Page 89 of Filthy Lawyer


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She snorted. “You truly are an amazing actress, Elizabeth.”

“Thank you.”

She smiled. “What’s bothering you?”

“I’m not lawyer material,” I said. “I’ve gone far past faking it. Pretending can only take me so far.”

“You’re the smartest person in every room you walk into.” She narrowed her eyes at me. “Always have been.”

“No touching!” The skinny guard bellowed from across the room, and Ellie pulled away from me.

“Look,” she said, “Any person who can get hired at Hamilton and Associates isbeyondgreat lawyer material. To be honest, I probably wouldn’t have made it past the application phase from what I’ve heard.”

“It’s hard, Ellie.” Tears welled in my eyes. “So hard, and I feel like the paperwork and the writing are the easy parts. This other stuff? Running around town like I’m some type of detective or a crime scene expert is. They’re going to find out the truth about me and you sooner or later.”

“Elizabeth…”

“They are.” I kept my voice low. “Mr. Carter is right…Memorizing things and passing tests in school is one thing, but the moment I actually try to practice the actual law? I can’t write a closing argument or summarize a decent brief to save my life.”

“Deep breaths.” She clasped my hand. “You can do this for a few more months. Preferablyyears, but at least a few more months.”

“You say that like you think I’m smart enough to get you out of here.”

“I know you are.” She smiled. “You’re a lawyer. A real deal lawyer.”

“I’m a fraud who picked up at Harvard where you left off.”

“And you did one hell of a job.” She chided. “Now, show me where you’re having issues. We only have an hour of this visit left.”

UNCLEAN HANDS (N.)

A DEFENSE TO A COMPLAINT, WHICH STATES THAT A PARTY WHO IS ASKING FOR A JUDGMENT CANNOT HAVE THE HELP OF THE COURT IF HE/SHE HAS DONE ANYTHING UNETHICAL IN RELATION TO THE SUBJECT OF THE LAWSUIT

DAMIEN

Istormed into Andrew’s office on Friday morning and locked the door.

“We have a problem.”

“Okay.” He shrugged. “How much will we have to pay to get rid of it?”

“Miss Tanner never passed the bar exam,” I said. “She handled cases with me and practiced in open court, all without evertakingit.”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t quite catch that.” He leaned back in his chair. “Can you repeat yourself without the malpractice and fraud parts of that sentence?”

“She never passed the bar, Andrew,” I say. “You heard me loud and clear.”

“Did she ever go to Harvard?”

“Technically yes, and technically no.”

“So, did she really exist or was she a ghost this whole time?”

Good question.“I’ll figure out a way to fix it,” I said. “I just wanted you to know.”

I waited for him to serve another round of sarcasm, but he stared straight ahead.

“Say what's on your mind, Andrew.”

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