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That makes us all chuckle before they walk away.
Once we finish, I wipe off Nicky’s chocolate beard and his hands. We decide to take him to the park that’s right next to Dairy Queen. I push Nicky on the swing for a bit as Luna swings slowly beside us.
“Will you tell me the names you’re thinking about? I promise not to tell Sara or Pete.” I look over at her, ready to give her my puppy dog eyes. Fuck, she’s beautiful. The sun is setting behind her, casting an orangish-yellow glow around her. Why didn’t I bring my camera?
I pull out my phone and open the camera app. “Luna, look at me.”
She turns toward me, looking nervous. “What?”
“Smile, I want to take your picture.” Holding up my phone I look at the screen. “Give me a softer, subtler smile.” Luna takes direction well, and it is perfect. I snap several pictures and then I tell Nicky to get on his sister’s lap.
They touch their noses together and with the sun behind them it almost makes them look like silhouettes. I snap a few more photos and then get behind them and take a selfie. It’s a good fucking picture.
“We should probably get him home so we can talk.”
Luna turns to look at me. “Um… yeah that’d be good.”
Luckily Nicky is a good sport about it and doesn’t throw a fit when we head back to the car.
It’s a half hour before we’re down at the beach. We’ll have a perfect view of the sun setting. Reaching our spot, I lay the blanket down and help Luna to the ground. Neither of us speaks as we both stare out at the horizon. It is so peaceful out here.
“I want to be involved.” I say quietly. I’m not sure if I’ll be a good father, but I want to try, and that’s what I tell her.
Luna places her hand on mine. “Sometimes I wonder if I’ll be a good Mom, but then I tell myself I’m going to love her and do the best I can—that’s all I can do.”
She turns back to the ocean and when she tries to remove her hand from mine, I stop her, and bring her hand to my mouth and kiss the back of it. “I have no doubt you’ll be a great mom. The way you are with Nicky is proof of that.”
“How is this co-parenting thing going to work? You travel a lot for your work, and you don’t even live here.” Luna chews on her bottom lip as she waits for me to answer her.
The truth of the matter is that the more I think about it, the more I know what I need to do. “I was thinking, maybe I could make San Diego my home base. I’m used to traveling a lot, and maybe you guys could travel with me. You can write anywhere and maybe you’ll let me show you part of my world.”
What would it be like to travel with Luna and the baby by my side. “You won’t be lonely anymore” The little voice in my head says.
I’ll admit, sometimes it is hard being alone a lot. Sure, I have plenty of female companionship, but it’s always one night and then I walk away. My friends are people in the industry and to be honest, sometimes I don’t know if they really like me, or what they think they can get from me.
The connections I’ve built over the years is vast and I’ve had people use me for them, a time or two. That is why I keep my close friends circle small.
“That could be fun. I’d love for our daughter to experience everything this world has to offer, but I don’t want us to be a burden or to get in your way.” Luna turns back to the water.
I move so I’m in front of her. “You could never be a burden. I know we don’t know each other yet, but I would never think that. What a better way for us to get to know each other, then to spend time together.” Grabbing her hands in mine, I rub the backs with my thumbs. “I’m sorry about last night.”
Luna opens her mouth to speak, but I shake my head. “Please let me finish. I wasn’t expecting to have the type of reaction that I did, and it freaked me out. I’m not making excuses, but I just wanted you to know the why.”
“I-I accept your apology.”
The smile she gives me, makes my stomach do this weird dip. I don’t understand it, but I like it. Without thinking about it, I lean forward, and kiss Luna softly on the lips.
Her lips are sweet from the ice cream she ate earlier, and I wrap my hand around the back of her neck, holding her to me. Luna’s lips are pliant under mine and open to me as I brush my tongue against the seam of her lips.
All too soon our kiss ends. “Fuck, I like kissing you.” I tell her.
She laughs softly. “I like kissing you too.”
I move to sit next to her, wrapping my arm around her shoulders, and hug her into my side. I’m not sure what our future holds, but I know I want to be involved.
Epilogue
Luna
