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“Okay.” Lucas nods as if everything sounds completely reasonable.
Carter does the same thing. “So, you’re dressing as some Spike dude. All right.”
“What? No!”
They look at each other again with more confusion.
“Why not? Carter asks.
I stare back at both of them, as they wait for my answer. If I’m completely honest, they seem to be taking everything even better than I imagined. I didn’t really think they’d make fun of me, but I did expect at least a little teasing. But they seem completely normal. As if finding out how much of a nerd I am means nothing. And maybe it did mean nothing to them since they’re my friends. But how would the rest of the school react?
I lean my head back, staring up at the ceiling. “You guys are my friends. So, I’m glad you’re cool with all this. But, I’m a nerd who’s pretended to be some cool kid for the last four years. Everything everyone knows about me is just the part I want them to see. Don’t get me wrong, I like what I do. I like being in ASB, even if I did it to get my dad off my case. I like playing football and basketball, and being one of the cool kids. But this?” I wave around the room. “This is who I really am.”
“Matt, it’s not that big of a deal,” Carter says.
“Not to you. But to everyone else? We’re almost done with school. I just want to finish it without making waves.”
“Matt,” Lucas speaks up. “So what if you’re into nerdy stuff. We’ve all got our things.”
“Luc’s right,” Carter agrees.
“Look, I don’t want to sound like an egomaniac or anything—”
“Oh, now he doesn’t want to sound stuck up.” Carter laughs, elbowing Lucas.
“But seriously. I’m student body president. I’ve pretended to be Joe Cool for so long, that I’m fine with keeping up the charade until school’s over. What would people say if I all of a sudden started showing how much of a geek I really am. I mean, I drive a freaking Lexus to school, you guys.”
“So, that’s why you’re not going to go out with a girl you like? Because of what people will think?”
“Carter,” I counter. “You loved all those rumors that were spread about you.”
“Yeah, until I didn’t. Matt, I wanted people thinking those things. You don’t want people to know what’s really true.”
“Sounds like the same thing to me.”
“I kind of agree with Carter,” Lucas says, giving me an apologetic smirk.
“It doesn’t matter because I would go out with her. I told her that. But she won’t unless I’m comfortable with being who I really am. But that’s stupid because I am comfortable being who I am in school.”
“Are you more comfortable with who you are at school or who you are with her?” Carter asks. I silently stare at him, but I know the answer. And I’m sure he does too now. “Well, take it from me. There’s a difference in being comfortable with what people know about you and accepting yourself for who you are.”
I appreciate the words, even if I let out a scoff. “Thank you, Mr. Guidance Counselor.”
“So …” Lucas clears his throat after we stand in silence for a minute. “We eating burgers and playing games, or what?”
“Yeah.” I let out a laugh. “I could use a little mindless video games right now.”
