameron to hear my question.
“Thousands.”
“Really. I’ll order something from the internet.” Not much call for boots in California wine country, or France.
“If you do, don’t tell Wilson. He’ll drag you to Melvin’s shop and force you to buy vintage. He is totally obsessed with his boots.”
“They are nice boots.” I’d noticed them the day I arrived; so not what I was accustomed to seeing my brother wearing. Gucci loafers, yes. Old boots with scuffed heels and a patina of age, no way.
“Wilson’s boots c’est magnifique.” Gabriel awkwardly pulled his leg from under the table to show us his boots. “Mine, not so much. This is what happens when you buy online.”
I grabbed Gabriel’s shoulder to keep him in his chair as he thrust his leg back beneath the table to hide his plastic-looking, mass-produced cowboy boots. The Frenchman was well on his way to getting drunk.
“But whooooo cares, we are going back to Napa, to Napa to Napa…” Gabriel sang.
“Easy there, LL Cool J. Until we sell a bunch of Texas wine, we’re—or rather I’m—not going anywhere.” I pressed a plastic cup of water into his hand.
“Let me ride your coattails, please.” He clung to my hand, spilling most of the water on the table.
“Drunk Gabriel forgets he has two more years on his contract with Blue Star,” Cameron shouted in my other ear.
“I promise not to steal him.” Wilson and Atley would kick my ass if they had to find a new winemaker.
Gabriel was sweet but delusional. There were no coattails he could ride. At this point, I barely had shirttails to cover my ass. But the excitement and cheerleading on my behalf was wonderful. A lot different from Atley’s resigned expression of bland acceptance when we all toasted to the success of The Stomp this afternoon.
A squeal of feedback made the entire bar cringe.
“Sorry!” On the stage, Lara held the band’s mic to her lips. “I’ll be quick. Tonight’s winner of Pub Trivia is Blue Star Ranch! Grab your free pitcher of Lone Star at the bar.” She hopped off the stage.
Around our table, we shared a round of high-fives and fist bumps to celebrate our victory. The boos from the table of artists were drowned out when the band launched into a new song. For a bunch of creatives, they were sore losers.
“Impressive showing, Rae, very impressive. How’s your math?” Amaryllis squeezed my shoulder from her place behind my chair.
“Basic…”
“That will have to do. Come to bunco, you can be my partner.”
“Sure. I’ve played before.” I shrugged; bunco was a perfectly good reason to hang with Amaryllis. Heck, helping her weed a garden or scrub pots and pans would work for me.
“Now I’m off to the ladies’ room, then home. I’ve got Elmer merch to pack up for shipment before I go to bed.” She moved around the table, giving us each a kiss on the cheek.
