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While she remained angry, I could tell she was embarrassed by what she’d been forced to endure and suddenly I felt like a shit for asking her such personal questions or doubting her.
“You don’t believe me,” she threw out. “I’m right. Aren’t I? You think I threatened a man who’s been the only father figure in my life?” She shook her head slowly, her jaw clenching and her face flushing from anger.
“That’s not it but someone is intent on getting this place, which isn’t going to happen.” What the fuck was wrong with me? I’d spent so goddamn much time around my father that I’d forgotten there were decent people in this world.
“Maybe you should sell it, Sebastian.” She shook her head, staring at me as if we didn’t know each other at all.
I rose to my feet, easing around the corner of the desk but as soon as I took a step closer, she threw out her hand. “I do believe you, Big Red. However, I have many enemies who will stop at nothing to try and destroy my family in one way or another. They’ll go to great lengths in order to do so, hiring the necessary people to make that happen. There are too many coincidences, questions with no answers.”
“I’m not one of those people. Maybe I was crazy, but I thought you cared about me after what we shared last night and in the morning.”
“I do.”
“No, you asked me to trust you, but you can’t trust anyone yourself. I am such a damn fool. You know what? I stand by what I thought of you in the beginning. You’re a real asshole. Just like your father. Do you want to know something? I was a geeky kid in school, and when James took a liking to me, I was floored. I fell madly in love with him. For three years we did this little dance where he’d pay me attention, shower me with gifts, then disappear. I was so stupid and naïve that I had no idea he was leading me on. None. The only foster mother who gave a damn tried to tell me and not only did I ignore her but I pushed her away.”
I wanted so much to drag Jessie into my arms, but I knew she’d only shove me off. How the fuck could I blame her?
She folded one arm over her chest, staring out the window. “I was in a coffee shop with a friend of mine and lo and behold, the bastard walked by with another woman on his arm. I confronted him and he laughed at me. Meanwhile, the girl showed off her ring, treating me just as badly. They were engaged. He’d broken a date with me because he was at his own engagement party. Who does that kind of thing? Who does it?”
“I’m sorry, baby.”
“Don’t call me baby or Big Red or anything right now, Sebastian. You have no idea how much it hurt me to see him with someone else. I thought he cared about me, just like for about two seconds I thought you had some thought about us getting to know each other better.” She smacked herself in the head. “So, for a year afterwards, I allowed him to enter into an even more toxic relationship with me. He got more abusive, so much so I couldn’t go to work some days. But I still allowed him into my life. And the night I finally told him I was pregnant, I thought he was going to kill me. He beat me to the point where I almost had a miscarriage. Can you believe that? He was married to this other chick two months later. By that point, he wanted nothing to do with me. His wife even threatened me. I’ve promise myself that would never happen again. Never.”
Her words were haunting, the pain so evident I had no idea what to say. I’d just broken the tenuous level of trust that she’d allowed herself by being… me. A classic asshole who didn’t deserve a beautiful, intelligent, loving woman giving me the benefit of the doubt.
“And you have no clue about that level of hurt from being treated like garbage. Do you?” she asked. “Thank you for allowing me to see the real man behind the ugly mask you’re wearing. I actually feel sorry for you, Sebastian. You’re going to figure out that the only thing important in life is caring about someone else with all your heart but by then it’ll be too late. Enjoy your money and your fancy clothes and toys all by yourself.”
After giving me another hate-filled look and shaking her head, she walked out.
CHAPTER 21
Sebastian
“Your mother is a whore. She’s nothing but trash.”
I hadn’t thought about my father’s words when telling Jackson and me that our mom had left in years. However, they were relevant, not only because of the way James had treated Jessie and what he’d said all those years ago but because I’d come close to treating her the same way. As if both she and her feelings were disposable.
Goddamn it. I was an asshole.
I dropped my head, trying to get my shit together, then took my time heading out of the office. She was in the kitchen, bristling as soon as I walked in.
“Megan will be here any moment,” she said, the pain in her voice nearly crushing me.
“I don’t want you to go. We should talk. You took what I was asking you out of context.”
She laughed, the sound so bitter I winced. “I don’t think I did. Why do you want me to stay? So you can grill me some more about whether or not I was out to get your grandfather? Is that it?” She folded both her arms, walking toward me with a blank look on her face. “Or maybe you think I was willing to go to bed with him, so he’d leave me the ranch?”
How the hell was I supposed to counter that? That’s exactly the way I’d treated her. “That’s not why.”
“I don’t need to hear it, Sebastian. I don’t know what you’re used to wherever you come from, but I learned something very special about moving here. People here are kindhearted, sometimes to a fault. Your grandfather might have been a bastard as a businessman years ago, but the kindness he showed me as well as others finally allowed me to believe that there was some good in this world. I’m not going to allow you to take that away from me. Whatever Walter left me in the will, please do me a favor and give it to a local animal shelter. One of the things I hope I can one day get Britta is a dog. She’s asked for one every holiday, but I can’t afford food for her so I certainly can’t buy dog food. But one day, I swear to God, I’m going to give her the world.”
“You already are, Jessie. Your love is all she needs.”
She eyed me as if longing to believe what I was saying. As soon as the tiny sliver of hope popped into her eyes, it faded away. “Not like she deserves.”
We both heard a knock on the door and I hissed.
“I wasn’t trying to hurt you, Jessie. I’m just trying to figure out who could have threatened my grandfather. As I said, my entire family has enemies, including those from Walter’s past. I’m worried someone might have killed him.” The list of possibilities as to the responsible person was growing.
