AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“God that must have been awful.”
Clara twisted her lips and sighed, glancing off to the other side of the room. “Yeah, pretty awful when you want to say something and can't.”
“I won't be gone long. When I get back, we can work through this together. I'm sorry I haven't been around. Going into the heat with Caius and completing the mate bond has been a little time consuming, for lack of a better word.”
“Ohh, I know. Weallknow. It would do you some good to soundproof that room.” She scrunched her nose, adding, “It would domesome good.”
“Maybe we’ll do that before we get married,” I said, chuckling at her expression. “It’ll be my gift to you.”
Clara tilted her head back and laughed. “Isn’t that the other way around? I’m supposed to get you a gift, right? I wouldn’t even know where to start.”
“You’re trying to decode my mom’s journal. That means the world to me—” I stopped when her face fell, and I realized what it meant. “You still haven’t found anything . . .”
Claire's lips pressed together tight with disappointment, and she shook her head. “I'm so sorry.”
I released a tense breath. “It's okay. It's just that it would be nice to be able to give that part of him back. My gift to him. But it's not the end of the world.” I could tell how much it bothered her that she hadn’t found anything yet. It was wishful thinking anyway on my part.
She reached over, patting my hand with a gentle squeeze. “I’ll keep trying, I promise. I’m still the queen’s personal advisor, right? I can add royal translator to my list of talents.”
“Queen,” I repeated with sarcasm. Blowing a strand of loose hair off my face, I sighed. “Clara, I havenoidea what I'm going to do here. I feel like I'm going to have to learn how to be a whole new person. How do you learn to be a queen?”
She pursed her lips in thought before an “ah ha” look crossed her face. “What about going to see Danni?”
“That seems kind of weird, doesn't it?”
“Weird seeing a cousin?”
“No, weird because I haven’t seen her since she came to visit when we were little. I don’t feel like I know her well enough to be asking her for advice on how to not totally screw up being a royal.”
She waved me off. “You guys have written letters to each other since we were kids. She and Adora always said they wished you would come see them.”
I smiled. “She wrote to Caius, welcoming him to the family.” I picked at a piece of bread, recalling her most recent letter. “Actually, we’re going to see her and Elias. We’re going to meet and talk about the portal and stuff. It’s official business. I just don’t know how to be official.”
“See? No better time than the present.”
“Like, right now? Nooo,” I drawled, shaking my head. “I figure maybe I should send a letter first before showing up on their doorstep like some weirdo.”
“Yeah, I suppose you're right.”
“Besides, if I told Danni and she told Tía Sarah and Tía Abbey before I told my dad? He’s already going to lose his mind. I just need to bite the bullet and go see him.”
She frowned, nodding in agreement. “Just promise me you’ll take care of yourself, okay?”
“Jesus, Clara, I'm just going home.” For the first time, that word felt wrong. Home had always been where my family was, but Tartarus was also home. What a strange and conflicted feeling to feel equal parts of yourself pulled in two different directions.
Clara looked like she wanted to say something more substantial but changed her mind. “Give Jo and my mom a hug from me, okay?”
“Of course. And I’ll bring back all the family gossip. I have to go pack an overnight bag. I figure the sooner I get this over the better.” I got up from the table and walked to the other side, wrapping my arms around her shoulders in a hug.
She opened her mouth, and nothing came out, a slight tear developing in the corner of her eye.
“I love you, Reagan.”
“I love you too, Clara.”
She’d told me she was fine, but I wasn’t so sure. I had to take her at her word. Pressing further wouldn’t do any good, but worry consumed me. I'd never seen her this scared before.
I figured I'd needed to cut my trip short. She needed me, but she was struggling too much to admit it. I’d tell my dad and Sin about being mated, listen to the fallout and rage, give Jo a giant squeeze, spend one night there and come back.
