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“Nope!” saidAutumna little too loudly with forced brightness. “You’llall just have to be patient.”ShesentJackanother knowing look, and he couldn’t name the emotion that washed over him.Wasit hope?Hedidn’t know.Allhe knew was that he had the sudden urge to hold his breath, that his stomach was full of odd flutters, and for the first time in a while, he had an overwhelming sense that everything was going to be fine.Betterthan fine, even.
Forseveral moments, he stood completely still in the kitchen as his family moved around him, chatting and laughing.Hewasn’t normally one that put any stock in magic or the legend of the falls, but after watchingAdamandHazelfall hard and fast…Andit’s not likeAutumnwas psychic or something, although she did always seem to know things that she had no way of knowing…
Nah.
Impossible.
Sixteen
“Honey, are you alright?” askedJulie, laying a hand onJack’sarm.Shewas holding a glass of red wine and peering up at him with concern. “Youhave the strangest look on your face.”
Herubbed at his chest and nodded slowly. “Yeah,Mom.I’mgood.”
Hereyebrows knit together, and she tipped her head in the direction of the living room. “Comesit with me for a minute.”
Hegrabbed his beer from where he’d set it on the island and followed his mom into the living room, where the fire was crackling.Outside, light flakes had started to drift down from the darkened sky, swirling on the breeze before landing on the pile of snow on the front lawn.
Juliesat down on one of the loveseats, andJacksat down next to her. “Ijust wanted to see how you’re doing,” she said, her voice low, her eyes full of worry. “Youknow, afterNorah’sengagement.”
“Oh.Right.”Truthbe told, he’d been so caught up thinking aboutRosalieand how she was coming back that he hadn’t spent much time dwelling on it.Whichwas probably for the best. “I’mhappy for her.YouknowIthinkIan’sa great guy.”
“Iknow that, butI’masking howyouare.You’reallowed to have feelings about this, and any feelings you do have are completely valid.”
“I…Idon’t know.I’mhappy for her.Butthere’s a bittersweetness to it.Ithought she andIwere going to grow old together, and this feels…very final.Youknow?Iknow we’ve been divorced for a while, and we’re doing the best we can co-parenting, but she’s in love with someone else and getting remarried, and it’s…Idon’t know.Weird,Iguess.”
“That’sunderstandable.Butyou two were so young when you got married.You’renot the same people now as you were then.AndI’msorry that it didn’t work out, and you knowI’llalways loveNorahbecause she’sChloe’smom.Butmaybe this is a sign that there are bigger and better things out there for you, too.”
Henodded slowly, letting his vision go fuzzy around the edges as he stared at the fire.Whatdid it mean that everything seemed to make him think ofRosalie?Thesnow, the hotel, any mention ofCarrieClark, talk of meeting someone…Hecouldn’t get her out of his head, and fuck, he didn’t want to.
“Maybethere is,” he said slowly.Hetook a sip of his beer, and his mom waited for him to continue. “I’vebeen doing a lot of thinking lately.Somesoul searching, withNorahgetting engaged and…Ijust…maybe…I’mready.”
“Readyfor what, honey?”
Hemet his mother’s eyes. “Toreally put myself out there again.Notjust casual little flings—which,Ihope you know, those clowns in the kitchen greatly exaggerate—but something…”Hisgaze drifted to the family photo on the mantel again. “Somethingreal.Andmeaningful.”
“Iknow they exaggerate, and you’re also a grown man who can do what he pleases.”
“MaybewhatI’vebeen doing isn’t pleasing me anymore.”
“Andwhat would?”
“Iwant…whatAdamandHazelhave,” he said, the words falling out of his mouth before he could really examine them.Butit wouldn’t have mattered, because they were true. “Iwant to feel like that.Tofall in love, head over heels, crazy in love.”
Hefelt as though all the air had been sucked out of his lungs, a faint sense of panic clawing at him now that he’d said the words out loud.Butever since he’d spent the night withRosalie, it was as though the broken pieces inside him had started rearranging themselves.Intowhat, he wasn’t sure, but something different.
“Ifthat’s what you want, then that’s my wish for you, too,” saidJuliesoftly. “Thatkind of love is special and rare.Ihad it with your father, andAdamcertainly has it withHazel.”
“AndwithNorah…”Jacktrailed off.
Juliehesitated, toying with the hem of her sweater before laying her hand onJack’sthigh. “LikeIsaid,Iwill always loveNorah.Ithink she’s a lovely person, and a wonderful mother.ButIdon’t think she was your once in a lifetime, soulmate type of love.”
“Youdon’t?”Jackasked, his eyebrows inching up his forehead.He’dbeen starting to think the same thing himself, but he was surprised to hear it from his mother.
Julieshook her head. “No.Butwhen you were eighteen, no one could talk you out of anything.Believeme,Itried when it came to joining theArmy.”Shesmiled sadly, the lines of her face softening. “Ilove you,Jack, but you’re someone who needs to learn things on his own time, in his own way.JustlikeFinn.”
“Whenhe comes back, will you forgive him for leaving?” he asked.
“Ilike that you said ‘when’ and not ‘if.’Andyes,I’llforgive him.OfcourseIwill.”Shesqueezed his leg. “Andhe will come back, when he’s ready.Justlike you’ll be willing to take a risk on love, when you’re ready.Andit sounds like maybe you are.”
