AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“You do,” he says, his gaze heavy.
“Yes,” I breathe out, “I-I think I’ve loved you since the first day. And it took only…”
“It took only what?”
“Forty-seven minutes,” I tell him like an idiot. “It took only forty-seven minutes for me to fall in love with you. Which is also when I accepted the position as your nanny.”
“Forty-seven minutes.”
I cringe at my stupidity in revealing that but it’s out there now so all I can do is own it. Plus I have other things to confess, which are way more cringe-worthy so I should cut myself some slack.
Bobbing out a nod, I say, “Yeah. And I’ve tried to be very professional throughout the time that I’ve worked for you. I’ve tried to, uh, hide it, suppress it even but I… I don’t think I’ve been very successful. In fact I think the more I tried to suppress it, the worse it’s gotten. And then a couple of weeks ago, I…” I wrinkle my nose and duck my eyes down to look at his stubbled throat. “I crossed a line.”
“You crossed a line.”
I keep my eyes at his throat, my nails scratching the backs of his hands on my cheeks. “Yes. I…”God, just do it. Just come out with it.“I looked at your phone. Your texts. You left your phone on the kitchen island after you came back from the practice and I… It lit up with a text and even though I knew I shouldn’t have, I did it. I looked at that text and it was from Tara. She was talking about meeting you at that Italian place and I…” I shake my head and keep my eyes pinned,pinned, to his throat. “I opened your phone. You really should password protect your phone by the way. There are all kinds of creeps walking around and there have been multiple episodes onDatelineabout cyber stalkers and…”Oh Christ, what am I saying?“Anyway, that’s when I realized that it was going to be a second date. With Tara and you never go on a second date with anyone. Even Cami said so and usually I’m okay when you go on dates. I mean it hurts. It makes me… I’ve cried a few times but usually I’m able to bear it. But I couldn’t that day, not with Tara, not when there was a slightest chance that you couldactuallylike her. And then you gave me the day off and I… I couldn’t stay away. I had to see. With my own eyes. I had to know. If you really were going on that date. So I showed up at your house like a freaking stalker and I…”
I look up then and find his eyes have gone all dark and liquid, and I don’t know what it means. Is he angry? Is he upset? Is herelievedthat he fired me, after knowing all this?
I don’t know.
All I know is that I have to keep talking or I’ll crumble in front of him. I’ll die of shame and embarrassment and love and longing and all the things that I never thought I could feel.
“I’m sorry,” I whisper. “For everything. For looking at your phone; for showing up at your house; for invading your privacy and I wish…”
“You wish what?”
His hands are so hot on my cheeks as if he’s burning up inside. And again, I don’t know if it’s from anger or something else but I keep going. “I wish I could say that I was sorry for falling in love with you but I’m not. I’m sorry for everything else I did in the name of it but I’m not sorry for loving you. For watching you with Sophie every single day, watching you being the best daddy anyone could ever be and admiring you from afar. For watching how hard you work, how responsible you are, how fierce you are for the people you love… I’m not sorry about that. So you’re right to fire me. Because I did lie. I said that I could be professional. I said that all I wanted was one night with you and nothing more. It was all a lie. I do want more. I’ll always want more with you. And no, I can’t be professional. I can’t be aloof, not after that night. I can’t watch you go on dates, on second dates, third dates. I can’t… I can’t stop loving you. But I… Can I ask you do something for me?”
My question sounds so much like his from that night. When he’d asked me to put my coat back on so he wouldn’t do something inappropriate.
And to my ears, his answer sounds so much like mine had. Like he’d do anything for me, anything that I ask him to do.
“What?”
I grip his hand tighter. “Can I say goodbye to Sophie? Please? I-I won’t be long, I promise. I won’t say anything inappropriate. I won’t… I just want to make sure that she’s okay with the transition, you know, now that I won’t be there and… She can be shy sometimes and change is hard for her. I mean you know that already. You’re her dad but after that twin bed fiasco I think it’s important to ease her into things and –”
“No.”
“What?”
“You can’t say goodbye to Sophie,” he rasps.
“Oh.” My heart shrinks. “I… Okay. Okay, that’s fine. That’s,” I swallow thickly, “fine.”
“Because you’re not going anywhere.”
“I’m… What?”
He puts pressure on my face and tilts my neck up so he can look down at me. So he can make himself my sky with two glittering eyes for stars. Only then he explains, “Because you could still be pregnant with my baby, remember?”
I think I draw blood this time when I rake my nails down the backs of his hands. “I… I’m –”
“So I’m thinking,” he cuts me off, his gaze reaching down inside of me and messing with my breaths, “we should do it before the season starts.”
“D-do what before the season starts?”
“Get married.”
