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He’s mine.
Sucking in a breath of air, I lift my head and look around the room. Rae is still asleep in her bed, so I try not to make too much noise as I reach for my phone.
10:17 a.m.
Getting to my feet, I squint my eyes shut when my head throbs. My hand reaches for my desk to brace myself and stop the room from spinning. Taking another steadying breath, I cross the room, massaging my temple with one hand to try and ease my headache.
I reach for the door handle, careful to unlatch it quietly. The fluorescent lights of the hallway make me want to die, but I try to hide it when I see Matt rounding the corner.
“Hey,” I say, my voice rough with sleep. “Rae is still asleep.”
He points to his dorm. “I’m about to go back to bed. I was just helping Jackson take some of his stuff down.”
I pause. “Where is he?” I’m not sure if I’m ready to face him after last night. My head is still swarming with embarrassment and regret.
“He just left,” Matt says, watching for my reaction.
Trying to hide the way those three words hit me because it suddenly feels like I’m free falling into nothing, I swallow. He left, and if he said goodbye, I don’t even remember it. My eyes sting, and I bite the inside of my cheek to keep the tears at bay. I nod. “Right. Of course.”
Holding up both hands, he says, “He told me you two worked everything out last night.”
I force a laugh. “Yeah. We did . . . I think.” Nodding toward his dorm, I add, “Get some sleep. I’ll see you later.”
He rubs the back of his neck as he opens the door. “See you, Margot.” As he turns away, the corners of his mouth dip, and I can only imagine how the empty half of his room must make him feel. Before he closes the door, I catch a glimpse. Jackson’s usual mess is gone. Even the blue plastic mattress is visible with no sheets. The sight hits me in the chest, and I quickly look away.
He left.
Heading back into my room, I quietly sit back on my bed and pick up the note again. His handwriting is still terrible, but I love that he left this for me. My eyes run over the page, reading the same words three more times. Hugging my knees to my chest, I set the note on my bed, my eyes locking onto the ten digits at the top of the page. The sight brings a fresh ache to my chest. Because as much as I want to text him, I can’t fight the feeling that Jackson and I are a bad idea.
56
jackson
My car’s tires take me in the direction of home, and I try not to think about how much I don’t want to go.
Go on tour? Sure.
But home? Home is a different story. I’ll have to face my dad for the first time in weeks, and it will only be more awkward since he kicked me out on Thanksgiving. If my dad could have it his way, I’m sure he’d rather I not be there for Christmas. He’s not the one who invited me—Mom is. So, I have a feeling this is her way of putting her foot down, which only makes me less eager to go.
The guys said we can get together after the new year. That’s just over two weeks. Two weeks with my parents, and I’ll be back on track.
My hands grip the steering wheel tighter at the thought.
Things will be easier once Matt is back home with his parents, too. Then I’ll at least have somewhere else to go. Matt wants to spend as much time with Rae as possible before they part ways for the holidays, and I don’t blame him. If I could have things my way, I’d probably want to spend as much time with Margot. She was still asleep when I left this morning. I thought about waking her, but she needs to sleep off the hangover she’s bound to wake up with.
And I’m not sure how much she remembers.
Margot has a way of keeping me on my toes, that’s for sure. Even though she told me she likes me, who knows what she’s feeling this morning.
That’s another reason I wanted to leave. I don’t want to give her a chance to tell me no. If she goes back to hating my guts, I’d feel like I ruined something. At least this way, we ended things on good terms. We ended things with an open door, and I’m leaving before she has the chance to shut it.
I barely have my foot on the gas pedal as I coast through my neighborhood. As I inch closer to my parents’ house, I wish all four of my tires would just fall off like some type of cartoon.
It isn’t until someone drives up behind me that I’m forced to hit the gas. Turning onto the all too familiar dead-end street, I pull into the driveway. I can’t delay this any longer. Staring up at the house I grew up in, I try to get a handle on everything I’m feeling. It’s a Saturday, so they’ll both be home. My mom knows I’m coming home, but even though she swears my dad is on board, I’m not so sure.
The door opens before I make it halfway up the walkway. My mom runs out to greet me, all big smiles and warm hugs, and I wrap my arms around her, not realizing until now how much I’ve missed her.
She’s thin. She’s always been that way, but her face is usually round. Even her cheekbones seem more prominent, though. My mind jumps to her not eating because she’s stressed, and it makes me more pissed at my dad. He has to see what this is doing to her. Family means everything to her. I mean everything to her. His dividing the family will hurt her more than it will hurt anyone else.
