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I headed back to the kitchen, pulling groceries from the bag until I was able to get my hands on the carton of ice cream. The moment I opened the freezer door, my phone rang for a second time. I shoved the container inside, slamming the door then reaching for my purse. Maybe Megan was calling about our tentative lunch the next day.
When I noticed the attorney I’d used for the custody hearings, I immediately bristled. However, I’d been trying to get my worthless ex to pay what he owed for child support. Maybe the call was good news for a change. If James paid every penny of what he owed, we wouldn’t have any issues finding a new place, including putting down a security deposit and having six months of rent.
I said a silent prayer before answering the call. “Ms. Perkins. How are you? It’s been a long time. Please tell me you’re calling with good news. Did the courts finally pressure James into paying what he owes me?”
“I’m afraid not, Ms. Logan. In fact, I’m calling about other news altogether.”
“What news?”
“I had a courtesy call from James’ attorney. It would seem that Mr. Jenson is preparing to file for full custody of Britta.”
“Wait. How can he do that? He hasn’t paid me a dime in child support. Not a single dime in four years. He wanted nothing to do with her or with me other than to abuse me. That’s been documented on police records. He’s a bad man. How could the courts even consider such an atrocity?” While I was doing my best to try to keep my voice down, the near hysteria I’d fought so hard to keep out of my life was creeping up on me again. This was my worst nightmare, the one thing that had kept me awake at night.
“I’m not any happier about this than you are but James has a stable home and is working for his father’s company now. He’s making excellent money. In fact, he’s doing extremely well now, able to provide Britta with everything she needs.”
My God. It was like she’d consumed the Kool-Aid James’ family was so good at doling out. I’d always known James was in line to take over his father’s firm, becoming a rich man himself. That had been one reason his father hadn’t approved of me. After all, I came from foster care. How could I be good enough for the beloved son of purported real estate royalty? I wanted to burn every item in my house, the horror of what I was hearing difficult to bear.
“So the fuck what?” I took a few steps forward. Seeing my little girl’s distraught face from overhearing me made me cringe.
Oh, God. This just couldn’t happen. I wasn’t equipped for another court battle. I couldn’t pay for it.
“Just calm down. Unfortunately, the courts look at what’s in the best interest of the child. Even though there have been difficulties in the past with Mr. Jenson, he’s cleaned up his act. That goes a long way in front of a judge.”
“That’s fucking bullshit!” Now I was almost screaming from terror racing through me. This just wasn’t possible. “I thought I was protected.”
“I understand and we can get through this. Just so you are aware, it’s likely that social services will be making a visit to your home in the next few days. Just to ensure the child’s living environment is decent.”
“Decent? I’m barely making ends meet. I…” Tears formed in my eyes and I wiped them away furiously. The bastard wasn’t going to get me down. I refused to allow the monster to win. I’d run if I had to.
My attorney sighed. “We could be in for a long court battle that could include Britta being allowed to spend some time with her father.”
“No visitation means no visitation!”
“Things have changed. The court must look at every situation involving the child carefully.”
I rubbed my eyes, no longer able to feel my legs. “How much is this going to cost me?”
“At this point, I’ll simply need a two-thousand-dollar retainer. That will suffice for a little while,” Sheila said almost in passing as if that kind of money grew on trees. “Now, if you don’t have that kind of funds readily available, we can work out a payment arrangement.”
“I’ll figure it out somehow. I’ll need a few days.”
“Of course. Don’t worry too much, Jessica. The past is still something that can’t be shoved under the rug.”
“Sure. Thank you for your call.”
“I’ll let you know as things progress. Don’t worry about the visit from the social worker either. She’ll simply be making certain Britta has a safe environment more than anything.”
“Right. A safe environment. Thank you.” I ended the call abruptly, fighting the sobs I felt deep in my chest. I couldn’t lose my baby. I just couldn’t. But what was I going to do? James came from a family who could afford a lengthy court battle. Why now? Why did he act as if he wanted anything to do with my baby? Why?
I allowed the tears to fall, hating everything about my life at that moment.
“Mommy. Why are you crying?”
I jerked up my head, sniffing as I placed the phone on the counter. When I walked closer, dropping onto my knees and jerking her into my arms, she tensed. “I love you, baby. Mommy loves you so much.”
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothing is wrong, baby. I’m just happy you’re my little girl.” I pulled away, still fighting the tears. As I brushed her long hair from her eyes, I thought about how many good times we’d had doing nothing more than watching a movie or enjoying the horses and ponies. We’d both been given a gift of living here for as long as we had, a true godsend. I honestly couldn’t imagine living anywhere else. “Did you pick out a movie, baby?”
