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Blood beads on his lips. He reaches to brush it away, but my fingers land there first. I let the smallest sparkle of ethera settle on his skin, and the bleeding stops. The wound is still angry red, with a crust of dried blood tugging on his skin.
Valdus catches my fingers, curling his cold hand over them. “You shouldn’t have.”
“I don’t like seeing you hurt.”
“Me neither.”
The next thing I know, his thumb brushes my lip over the prickling scar. “I’m sorry for ever hurting you,” he mutters.
His fingers run over my chin, and I fight the pleasant shiver his touch sends over my skin. “That was an accident,” I whisper, searching his eyes for something I’m not sure I’m ready to find. “Everyone has a bruise or a scar as a reminder of that day.”
“I still feel responsible.”
“I had my hand pulling out a bullet out of you. With all the blood, I think it’s fair to say I was hurting you more.”
Valdus sighs, his fingers running down my neck. “You won’t let me have this.”
“I won’t let you paint yourself as a villain when you’re anything but.”
He shakes his head, his breath as ragged as mine. “You’re too good for this desert.”
The footsteps at the entrance make him stumble away all the way to the other end of the kitchen. His fingers left a burning trace on my skin, and I cup my hand over my neck. A futile gesture to keep the sensation as something more than a fleeting memory.
When the door opens to the kitchen, and Numair walks in, looking as tired as Valdus, he has eyes only for his brother-in-arms.
“Ready to go?” Numair asks. He notices me, and his lips curl into a smile. “Rebel Princess.”
Valdus doesn’t say a word. Not even to make his displeasure for the nickname known. He picks up his backpack, slides it over his shoulder, and, is out of the house while I try to figure out how am I supposed to take the next breath when he stole the last one.
28
Idrop the backpack with supplies and almost fall down into the chair.
“Long day?” Inara asks.
I nod, devouring one oatmeal cookie after another. Since Inara discovered my cookie preference, she has been baking them as treats while Numair and I have been alternating between the research laboratory and The Broken Sands. Kyle, Joao, or Priya joined us in the greenhouse every day, but there isn’t as much to do now that we’ve planted everything.
They’ve turned the laboratory into an outpost worthy of its name. Each took their turn to clean it of sand, repair old furniture so it can be used again, and decorate the place so it felt like something other than an abandoned research center. They’ve even brought over the tags that Valdus kept in his room and built a memorial around it.
Even though I’m not hungry anymore, I pick up another cookie just to keep my hands busy. Inara is humming a low tune under her breath, putting dishes and cutlery into the cabinets. I break the cookie in two, clear my throat and shift in my seat, but can’t muster the courage to ask a question I’ve been dreading.
Inara closes another cabinet with a final hum and turns to me. “Will you stop that already and tell me what’s on your mind?” She stands with her hands on her hips, worry crinkling her brow. “The last time you were this silent, you went on your little trip into the city.”
I sigh. “I want to send a letter.”
“To whom?”
“To the Nameless One,” I say. “I thought you might read them. I know now that you don’t. I have to thank him and tell him that I’m safe here.”
With a nod, she heads to her room. She’s back in the kitchen a few moments later. Her fingers run over the folded parchment in her hands. When she puts it in front of me, I swear I can still feel a tingle of energy clinging to the paper. “When you’re done, just fold the letter two times. It’s bound to appear next to the one it’s destined for,” Inara says. “I’ll give you some space.” She picks up a scarf from a hook and adds before leaving, “I’m going to The House of Eternity. Don’t wait up for me.”
I nibble on the cookie. Each moment is delaying what I know I have to do. When I’ve swallowed even the last crumb, I force myself to write what I’ve repeated a hundred times in my mind.
Nameless One,
I must ask for your forgiveness for the delay in responding to your letters, but this empire is full of traitorous sands, and I feared I’d put you in more danger that I already had.
There’s been talk that you’ve arranged a safe life like you’ve promised me back on the train. I’ll never be able to repay you for everything you’ve done for me, yet now that I’ve learned so many truths, I can no longer run away from my responsibilities. I have a chance to fight for the better desert, and I can’t give it up.
