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Buzz, buzz.
I should be used to that sound by now, my phone vibrating with more notifications, but I don’t think it’s something I will ever adjust to. Not when it’s all hate. Not when it’s all vitriol against me. Another dagger in my heart.
I suppose it could be Chad or someone from work. I have no idea where I stand when it comes to my job at the moment, and I don’t know if I want to know. Maybe the job I hoped would elevate my career is actually going to be the job that destroys absolutely everything. At this point, I don’t think I could even stomach going back into that office with Rich and Jace. Luckily, I don’t think I’m invited to be there.
Should I go back to Cold Springs? Yeah, maybe, at least for a little while.
***
I slowly move to the window, watching the buzzing of the city underneath. IknowI shouldn’t just sit here; I’m well aware that I need to make a move one way or another.
Yet I’m frozen.
The fear has me fixed on the spot.
And that’s how I could quite easily stay, but I know my fridge is empty. I know I don’t have anything left to eat, and despite the current sickness swirling all the way through me, my tummy is growling. It’s incredibly annoying.
It’s getting to the point where I know I can’t hold off any longer. This city might be the twenty-four-hour city that never sleeps and nothing ever closes, but I don’t want to go out on my own too late.
Not when I’m already paranoid and fearing that I’m in danger.
“Come on, Riley,” I whisper in something of a pep talk as I slowly rise to my feet. “You can do this. The store isright there.You can see it, even from here.”
That might be true, but that definitely doesn’t stop the ice-cold terror from freezing my veins. It doesn’t stop my heart from hammering so hard against my rib cage that I fear it might explode free at any given moment.
But I have to do it, not just for the food, but for my independence. If I let myself stay inside, despite my basic needs not being met, then I might never leave.
Then I’ll be inrealtrouble.
“Don’t let the keyboard warriors win,” I whisper harshly, but I don’t truly feel any confidence inside.
This must be what it feels like to be famous. No wonder Alex has always hated the media’s intrusion in his life. I can see where those feelings come from now.
That’s why I have to keep fighting this.
That’s why I need to do this.
I will only be in the limelight for a while, even if it doesn’t feel like it right now. There’s no way this can last forever. So, leading a normal life is essential to me.
That doesn’t stop me from straightening up a little before I leave my home. I don’t need to be glamorous; I’m sure as hell not trying to get photographed, but if thereissomeone waiting to pounce on me at any given moment, then I don’t want to be totally scruffy.
My heart hurts as I step outside the door. There’s a lump in my throat, which I can hardly breathe through, but much to my relief, there isn’t anyone there. There’s no one in sight anyway, but that doesn’t mean I’m completely alone.
I fold my arms protectively across my chest and keep my head down as I walk. It might be a short journey to the grocery store, but with the hairs on the back of my neck standing on edge and goosebumps all over my skin, it feels like the longest walk in the world.
I canfeelsomeone watching me; I can sense eyes all over me; this might be the worst that I have ever felt in my whole life.
The harsh luminescent lighting of the store doesn’t help anything. It also doesn’t help that there are a lot of people in the store, all of whom could potentially be the people attacking me online.
Are people whispering? Or am I making this up in my head?
It doesn’t really matter. I need to get out of here as fast as I can.
I barely even pay attention as I throw things in the shopping basket. I hope I’m getting enough to survive the next few days, but I can’t really get my brain into gear. It’s like I’m in a daze, just trying to get through everything. The sooner I get out of here, the better.
“Huh?” I suddenly realize that the guy behind the counter is staring at me, and his mouth is moving, too. He’s definitely talking to me, and I’m not responding. Shit.
“I said, did you find everything you needed today?”
