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As she buckled herself into the front seat of Hank’s enormous car, Ada asked, ‘Where are we going for dinner?’ and Hank said, ‘Oh, somewhere very fancy,’ and winked at her, then said, ‘Popeye’s,’ and she said, ‘That’s chicken right?’ Hank pulled out of the driveway and said in a mock-offended voice, ‘Chicken? It’s so much more than chicken, it’s a southern institution!’ Then he said, ‘And your dad is going to hate all that grease but luckily Orion is still young enough for us to pull the baby card. I’ll tell him fried foods boost breastfeeding antibodies or something,’ and he smiled at her then turned his eyes back to the road.
Ada allowed herself, for a few minutes, to do the thing she had avoided doing since she arrived in Florida, and consider what her life would be like if she loved Hank and he loved her the way Gabby loved Hank and Hank loved Gabby. He was funny, Ada hadn’t expected that, and Gabby was funny when she was with him. They had this ongoing bit about the movie Scream that Ada didn’t really understand. At one point Gabby said, ‘I should have known Ada was bi when we were kids, she was way too into Drew Barrymore,’ and Hank said, ‘I’m a Neve man myself.’ So, also, his comfort with her queerness was more than she had expected. Overall, he was so much more than she had expected.
If Ada loved Hank and Hank loved Ada, she would move to Florida for him and cook with him in the big yellow house and swim while he worked because there would probably be nothing for her to do here. Or maybe she’d get a job in St Petersburg, become a shining star in the Sarasota arts community, a big fish with a cute accent in a small, supportive pond. And her hair would lighten and her freckles would come back and they would shower together at the end of a sweaty day. They would Skype her family back home and Gabby would look at the man on the screen and think, I wonder what it would be like if that man loved me and I loved him. And she would stay in Melbourne and she would be alone.
Ada wondered how she and Hank would meet – maybe he’d spot her in a bar on one of his business trips to London or, better, she would tour in a show to New York and he’d be in the audience. And everyone would agree they were an unlikely pair, the money man and the artistic girl, and Ada would wave her cocktail glass in the air and say, ‘It’s a tale as old as time! I’m Kirsten Dunst in that movie and he’s the grandad from Gilmore Girls!’ And Hank would smile indulgently at her and say, ‘I’m not that much older than you,’ and she’d say, ‘Oh, pour me another, you filthy old man,’ and she’d never have to pay rent again. But then there would be no Orion because any baby Ada had would be no Orion and that suckling, squalling, perfect infant was inevitable, Ada could see that.
Ada knew the fashionable thing to say was that she wasn’t interested in men like Hank but the acute truth of it was that they were not interested in her.
Ada asked Hank a few questions about growing up in Sarasota and he told her that he had mostly drifted through school with a few close friends – ‘I wish you could have met them but most of them have moved away’ – and then left for college planning never to come back. While he was away, his parents inherited the yellow house from a grandparent and told Hank it was his, clearly thinking it would persuade him back. ‘But it didn’t,’ he said, apologetically she thought, though she had no stake in the matter at all. ‘I moved to Chicago to be with my college girlfriend and rented it out. And when we broke up, I stayed in Chicago and then moved to New York when a job came up and then I met your sister.’
‘And now you’re back here,’ Ada said and Hank turned on the indicator and swung them into a line of waiting cars at the Popeye’s drive-thru.
‘And now I’m back here.’
Ada asked, ‘What happened with you and your college girlfriend? Sorry for the personal question but I’m like, really nosey, I’m sure Gabby told you,’ and Hank laughed and said, ‘She never mentioned that actually. But Madison and I broke up because I wanted to have kids and she didn’t. Well, I dunno, that was the reasoning at the time but I guess it turned out not to be true. We were together nine years and didn’t get married and now we’ve been apart five years and she’s married with two kids and I have one so I guess actually who knows why we broke up? But thank god we did.’
Ada didn’t know what to say to this so after a pause she said, ‘Are people really called Madison then? I thought that was like a joke name,’ and Hank said, ‘Oh yes, there are a lot of Madisons,’ and he said it with such an over the top drawl that Ada accepted him, forever. And then he said, ‘Are there really people called Crocodile where you’re from?’ and she stared at him before realising he was joking and then she said, ‘I actually dated a Crocodile,’ and then he stared at her until he realised she was joking and she saw a flash of decades of them being exactly like this together.
When they got to the window, Hank ordered what sounded like an immense amount of food and when they picked it up Ada was delighted to see that it was. She was hungry, starving suddenly, and Hank said to her, ‘Look in the bag for the popcorn shrimp, I got that as a little car snack. A reward for us hunter-gatherers.’ Ada pulled out the greasy paper bag and said, ‘Is this it?’ and Hank said, ‘Have you never had popcorn shrimp before?’ and they ate the whole bag in under a minute. It tasted like indulgence and love. Ada said to Hank, ‘We actually have a whole fried chicken culture in London too,’ and he said, ‘But this is Nashville fried chicken,’ and Ada said, ‘When I get rich I’m going on a fried-chicken-of-the-world tour. I’ll start in Korea.’ Then Ada laughed and Hank said, ‘What?’ and she said, ‘I forgot I’m vegetarian.’
