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Mel looked at her quickly to make sure she was joking and said, ‘They don’t want to take all their alcohol with them to the next place so it’s a drink-up-the-booze party mainly.’
Ada pretended to be amazed. ‘Wow, imagine booze lasting long enough in the house that you need help drinking it. How the other half lives, I guess.’
Mel shifted away from her and said, ‘Look, you didn’t have to come. You don’t have to hang out with my friends at all.’ Mel pressed the buzzer and then Ada took her hand.
‘Not hang out with my dear wife’s friends? What would the boys at the office think about that,’ and Mel laughed but Ada could tell she was anxious. Ada asked, ‘Why are they doing this on a Thursday?’ and Mel said, ‘Probably to keep it low-key. And it’s Wednesday,’ and Ada had more questions but kept them to herself.
Mel had invited Sadie to come with them tonight but Sadie had said she needed to work. They’d left her sitting at the kitchen bench with her iPad open to a script and her notebook next to her and the kettle boiling. Ada had been annoyed at Mel for inviting her then annoyed at Sadie for declining, for working into the night when she could have been out with them.
They were buzzed in and as Ada opened the door she asked, ‘And Paul’s wife is called …’ and Mel said, ‘My god Ada, you’ve only met her fifty times, it’s Claire,’ and Ada said, ‘Of course, I’m sorry.’ When they were let into the flat, Ada headed straight to Claire in the kitchen to hug her and thank her for the invitation. She turned and gave Mel a thumbs up but Mel just shook her head and looked away. The couple’s extensive liquor cabinet had been laid out on the kitchen bench and for the next two hours Ada declared herself the bartender and mixed drinks for everyone at the party according to their vibe – that’s what she said: she didn’t take orders, she just ‘read vibes’, and everyone seemed to like that except Mel who she didn’t see the whole time.
Ada was sitting up on the bench drinking a peppermint schnapps and vodka when a tall, impossibly fair man – his hair, his face, his eyes, all milky – entered and leaned over her.
‘I hear you’re the drinks witch,’ and the word ‘witch’ combined with the Eton tone made her clench her fists.
She didn’t move but politely said, ‘You’re going to need to take like three steps back,’ and he laughed and straightened up and walked backwards.
‘One … two … and three. So what do you have for me?’
Ada scanned the depleted supply next to her and said, ‘I think I’ll make you … the Posh Cunt.’
He smiled at her and steadied himself against the fridge. ‘What’s in that then?’
Ada picked up port, sloe gin and ginger ale and mixed them roughly together. He reached out to take the cup but she pulled it back.
‘Not … quite done.’ She stuck her index finger in her mouth and swirled it around then took it out and stuck it into his cup. Then she handed it to him and without breaking eye contact he drank it in one go.
‘Ah, the taste of home.’
Ada jumped off the bench and found Mel sitting in the living room with their bags, talking to a man with plain clothes and trendy glasses. Mel said, ‘Ada, this is Will! He works with me and Paul. Ada’s my housemate, she was a friend of a friend and then,’ and Mel told their story to Will while Ada waited for a break.
When it eventually came, she knelt down to get her bag from beside the couch and said, ‘I’m so sorry to be rude and Will, please don’t take this personally, you seem lovely and I honestly love your glasses so much but I’m experiencing a small heartbreak at the moment and I have to go home and lie in the dark sadly.’
Will said, ‘That doesn’t sound like a small heartbreak,’ and Mel said, ‘He still hasn’t messaged huh,’ and Ada pulled her phone out of her bra and said, ‘No, I’ve been checking every five minutes because I’m a total psycho, it’s been like thirty hours or something.’ Will nodded and didn’t say that thirty hours wasn’t that long and Ada filed it away in the ‘pro’ column. Mel tried to leave with her but Ada said to stay and she clattered down the stairs, into the night, onto the Overground, all the way home. Sadie was sleeping and she didn’t stir even when Ada put her hand in her hair.
