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“Right. So you told him what he feels is his soul and not a mate bond. That it?” When I looked away, a frown formed between her brows. “I’m sensing there’s more.”
“I might have told him Clara has been championing his cause and that I should have listened to Nog because she has shit taste in men,” I rattled off quickly. “Not in so many words exactly, but the point was clear.”
Styx lips parted, then she snapped her mouth shut. “Anything else I should know?”
I shook my head. “After that he got pissed and stormed off. We’ve been avoiding each other as much as we can, but that’s not very much given the whole fake mate thing. We have to be around each other, and it’s awful. I just wish I could smack him upside the head and tell him he’s being ridiculous. I mean, it’s completely reasonable for me to feel this way.”
Styx inclined her head. “It is reasonable for you to feel that way. Maybe not reasonable to completely invalidate him.”
“I . . . What?”
“He says he feels the mate bond. You told him he doesn’t. Right?” When I didn’t answer, she continued. “Exactly. You told him what he feels isn’t real because it’s not the same thing you feel. His beliefs, his feelings for you, aren’t valid because it’s not what you believe. Reverse that and tell me how you would react.”
I opened then closed my mouth.
“Ugh,” I groaned, covering my face with my splayed hand. “Words are stupid. I wasn’t trying to . . . invalidate him or tell him he doesn’t feel what he feels. I just wanted to point out that I don’t feel it, and I don’t think we’re mates. So if we had sex there wouldn’t be any bond forming. Then again, maybe if that happened, he’d realize we’re not mates and let me go since that’s the only reason he wants me to begin with?—”
Styx made a noise in her throat. “Okay first, you may not have been trying to invalidate him, but that’s exactly what you did. Accept that you fucked up. But this is a tricky subject. One where you could both be right, theoretically. You could be his mateandthe guardian. Did it ever occur to you that maybe you don’t feel it because you already have half his soul? You are already bound to him, so to speak.”
Well, that had some merit. Not a lot, but some. Guilt slowly formed like a lead weight, holding me down. “And second?” I dared to ask.
“Second, that’s not the only reason he wants you.”
“Okay, I’ll give you the first one as a maybe, but I’m calling bullshit there.”
Styx seemed to mull over her words before she finally spoke. “I can’t explain why, but I know for a fact you being his mate isn’t the only thing at play here. If you want to know more, you’ll need to ask him yourself.”
A knock at the door made me look up. Clara stood in leggings, a mid-thigh length black tunic, and boots. She was missing her classic black eyeliner and dark lipstick—instead, favoring a more natural approach as her makeup had run out and Nog refused to bring her more. He insisted she’d just use it to try to impress the wrong kind of guys again, and that he was “saving her from herself.” It was bullshit, but instead of bitching, she took the high road and went all natural. She looked beautiful either way. Her dark brown lips contrasted nicely with tan skin and dark, wide-set eyes.
“You ready to go?” Clara said.
“Yep, just wrapping up here.” I turned to Styx who watched us with casual disinterest. “Thanks for the advice.”
She nodded once. “Anytime. I’ll see you at the mate ceremony.”
I groaned. “You mean the primal hunt?”
“That’s the one.” She paused, seeing the lovely shade of green that was likely taking over my complexion. “You know the details, don’t you?”
Caius and I had barely spoken. Most of it was curt and brief. Little more than a frigid politeness in the company of others. Anxiety welled in my chest.
“I know enough,” I said, not wanting to talk about any of it. Not with him, and not with her.
“So long as you know what to expect.”
I wouldn’t say I knew exactly, but I knew there was no getting out of it. Maybe it was better not to know. After all, I was already dreading it. Why add fuel to the fire?
I said goodbye to Styx and walked out of the training room. Gripping the bottom of my shirt, I tugged at it a few times, fanning myself, and letting the air cool me. Then I re-tied my hair back, getting all the stray pieces that had escaped my braid.
“You’re looking good,” Clara said, appraising me. “You always had muscle from digging, but they’re more defined now.”
I grinned. “Thanks. I’m too lazy to do it for vanity, but I won’t lie; it’s a nice perk.”
“Can’t say I blame you there.” Clara chuckled as we walked into another atrium. Dark green and purple foliage crawled between the walkways and wound around the columns, trailing up the walls. Violet flowers with teeth sniffed at us as we walked by. We were careful not to take a step off the path. Those suckers wouldn’t hesitate to bite, especially after Nog attacked one in his corgi form and the flower lost the fight. Its brethren were antsy now around anything that moved.
“Hey, how’s the research with my mom’s journal going? Have you been able to translate any of it ?”
Clara froze for a second too long. One of the flowers closest to her snapped at her ankle, making her jump. I narrowed my eyes, judging her reaction. It wasn’t like her.