They were about to turn into their street when Hank said, in a rehearsed sort of way, ‘It was really nice having you here. I think Gabby … she worried you wouldn’t want to come,’ and Ada felt annoyed that Gabby had intruded on their time. But there would be no time with Hank without Gabby and she said, ‘Why wouldn’t I want to come?’ Hank glanced her way then said, ‘Sure, that’s what I said,’ and she realised he knew everything. She wanted to redirect that knowledge, explain it all from her side, but she didn’t know what Gabby’s side was. There was a villain and a victim between them, Ada had always felt. And Hank had chosen villain, though maybe he didn’t believe that. And maybe it wasn’t like that really anyway, Ada told herself, but she knew her gut couldn’t follow her there.
They got into the house and Hank unloaded the food onto big aluminium platters. Hot chicken pieces and cajun-spiced fries, individual servings of mac and cheese and one coleslaw between them which was more than enough. Also biscuits, those savoury American scones that Ada had been ordering at diners and that she now dipped into gravy-covered mashed potato, letting the hot carb seep into the other hot carb and heat every part of her on the way down. She was surprised to see Hank eat like this and he said, ‘Oh no, you’ve seen through my classy disguise,’ and Gabby smiled at him and smiled at Ada.
Everyone sat down to serve themselves except Hank who started dumping ice in the blender and then free-poured tequila and an acid-coloured margarita mix in. ‘Start!’ he said to them as he poured out drinks for the women (Richard had sighed and said, ‘I’ll drive,’ as soon as the tequila appeared) and himself. Orion was sleeping in a soft sling on Gabby and as she picked up her lurid icy cocktail Ada took out her phone and took a photo. Gabby laughed and said, ‘Please submit that photo to the Mother of the Year awards,’ and Hank said, ‘I’d vote for you.’
As they ate and drank, Ada pretended to be a waiter at a fancy restaurant. ‘The tartness of the elegant drink pairs beautifully with the crisp spice of the carefully seasoned chicken,’ and Diana took a long sip of her drink and said, ‘Ah yes, a complementary pairing.’ Orion stirred but didn’t wake up and after Gabby finished eating she held up her hands and Hank dampened a paper towel and wiped them for her. And then Richard and Hank wound out the mosquito covers, Hank slightly pink in the face, and it was time to leave.
They all walked to the door and Diana and Richard headed out to the car to let their daughters say goodbye. Ada looked down at the sleeping Orion. ‘I wish I could hold him one more time,’ she said and Gabby said, ‘I don’t really want to wake him, sorry,’ and Ada said, ‘Duh of course, I wouldn’t expect you to. Let sleeping nephews lie.’ Hank hugged her, full body, and he smelled of grease and old sunscreen, the smell of every boy she dated in high school.
Ada turned to Gabby and wondered when she had last hugged her like that or if she ever had. Maybe when she was little like Orion her parents had laid her in Gabby’s arms and Gabby had felt an uncomplicated love for her. But more likely she had felt responsibility – don’t drop the baby – and maybe an urgency to get up and go play, do something more interesting than hold this puking pale blob that had moved into her house.
Ada couldn’t hug Gabby like that now, anyway, because of the sling on her front, and it was a relief. She put an arm around her big sister’s shoulders and squeezed slightly, from the side. Gabby said, ‘Thank you for being here and for doing so much cooking and everything. It really helped. I don’t know what I’ll do when you’re all gone and Hank’s back at work,’ and Ada said, ‘Popeye’s every night?’ and Gabby said, ‘Not a bad plan.’ Ada touched the tip of her index finger to Orion’s soft head and said, ‘Goodbye, little guy, I don’t know when I’ll see you again,’ and Gabby said, ‘Maybe back in Sydney?’ And Ada said, ‘Maybe,’ and then, ‘OK, I’ll leave you to your long baby night.’
She squeezed Gabby one more time and Gabby said, ‘Have a safe flight,’ and Ada crossed the lawn. When she got to the car she turned back and waved goodbye to her softened sister and the tiny centre of her world and her large, American almost brother-in-law. And Hank called out, ‘Safe flight, Ada! Love you!’ like it was an easy thing to say. And Diana stuck her head out the window and said, ‘We’ll be back tomorrow after we take Ada to the airport,’ and Gabby said, ‘OK, thanks Mum, see you then,’ and she closed the door and they pulled away.
Back at the house Ada packed, a light buzz from the margaritas easing the process along. She had washed her jumpsuit on the first day and would be wearing it home and she looked at her rumpled, sweaty sundresses crushed into her bag and knew that it was over. Tomorrow she was going home. She thought about talking to Stuart about it but she felt too tired to explain so she sent him a selfie lying next to her open suitcase and a plane emoji and then she went back out to her mum.
THIRTY-FOUR
02/10/2017
Ada Highfield
19:11
I’m at Gatwick! Back on British soil!
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