Ada woke up the next day to Sadie lazily stroking her back and she wriggled her hips backwards until they were wedged tightly together. They were both naked, they were always naked in bed, and Sadie propped herself up slightly and ran her hand down Ada’s side before reaching over and down and then up up up. Her other hand held the back of Ada’s neck, steadying herself and trapping Ada and Ada felt she’d be trapped by her forever, she’d feel the weight of Sadie on her forever, she’d never turn around, never look into her face, just feel her pinning and pushing.
Ada felt coveted and stolen and when Sadie eventually flipped her over she felt a rush of thrilling shame. They hadn’t spoken yet this morning and they hadn’t seen each other last night and they were strangers sharing a bed and Sadie looked flushed and kind of furious. She held up a hand as if to say ‘stay’ and Ada nodded and Sadie lay that hand on Ada’s forehead as she lowered herself onto her face. Ada lost herself and Stuart was lost to her too and later when Sadie was dressing – she wasn’t going anywhere today, a quiet day in, but she put on jeans just the same – Ada started to cry.
Sadie sat next to her and took her hand and Ada said, ‘I’m not crying for bad reasons, I just feel … I think I’m overwhelmed,’ and Sadie said, ‘It’s OK, I hope I didn’t—’ and Ada said, ‘No, god, no, I didn’t want it to ever end, I don’t want you to think—’ and Sadie said, ‘I can go out if you need some space?’ But Ada pulled back her hand and wiped her eyes because she had somewhere to be today and going out while Sadie stayed in felt like a victory. She was meeting her friend Ben in Tooting because he’d gone flat broke at the Fringe this year and had moved back in with his parents until, as he put it, ‘Someone starts paying me to be stunning.’ They were meeting up to smoke weed and lie in his local park but she said to Sadie, ‘We’re actually going to discuss a project for us to do together. He’s an actor … maybe something for the Fringe next year?’ and Sadie said, ‘That sounds great, I know you’ve been looking for a project,’ and Ada wasn’t sure what that meant exactly but she agreed.
She pulled on a bra and a blue velvet baby-doll dress because lying in a park getting high felt like the nineties to her and then she dug through her underwear drawer. She paused then walked to Sadie’s bag, opened it and pulled out a plain black pair of briefs. She pulled them on, turned to look at Sadie who smiled and said, ‘Have fun,’ and then picked up her book.
Later, on the tube, Ada shifted in her seat and felt the tag of Sadie’s underwear rub against her lower back and felt nauseous so she turned up the podcast about Trump’s border policy playing in her ears to drown out any other sensation. Her carriage had filled gradually before emptying at Leicester Square, families with northern accents and young people with accents like hers pouring out for their Day In Town. Ada cultivated her messy, bored look so as to differentiate herself from the tourist hordes, wondering if her skin gave away a childhood spent in the sun rather than under London skies. Still, it didn’t matter when she’d got here. This was her city. Not Sadie’s. Sadie was her guest.
As the tube paused at Leicester Square, the wifi kicked in and Ada’s phone vibrated in her hand. In the drop of time between then and the moment she looked at her screen all of her possible futures with Stuart flooded her system. His hands, his mouth moving in front of her, his mouth moving on her, a fight, a recovery, a hangover, him learning to braid her hair – but it was an email from her mother, who already knew how to braid her hair.
•••
Hi Baby,
I have such exciting news! Your sister called last night and she’s changed her mind. She wants all of us there to meet her little bubba as soon as possible! Your father and I are over the moon, waiting until Chrissie would have been torture. Now the flights are obviously very expensive on such short notice and your sister was so apologetic about that and then the craziest thing happened. Her lovely man Hank jumped on the call and said he was paying for all our tickets! I told him absolutely not, we wouldn’t stand for it and we bargained him down to splitting the cost, but your sister said of course that we couldn’t expect you to buy yours so Hank said he’d do it and you’re not to argue. He seems so happy to do it! I can’t wait to meet him in person, such a lovely man, such a change for your sister! Anyway, we’re arriving 20 September, two days before the little one is due, so try to come in at the same time? How long do you think you can get off work? Anyway, I’ll pop Hank’s email at the bottom here, do get in touch as soon as you get this. What a wonderful surprise for us all! Florida!
Love you, Baby,
Mama x
•••
