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Ocean

“So, about that date?” Harrison grins as he watches me wipe down the counter. His soft, gentle, whiskey-colored eyes twinkle, vibrant and full of life and hope.

I smile despite myself. I’m back at the diner, my first shift since I gave birth to Romeo. Patty insisted that I didn’t need to come back to work, but I want to pay my way and earn money. If it weren’t for Patty offering to look after my son, I would not have come back so soon after giving birth. Though I have been breast feeding, I have been gradually weaning him off the breast and expressing milk. Being the good boy that he is, he took to the bottles straight away, even better than he ever took to my breast. It’s worked out perfectly, really. He is still getting the nutrients from my milk, but I can also spend a couple hours away from him when I am at the diner.

Laughing under my breath, I shake my head at his perseverance. I turn to face him fully, a wide, playful, smile curving my lips. “You’re not going to give up, are you?”

He chuckles, shaking his head. “No. Not until you agree to a date. How about next Saturday? I already spoke to Patty, and she is okay with watching Romeo.”

My smile drops and I frown. I should be pissed that he has gone behind my back and arranged for Patty to watch my son, but Harrison is just too nice to be mad at. I know his intention isn’t to be pushy or forward, he is just determined in his pursuit of me. But in a different way to how Nico was. Though I can’t help but compare men to Nico and his behavior, Harrison isn’t my ex, not even close. They couldn’t be more different. Nico steamrolled into my life with every intention of taking away my independence so he could control me as he saw fit. But this is Harrison. Sweet, kind, and hot in a way that would make most women drop to their knees. But I’m not most women. I know what it feels like to be with a man like Nico Marchetti, and though I know he is no good for me, know that I need to stay far, far, away from him, deep down, I know I can’t just switch off my feelings for him. I was in love with him.Stilllove him. He is the father of my child. The man I gave my virginity and trust to. And even though he broke it, even though he was controlling and bossy, I know in my heart, it will always be Nico.

I know I’m not innocent in all that happened. I had my own secrets and lied by omission many times. But I didn’t do those things because I was being devious or trying to hurt him. I kept my secrets to keep myself safe. To keephimsafe. Though, I know now that was not warranted. Nico is a mafia heir, with most likely more men and resources at his disposal than my father would ever have.

My jaw clenches, anger surging through my veins that he kept that hidden. That he lied about who he was. That he wasengaged. He made me a side piece without me even knowing what I was getting myself into. These were not little white lies; it was deception of the worst kind. Surely, no woman with respect for themselves would have been okay with what he did, or stayed with him after finding out about his deceit.

“Well?” Harrisons prompts, snapping me from my reverie.

I startle, my eyes locking on his. He searches my face, a concerned frown on his. Sighing, I lean my elbows down on the counter, forcing a smile to put him at ease. Though I know I will always love Nico, despite his many transgressions, I also realize that I can never be with him. Maybe Patty is right, and it is time to move on. Even though I can never give myself to someone else fully or tell them the full truth of who I am, or who Romeo’s father is, I can’t wallow in the memories of what could have been forever.

Harrison would be good for me after all the drama and intensity of being with someone like Nico. He is calm, tender, and I know he would look after both me and Romeo. With that in mind and before I can think any more about it, I tell him what he wants to hear. “Saturday night will be perfect.” I bite down on my lip, suddenly feeling shy.

His eyes widen in shock, mouth dropping open in disbelief. He expected a no, just like all the other times. He quickly recovers, the biggest smile I have ever seen him wear taking over his whole face. “Really?”

I laugh with a nod. “Really.”

His eyes light up with pure happiness. My chest tightens and had I known this would have been his response, maybe I would have given in sooner. Harrison, more than anyone, deserves to be happy, and if going on a date with me achieves that, then I can give it to him. “This is going to be the best date you have ever had. You won’t regret this, Lyra,” he murmurs, excitement lacing every word.

I cringe at the use of another fake name before covering it with a smile. Maybe Harrison doesn’t make my stomach flutter, or my blood burn with intense passion whenever he is near. But perhaps that’s a good thing. The thing between me and Nico was powerful, extreme, and toxic. And now that I’m out of it, I can see how destructive it could have been had it carried on. I became someone I swore that I would never be while I was with him. The needy, insecure girl, vying for his attention. I don’t feel the need to be that girl with Harrison. I feel… calm. And yes, you need a certain amount of spark to be with someone, but not the whole damn fire. Nico was the fire. The inferno ready to burn me at any time.

I may have a steady, relaxed flame around Harrison, but I’m good with that. In my nineteen years on this earth, I’ve had enough fireworks to last me a lifetime. It’s time for peaceful and easy going.

Meeting his gaze, I can’t help but bask in the happiness he exudes. I grin, determination flowing through me.

Harrison is exactly what I need.

***

“How’s my baby boy?” I coo, taking Romeo out of Patty’s arms.

After finishing my shift at the diner, Malcolm, one of the cooks, offered to give me a ride home. It’s only just past six p.m. but I wanted to get back to give my son a bath and put him to bed. Rocking him in my arms, my throat tightens when his eyes lock on mine. I have only been away a couple of hours, but mom guilt is hitting hard.

“He’s been so good for Grandma Patty.” She gently tickles his belly before glancing at me. “How was your shift?”

“It was good. I missed him, but it was nice to get back to work,” I admit.

She smiles. “That’s good to hear. Now go and get Romeo bathed and settled. I’ve put a chili on for dinner. I thought we could sit on the porch while we eat?”

“Sounds great.” I smile my appreciation, suddenly feeling very emotional.

Patty has been more of a mother figure to me than my own mom ever was. Her kindness toward me can be overwhelming sometimes. For the past year and a half, life has been more than crazy. To have some normality, someone looking out for me without wanting anything in return, it proves there are good people in the world without hidden agendas. A tear slips down my cheek. I wipe it away, hoping Patty doesn’t see, but she does. Of course, she does. Not only is she intuitive but she is also very perceptive.

Sighing, she takes my hand, giving me a comforting squeeze. “Everything will be okay, child. You have me. You have your son.” She chuckles. “And I’m pretty sure you could have Harrison, if you gave him a chance.” There is humor in her soulful eyes, but her look is pointed.

I laugh, shaking my head. “About that? We are going out on Saturday. I know he already asked you to watch Romeo…” I trail off, narrowing my eyes playfully at her. Patty knows full well that she has been playing matchmaker.

Holding her hands up in mock surrender, she grins from ear to ear. “It’s about damn time. Now go get that beautiful baby boy cleaned up, fed, and put to bed. Dinner will be an hour.” With one last smile, she shuffles down the hall and toward the kitchen.

Looking down at Romeo, I run a finger down his soft cheek. My heart expands with so much love for him. My chest blooming, only to crack when I notice how much he is beginning to look like Nico. With his dark hair and pale blue eyes, there is no mistaking who his father is. Emotion consumes me, my legs nearly buckling out from under me as one thought flickers in my head.

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