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“Medicine only goes so far, Deacon. And you shouldn’t put the weight of that mystery on your shoulders.”
I wasn’t a spiritual man. Never had been. I believed there was a solution to every problem—just had to find it. “I think there’s a cure for cancer, a way to rid all kinds of cancer from the body, but we haven’t found that solution yet. It’s probably not as simple as a single drug or treatment. Cancer behaves differently in every patient, making it complicated, but if we can understand each scenario, we can have many solutions…to many kinds of scenarios.”
“I didn’t mean to put you down—”
“I understand, Cleo.”
“I just don’t think you need to put all the responsibility on yourself.”
I was one of the few people in the world with the skills to do it, and if I’d worked harder and faster, I might have been able to save my father. “Only a couple people are capable of doing it, and I’m among them. I need to keep doing my best, and if I don’t find the solution in my lifetime, someone else will pick up my work, and all that data will be invaluable.” I took myself seriously, not because of arrogance, but because I felt responsible to put my brilliant mind to good use—for humanity.
She looked at me with affection in her eyes, like she respected me and my cause. “Do the best you can with the time you have. But don’t put the weight of the world on your shoulders. You’re the best man I know. Being a parent is the hardest job in the world because it doesn’t come with an instruction manual. You’re a great father, so don’t ever think less of yourself.”
She praised me in ways other people didn’t. She wasn’t a fanatic like other people could be sometimes, enamored of my successes and my wealth. She was impressed by me, the things I said, the way I felt about my life. It reminded me of the way I felt toward Derek, intense pride over his insignificant accomplishments…because I loved him. And she was the same way with me.
She let the conversation fade away. “What happened with Valerie?”
She was a bitch, like always. “She’s still seeing Jake. I told her I didn’t like him.”
“Well, I don’t think it’s fair to tell her not to see him when he didn’t do anything to her.”
“But he’s a piece of shit. I don’t want the mother of my child wasting her time on a piece of shit.”
She nodded slightly.
“I told her you were working here again, and she wasn’t happy about it.”
“No surprise there…”
“I just get sick of her shit. If I interact with her for more than a few minutes, I always get pissed off.”
“That’s the sign of a toxic person.”
Her toxicity was a fucking biohazard.
“Do you think she’ll be a problem for us?”
I didn’t care if she was. “I don’t care. Nothing will change.”
“You don’t think she’ll keep Derek from you unless you stop seeing me or something?”
That would be really petty, but I wouldn’t put it past her. Though, it was unlikely. “It’s too convenient to drop off Derek on her way out.” It was like having a free nanny. I could get to him at any time. If she wanted to take off for the weekend, she could just leave him on my doorstep.
“That’s true.”
“I’m not worried about it.”
“So…you told her we were together?”
“Not exactly. But it’s implied.”
“How was it implied?”
“Because I told her I got your job back.” I wouldn’t have done that unless I loved her.
She shook her head. “I don’t think that’s as implied as you think. But she’ll figure it out eventually.”
I finished my dinner, forgetting about Valerie the second her name was dropped. It was nice having her upstairs because Derek was so close, but that meant she was close too. Every time she pissed me off, I tried to focus on the positive instead of the negatives…like having my son in my life again.
“How’s he doing in school?”
“Good. He’s just a bit bored.”
“He’s too smart for an advanced school—no surprise there.”
I’d tried to place him in a higher grade right off the bat, but the principal told me kindergarten was too important to skip, that it was a vital year for their development. It was the baseline where they studied all the students to determine their needs going forward. “After the school year is over, they’ll put him in the grade that’s more appropriate.”
“That’s great. I wonder how far he’ll jump.”
“At least to third.”
She smiled. “That’s so amazing. You hear about kids skipping a grade…but not several at a time.”
I’d skipped several, several times. Teachers didn’t know what to do with me because I was such an unusual case. I wasn’t smart by published standards. I was unusually gifted. There was no protocol for that. I was moved around a lot as a result. Getting Derek into an advanced private school from the start would make his education much easier.
