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My body stiffens as if preparing itself for a war I’m not yet privy to. My gaze narrows in on them both, breath quickening when I witness how Nico gazes down at Romeo with a softness and awe I have never seen from him before. Tears prick my eyes at the knowledge that I have denied him the privilege of being a father for the first months of our son’s life. Though I never had a choice in the matter, I am a paradox of emotion and what ifs. I shake my head, knowing that I need to pull myself together before I completely fall apart. That is one thing I cannot allow, despite how I am feeling.
As if Nico can sense me watching him, his head lifts, cocking to the side when those blue orbs lock on me and pinning me in place. For a split second, I don’t see the resentment or betrayal that I’ve become accustomed to staring back at me and my body relaxes. The tight ball of tension, that has been within me from the moment I saw Nico again, leaves me and before I can stop myself, a timid smile curves my lips.
Nico’s eyes narrow in suspicion, and he studies me for a long beat, no doubt looking for any sign that my grin is insincere. When all he finds is sincerity, I think he may return my smile but then, as if he thinks better of it, he turns away, giving me his back. My face falls, shoulders sag. It would make life so much easier for both of us if we can be civil, and me extending a smile toward him was my way of waving a white flag of sorts. This situation is hard enough as it is, it will be better for Romeo if we get along – though Nico seems to have other plans. Figures.
Swallowing, I look away, startling when I find that I am no longer alone. “Jesus, you scared me.”
Allegra grins, stepping closer. Her gaze shifts to the window, then back to me. “I never thought I would see the day.” My brows furrow in confusion at her words. “Nico as a father,” she clarifies.
Snorting a laugh, I stare at her in disbelief. I don’t mean to be rude but come on. Surely, he will have children with his wife one day. Though, I do have to wonder why I have never seen her, or why no one mentions her in this house. It’s like she is a ghost. Or perhaps Nico has ordered everyone, including his mother and sister, to keep their mouths shut and not talk about her in front of me. For all I know, he could have the woman he loves, the woman he deemed good enough to marry, holed up in another wing of this ridiculously sized mansion. Maybe he visits her for sex when the mood strikes him, while I am oblivious and naïvely think he sleeps in the room next to me every night.
Every time I even bring her up, he just smirks, shutting the conversation down before I can ask him more. My guess is he doesn’t want to discuss his wife with his baby mama. Shaking my head, I try to rid it of my errant thoughts as an emotion I don’t even want to decipher right now surges in my veins. I shove it down before it takes life in my mind, and I go down another rabbit hole of questions. At this rate, I am going to go crazy by the time the week is out.
Shaking my head, I try to rationalize my thoughts. Of course, everything is subjective. Until I find out the truth, or concrete evidence, I don’t know anything for sure. I could ask Allegra, but I don’t want to bring her into our mess or put her in an awkward position with her brother.
Plastering on a smile, I murmur. “I’m sure he will have a brood of heirs someday.”
A knowing smirk tips her lips before she covers it. “I think we should get to know one another better.” Her quick change of subject gives me whiplash, but I need all the allies I can get in this place, so it’s a no brainer. And anyway, I want to get to know Allegra and Valentina more. After all, I am living with them, and they have both been so lovely toward me since I have been here.
“That would be nice,” I say honestly, before taking a seat on the big plush leather couch.
Her eyes light up with happiness, but it’s in that moment I see something else. Loneliness. Sadness. I have no idea what it was like for her growing up in a powerful mafia family, but without her even telling me, I can tell that her life is completely different to Nico’s. “You look like you are going stir crazy and it’s only been a couple of days,” she muses, and I frown. She chuckles, shaking her head. “I know what it’s like being kept a prisoner here,” she says, confirming my thoughts about her upbringing. She sighs. “It’s not much, but I will speak with my brother about allowing us to go shopping in town. We will have a team of guards, of course.” She rolls her eyes. “But at least it will get us out of the house, have a change of scenery. Even if only for a couple of hours.”
I smile, grateful at her attempts to make me feel better about my situation. “I’ve never been one to shop, but maybe we could check out some dance studios?”
“You’re a dancer?”
I nod. “Ballet.” My cheeks heat in embarrassment. Not that I have anything to be embarrassed about, but I do feel a little mortified telling her this. “Though I met Nico when I worked at his club.”
Understanding crosses her features, a breathy laugh leaving her lips. “The Executive Club? The high-end gentleman only club?”
“The one and only,” I admit.
“So, you were a stripper?” There’s no malice or condescension to her question, just curiosity.
I sigh, “I was...” I trail off, thinking about how much I should tell her. I don’t have anything to hide, so I continue. “Well, I was until Nico fired me. He then gave me a job atBellissima,which I loved, but dancing is in my veins.”I wring my hands together, nibbling my lip as I watch for any judgment, but it doesn’t come.“I know it’s something that many look down on, but with stripping I was able to earn enough to afford to live and eat in New York.”
Dropping down beside me, she takes my hand, giving it a gentle squeeze. “There’s no shame in doing what you need to do in order to survive, Ocean. I would do the same if I had to.”
I open my mouth to reply, only to clamp it shut when a deep masculine voice growls. “There is no fucking scenario I can think of in which I would allow you to take your clothes off for a living,princepessa.”
Both of our heads snap up to find Dante, his gaze fixated on Allegra, as he saunters into the room with so much swagger it should be illegal. I watch him with curiosity as his eyes rake over every inch of her. The love and hunger in his dark orbs have me wanting to turn away. I suddenly feel that I am intruding on something personal. Something that is theirs and theirs alone. I stare, somewhat transfixed by the open display of affection between them. A boulder lodges in my throat and I swallow, emotion slamming into me. I want someone to look at me the way Dante looks at Allegra.
The sound of the glass door sliding open has my attention shifting in that direction. Nico enters the lounge with Romeo securely in his arms. Wanting to move away from the palpable bubble of love radiating from Dante and Allegra, I push off the couch, rushing toward my son.
“Hey, baby,” I coo, reaching out to take him. I’m a little shocked when Nico hands him right over to me, until I get a whiff of the diaper that needs changing. I scowl at him, though he can’t see it.
“Nic,” Allegra calls, and I guess she has finished whatever silent conversation she was having with Dante. “Ocean and I would like to go shopping.” She steps up beside us.
Nico stiffens, glancing at me then back to his sister. He is quiet for a minute and I think he will deny her, but then he speaks. “I can arrange for my men to take you, but it might be later in the week. I have some things to take care of first.”
Allegra chuckles, shoulder checking her brother. Nico shoves her back playfully. I watch them curiously, fascinated by how Nico seems almost…normal? I don’t know what I expected from their relationship, but it wasn’t this. He is not a Don right now. He is just a brother. One that I can tell loves his sister dearly… unlike mine. I shake the thought away.
As if remembering who he is and that I am standing here, he clears his throat. “I have business to attend to. Let’s go, Dante.” His tone leaves no room for argument and without another word, both men leave the room.
***
The next day, I’m told by Nico that we have a formal dinner this evening and to dress accordingly for our guests. I asked him why he was asking me to join him and not his wife, but he completely shut me down, so maybe she will be joining him after all. I feel sick at the thought, and everything inside me screams at me not to go, but Nico assured me there would be consequences if I don’t attend, so I don’t fight him on it further.
