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Butthe feeling dissipated quicker than morning fog over theHudsonHighlandsasAutumnreached over and squeezed her forearm. “I’moptimistic you’ll find the inspiration you’re looking for here.”
Hazelshot her a small smile and picked at her cinnamon roll. “Thanks.It’sbeen…”Sheblew out a breath. “Achallenge.”
Insteadof judgement or pat advice, the women just murmured in understanding.Theyweren’t judging her as a failure or a fraud because of her struggle to write something new.
“Yourshop is amazing,” she said toLaurel. “AndIcan’t wait to visit yours,” she added toSienna. “Whendid you open them?”
“Aboutfive years ago,” saidLaurel. “We’dalways known we wanted to stay inGossamerFallsand run our own businesses.Iwent to school for culinary arts, andIknewIwanted to run a dessert shop.Originally,I’dwanted to set up a tea shop, but no one can compete withPlayOolong.SowhenConnieretired and said she wanted someone to take over her bakery,Iknew it was perfect.Andthen six months later, the lease on the shop next door came up, and we figured that nothing goes better with desserts than coffee, so we managed to secure loans and raise enough capital to make it happen.”
“Didyou always want to run a coffee shop?”Hazelasked, moaning softly and earning a round of laughter as she bit into her cinnamon bun, taking a big, buttery, sticky bite.
Siennalaughed. “God, no.Formost of my twenties,Ihad no idea whatIwanted to do.Icame back after college with anEnglishdegree, hoping something would fall into my lap.Ibounced around, working at the library, the museum.Iwas even a mail carrier for a while.Buteventually,Ifigured out thatIwanted something that was mine, and the coffee shop just made sense.Itwas like everything in my life was falling into place, with the shop andF—”Shecut herself off abruptly and took a long sip of her coffee.
Autumndeftly changed the topic, and they spent the next half hour chatting about books,TVshows, movies, and music.Asthey talked,Hazelrelaxed, bit by bit, her shyness thawing like ice in the sun.Itfelt good to sit and talk and just be.Tonot have to worry about secrets they might be keeping, waiting to lob them at her like casually thrown bombs.
Sheswallowed thickly, tightness gathering in her chest as she thought of her last conversation withLeah.Theone where she’d blown their fifteen-year friendship to smithereens so cavalierly thatHazelwondered if they’d ever been friends at all.She’dalready been trying to pick up the smoking remains of her life after finding out thatSethwas leaving her forGrace, that he’d been carrying on an affair with her for almost a year.
Andthen she’d found out thatLeahhad known.Thatshe’d known almost from the start.Andthat she’d decided to keep his secret instead of tellingHazel.Thatshe really didn’t think it was a big deal that she hadn’t told her.Thatshe had a working relationship with him to protect, and so she’d had her own priorities.
Inthat instant,Hazelhad felt sick.Sick, and dizzyingly alone in the world.
Andutterly, completely humiliated.
“So, canIask what your new book’s about?” askedLaurel, leaning her elbows on the table, her expression kind and full of open interest.ItpulledHazelback to the present, and she was grateful for it.Shedidn’t want to think aboutLeahand how she’d flushed fifteen years of close friendship down the toilet.Howshe hadn’t mattered enough to her to come first.
Hazeldidn’t think she’d ever come first with anyone.Nother family.Nother friends.Nother husband.
Sheblinked rapidly, trying to dispel the stinging in her eyes. “Well,Iguess it’s about vampires.”
“Oooh, yes!” saidSienna, a wide grin on her face. “Ilove a good vampire story.”
“Thepremise is that they’re fated mates, destined to find each other again and again across time, using different monumental events in history as touchstones.Itopens during the fall ofRome, when everything is in chaos and their lives are torn in different directions.”
“But?” askedLaurelgently, her head tilted.
Hazel’sshoulders slumped and she shook her head slowly. “But, it’s not going well, andIcan’t for the life of me figure out why.Isit the characters?Thepremise?Thevoice?Isthe entire story just wrong?”Shetook a long sip of her coffee, the warm liquid calming her.Soothingher. “I’mstuck.”
“Ibet you’ll figure it out while you’re here,” saidAutumnwarmly, her voice full of kindness.
“Absolutely,” agreedSienna. “ComebyDejaBrewanytime; coffee’s on the house.It’swriter fuel, right?”
“Wow, thank you,” saidHazel, touched by the woman’s kindness.They’donly known each other for an hour and she was already treatingHazelwith more compassion than most people in her life back in the city.
“Don’tmention it,” saidSienna, waving awayHazel’sthanks. “It’sjust what we do, here.Wecheer each other on.”
“Well,I’mgrateful.I’mgoing to need alotof coffee ifIhave any hope of figuring this book out.”Shepaused, opened her mouth, closed it, and then decided she wanted to share.Thatit was safe to share. “Mypublisher has given me extension after extension, and now, ifIdon’t hand in the first 100 pages byHalloween, they’re going to cancel the contract and ask for the advance back.Whichis a bit of a problem becauseI’vebeen living off of it for the past two years, soIdon’t exactly have it anymore.So, ifIcan’t hand something in,I’llbe broke, unemployed, potentially homeless…”Anxietyset her insides quivering, a slow wave of nausea rolling through her.
Laurelwinced. “Talkabout having your feet to the fire.”
“Nokidding.Andthe cherry on top is that my ex-husband, who edited my first three books, is still my editor.”Shehadn’t planned to bringSethup, but there was something freeing about opening herself up to these women who’d welcomed her so easily and warmly.
Threemouths fell open in unison, andHazellaughed. “Iknow.Iknow,Iknow.”
“Can’tyou like…”Autumn’shands fluttered in front of her. “Requestsomeone else?”
“Oh,I’vetried, both through my agent and directly.Buthe won’t pass me to someone else.He…he had an affair, and even though he won’t admit it,Ithink he feels guilty.AndIthink he manages that guilt by pretending there are no hurt feelings between us.Thateverything is fine.Ifhe passes me to another editor, it’s like admitting wrongdoing on his part.”
“Buteveryone knows he’s your ex, right?” askedSienna, andHazelnodded.
