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His eyes are swelling with a suffocating emotion. He looks like he wants to pull away and pull me closer all at the same time.
“I know what I’m feeling isn’t something as tame as friendship. And I know we both feel it. I can see it in your eyes when I touch you. I can feel it in my stomach when you look at me.”
He inhales a sharp, unsteady breath, still unable to speak.
“You can try and convince me that you don’t feel that way about me. But you’re lying. And if you’re unable for some reason to tell me the truth, then fine, I get it. But don’t lie to me again. If you can’t tell me the truth, then don’t say anything. I can accept that. I can live with that. But I can’t live with you saying those words to me again.” Hope and desperation flood my veins. The pain in my jaw, my busted lip, my eye gnaws at my skull, begging for me to sleep.
Kane curls his fingers around my wrists and holds them tightly.
“When I was rotting in that cage… I replayed your words in my head over and over again. I felt the heartbreak over and over again. It hurt me more than living through broken bones and abuse. But I also relived our kiss. I held on to it and it was the only light I saw when they blinded me.” My chest clenches and my throat fights to swallow down a heavy lump. “That kiss meant everything to me. And you stole that when you crippled me with your rejection.” My hands are shaking. I can’t believe my own boldness as I confess my feelings so bluntly. And by the look of his stunned expression, he can’t believe it either.
Kane’s breath hitches before he lifts me off the ground, pulling me onto his lap. His strong arms circle my waist, and his head burrows into my neck. Instinctively, I fasten his neck and shoulders securely against me, feeling his heavy breath against my skin, and his nuclear passion unfolding from his body into mine. My heart floats around us in a mist of stars and solar flares. His hands travel sensually under my shirt, his fingers running softly along my spine, summoning goose bumps and small shivers within his embrace.
I want him to confess his feelings to me. I want him to tell me that he is falling in love with me. I want some kind of verbal affirmation.
He reaches up to my face and lowers my head to his lips, placing a soft kiss on my forehead, and then meeting my ear with his mouth.
“You’re everything to me. I’ll never lose sight of you again,” he whispers into my ear. I lean the side of my head against his, impairing my ability to keep myself upright. I’m bulldozed with paralyzing relief.
I know that’s all he can say and I won’t ask for more.
After we spend long stretched-out moments holding each other, like we’re about to be ripped away by a violent tide, kicking and screaming, reaching out endlessly to be held again, he offers me dinner and then does as promised. Kane lies back, holding me against his chest, his fingers tangled in my hair. He whispers to me how grateful he is to have me in his life. The magnetic energy flows through my veins every time he places a kiss on my head. And after a while, DaiSzek shows up, planting himself on my other side to comfort me further and keep me warm.
Tonight, this was enough. This was so much more than enough.
44. Chosen Brothers
“I’d like to vote Chekiss off the island!” Niles announces while we all pack up to keep moving.
Kane glances over to me, raising his eyebrows with a do-I-really-have-to-entertain-this look. I shake my head. Chekiss just rolls his eyes and continues packing. I hear Ruth try and scold him for his obnoxious remark.
“He snores, Ruth.” Adding extra emphasis to her name as if she should know how silly she is for not noticing.
I turn around so Kane can put my winter coat on, applying a scarf and fluffy beanie.
“Your winter gear should be in your packs. It’s going to get a lot colder where we’re headed,” Kane announces to the group.
I notice Niles staring at DaiSzek who seems to be guarding our area, sitting at his post to look out for intruders. Niles takes a few excited steps toward him.
“I wouldn’t,” Kane calls out while shuffling through his bag, his back facing Niles.
Niles doesn’t realize he’s the target of Kane’s warning and keeps shuffling closer to DaiSzek.
“He’s talking to you, Niles,” I warn him with a higher tone of caution.
Niles stops and glares over at Kane. “Will he bite me?”
“Most likely.”
“Well how likely are we talking here?”
Kane turns around and crosses his arms over his chest. “If you directly approach him, he’ll assume you’re a threat and attack.”
“Whoa! You said bite, not attack!” Niles takes slow steps backward.
“I thought bite sounded less scary.” Kane smirks, fully amused and Niles is holding his hands up like he’s about to be shot down.
Niles scoffs. “Well, how scared do you think I would have been if I were expecting a little harmless nip and instead was greeted with my face being torn off?”
