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“I want that too,” I whisper.
He comes awake at my words, as if remembering where he is and how he’s almost crushing me under his weight. And so he tries to get away as he says, “You don’t —”
I don’t let him go anywhere. “Do you know the first thing I thought of tonight when you threatened to fire me? I thought about Sophie.” That gives him pause and he frowns down at me. “I thought about how much I’d miss her. How I’d get jealous if someone else, some other nanny, gets to braid her hair or read her moods or gets to make breakfast for her.”
He’s completely still over me right now, his expression blank.
So I’m not sure what effect my words are having on him but I keep at it.
“I realize how crazy that sounds; I’m just her nanny and I won’t be that forever. But I felt it all the same. I felt this big dark fear of never seeing her again.”Along with the big, dark fear of never seeing you again. “So I left the restaurant with you, not because I wanted to keep my job and be a nanny, but because I wanted to beSophie’snanny. And let me tell you, I have options. I get phone calls every day about parents wanting me to work for them. So despite your threats of never letting anyone hire me, I’d still land a job. You know why? Because I’m a good nanny. I’m a freaking fantastic nanny. I might be the best nanny there ever was. And that’s because I know what the job is. Iknowhow to do it and how to keep my professional life separate from my personal. So whatever fear you have, about me hurting Sophie, is baseless. I couldneverhurt her. I’d die before hurting that cute little girl.”
Still, he has no expression on his face and I realize I really need to cinch it. I really need to drive home the point that he can do this and there would be no consequences.
Not for him or Sophie.
“Not to mention, I have my career to think about. I’m going to be a child psychologist. Do you know how much work that takes? How big of a commitment it is? I don’t have time to date. I don’t have time to give in to feelings of any sort. I’m going places. I don’t want emotions and stuff to hold me back. I don’t want an unavailable single dad to hold me back.”
Gosh, that was hard.
The last part was really, really hard to get out.
And I’m proud of myself that I did.
“You don’t, huh,” he says roughly.
My throat is drying out and I want to swallow. But I don’t. I don’t show any weakness. I meet his gaze with all the confidence in the world. “No.” Then, “All I want is this. Tonight. So I can stop obsessing over my boss and so my boss can stop obsessing over me. Because I do. I obsess over you too. Since the first moment I saw you.” When he still doesn’t do anything except to stare down at me with the same impassive look, I blurt out, “And you know what, I have a right to make decisions about my body without you acting like my big bad protector or a caveman. I have the right to choose and make up my own mind and you can’t tell me what to do. So —”
He comes for my mouth then, stealing all my words and my breaths.
But that’s okay.
I wanted that.
Iwantthat, his mouth on mine, hot and wet and so possessive. So demanding and devouring. I want so many other things too and I really hope that he gives them to me tonight. I really hope that my speech and my lies made a difference, and —
My thoughts crack down the middle because I feel my gravity change again. And then before I can get my bearings back, I find that I’m once again being lifted up. He once again uses his corded arms and the power packed in his muscles to drape me around his body, this time with our chests pressed together just like our mouths, my thighs hooked around his hips and his fingers digging into my butt.
As he starts to walk down the hallway, I pant into his mouth, “You need to p-put me down. I’m heavy.”
His fingers dig into my meaty flesh as he growls, “Remember what I told you if you called yourself that?”
I fist his gorgeous hair. “That y-you’d carry me everywhere. But —”
“Yeah, and if you protest too much, I won’t put you down so easily.”
“I know that but —”
“And that’s not how I plan to do things tonight.”
“What plans?”
At my question, he really gives it to me.
He squeezes my flesh so hard that I have to arch my back and rub against him, moaning with pain and desire. Something that I thought they did only in the movies and wasn’t possible to do in real life. But then again, there are so many things that I thought were impossible to do that I’m doing so easily tonight. And when he replies back to me, I realize that I haven’t even scratched the surface of the things I’m willing to do.
“Fucking you standing up.”
This time, his growled words alone make me arch and rub up against him. “Yeah, that. Let’s do that.”
