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My voice is weak. I hate how it makes me sound pathetic. I’ve never really stood up to Chad as much as I would like to, but this has to be the worst I’ve ever done. Just as I need the most strength so I can hold my head up high, I fall apart.
“You are?” Chad frowns at me, still looking at me like I’ve grown an extra head. “Of course. Okay, get back to your desk. I will see what I can find for you to write about.”
Oh God, I don’t know what’s going to happen next, but I suppose the hardest part is done, right? Announcing that I’m back to work—that’s the worst bit. I’m sure it’ll all be easy from here on out.
I keep my eyes fixed on the floor as I walk, though, trying to act like all the whispering going on around me isn’t about me. I mean, it might not be. Not everyone is interested in me, surely. They’re probably just working, focusing on whatever story they need to be thinking of right now. I’m sure it’ll be fine…
“Holy shit.” But then Jace’s voice ricochets all the way through me, making me cringe. Ugh, why does he have to be here today? That’s just bullshit. I could use some settling-in time without the assholes here. “You’re back. I thought you were gone forever.”
“Ha ha, fuck, did your little gold-digger plan not work out for you?” Rich joins in, as disgusting as ever. “I thought you were going to try to marry Alex Barrett so you’d never have to work again. That’s what every woman wants, right? You should have gotten yourself pregnant. Then he wouldn’t have any choice in the matter.”
A bitter ball of bile sits in the base of my throat. I amnotgoing to mention anything that’s really going on in my life, even if they’ll find out soon enough.
Shit, I don’t even want tothinkabout the so-called jokes I’ll face.
“I guess he dumped your ass, huh?” Rich continues, poking me, trying his hardest to get a reaction out of me. “That’s a shame. But I can see why. I mean, Alex Barrett must have models throwing themselves at him. Why would he choose you?”
“It’s gonna be hard for you to be back here, right?” Jace joins in, not caring about the fact that I clearly don’t need this shit. “Among us mere mortals. Although you’re going to have to remember that we rule this room. We always have, and we always will. Just because you fucked Alex Barrett to get a story out of him doesn’t make you anything.”
Hell, is this really what I want for the rest of my life?
I slide my eyes closed and try to catch my breath. I try to block them out. I used to be able to, some of the time. They didn’talwaysget under my skin, but now…
Now, I don’t know if I want to walk in the same shoes as Chad, Rich, and Jace. This shouldn’t be a ‘man’s world.’ I hate the way it is, but I don’t know if I want to fight it forever. Knowing that I’m going to have a baby soon changes my priorities and makes me view the world a lot differently.
Do I want to have to fight forever, or do I want to enjoy my life?
I’m really thinking that it might be time for me to find some joy, to seek out what makes me happy. I love sports, and I have enjoyed following in my father’s footsteps, but everyone else has been telling me that I don’t have to do exactly what he did to make him proud. I can make my own way in life.
There must besomethingI can do that’s just for me.
“Give it up,” I shoot back to the guys while rolling my eyes. I’m hoping that acting confident will at least give them the impression that I really don’t care what they’re saying to me, even if it does cut deep. “I’m not in the mood to listen to you both.”
I watch them exchange a look before Jace glares at me once more. “Well, maybe we weren’t in the mood to pick up your slack when you were gone. Did you ever think about that?”
“Since you don’t want me here, I’m sure you were just fine.”
“Chad didn’t even worry about you when you weren’t here,” Rich jumps in. “Because he doesn’t want you here either. Don’t you get that? Didn’t you get the hint that maybe you just aren’t wanted by any of us? I don’t know why you bothered to return.”
“Should I go and ask him, Rich? See what he says to my face?”
Rich gives me nothing. He folds his arms across his chest and continues to stare at me, challenging me. I rise to my feet. I’m not going to back down over this, especially when I don’t even know if this is where I want to be anymore.
I stalk off, heading to Chad’s office. Again, my heart is absolutely thundering in my ears. My blood runs so fast and hot around my body that I don’t know if I can stomach it. I bang onthe office door, not sure if he’s there, but I’m going to speak to him.
If I’m really going to come back here, then I need it to be a decent working environment. I need it to be better for me. I’ve struggled under the weight of this for a very long time, and I don’t want to take it anymore. If I’m going to remain here, then Chad needs to treat me like a human being, and he has to ensure that everyone else does too.
I bet my father used to treat everyone well; I can’t imagine him acting like Jace and Rich. He was good to everyone.
Chad doesn’t answer so I bang again. Now I’m positive everyone is staring at me, whispering about me too, but I don’t give a shit anymore. The way that things are going, I’m going to end up walking out of here just as dramatically as when I walked back in.
“Oh… Riley.” Chad is behind me. I hate that look on his face. He’s staring at me like he doesn’t want to deal with me, like I’m some silly little problem that’s only there to get on his nerves. “Do you need something? I’m just…”
“I want to talk to you. Now.” I insist. I amnotgoing to be ignored here. “This can’t wait. I’m not going to be able to get back to work when things are like this.”
Chad’s eyes dart around the room. Knowing that everyone is watching us clearly isn’t what he wants, so he sighs and lets me in his office. Once we’re alone, the atmosphere changes. There’s a strange tension clinging to the air, making it harder for me to breathe.
“What’s going on, Riley?”
