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“It’s too dangerous,” I cut them off. “You need to stay here and train with Warrose.”
“But I can help! I speak old Alkadonian. I can translate!”
Translate? The Vexamen Breed was speaking another language. And Ruth was shouting down its translation to Dessin.
I look up at Dessin, who is watching me intently. He slides one hand over my lower back, leaving me with weak knees and a warm gooeyness in my chest. He’s giving me the freedom to say yes or no to their request. To decide if having a translator would be that much of a help or not.
“How do you know old Alkadonian?”
“Yes, how do you know a language that was outlawed here?” Warrose crosses his arms.
“My grandfather taught my father. It was a family tradition to learn it. They were paranoid that one day we’d have to return to Alkadon.”
We nod collectively. Well, she is the only one that knows it fluently. And it would come in handy to know what’s going on throughout the ship.
“Fine. But you stay by Warrose’s side. No deviating. No going off on your own. You do exactly as we say.” I cringe inwardly at how much I sound like a mother.
“Deal—”
“Oh, hell no. Little Ruthie gets to go? If you’re taking on charity cases, then I’m definitely going.” Niles enters the room like a tornado, bumping into tables and chairs and knocking a stack of papers to the floor.
“No,” Dessin answers this time.
“I can break into anything. You think they’re not going to have those kids locked up?”
“I can also break into anything.”
“Right. Of course, you can. But you’re far more useful as the muscle, yes? There are probably hundreds of men on that ship. Quietly put down anyone that gets in our way, and I’ll take care of any lock.”
Niles and Dessin stare each other down.
“I vote yes!” Ruth punches a fist in the air.
“This is not a democracy.” But I can tell by the slight lift of his brow that he’s seriously considering it.
“He makes a good point,” I say.
Dessin nods. We did promise to stick together. Make decisions together. But that doesn’t stop the web of nerves tying knots in my stomach. The thought of Niles getting hurt again makes me want to vomit. Or what about Ruth? She’s never had to suffer physical torture before. She was never a patient in the asylum or a subject in a cruel experiment. She’s never really been touched by evil in this family.
“You can go.” Dessin sighs in annoyance. “Now, are we done making my life hell, or does Chekiss want to fight the bad guys too?”
“I’ll only slow you down.” Chekiss stands in the doorway. His expression is sad and defeated. It breaks my heart. “I’ll stay here in the library. Read up on anything that can help you find their weaknesses in war.”
I smile at him appreciatively. I know this can’t be easy. It’s like seeing his children go off to battle, not knowing if they’ll make it home.
After cleaning ourselves up and eating a hot meal, we arm ourselves for what’s to come. I had my archer’s dress cleaned so I can wear it again. I know it was something Runa gave me, and even though I’ve had moments where she wasn’t my favorite person in the world, she represents freedom to me. Her wild spirit. Her beliefs about equality. I wear these clothes with pride. I even have Ruth braid my hair the same way—half of my hair pulled to the top of my head, entwined with multiple skinny braids. Before we leave, I look at myself in the mirror. I’ve lost a lot of weight, my cheeks have sunken in, and my eyes have collected storm clouds.
But I’ve never felt stronger in my life. I have Dessin back. I’ve learned the secrets of our past. And for the first time in my life, I’m ready to fight back.
Dessin moves behind me in the mirror, sliding both arms around my waist and pressing me into the hard lines of his body. I lean my head back on his shoulder and sigh.
“You look ready to lay waste to a small country, Skylittle.”
My eyes peel open to get a better look at his softened features. “Kane,” I coo, smiling at the nickname that fills my heart with sweet memories of playing in the rain and climbing trees.
“I missed you, honey,” he says, husky and deep.
“I missed you too.” My heart throbs a little. I don’t know how it’s possible that I can love and enjoy their company on different levels. I don’t know how I’m not torn between any of them. And yet, Kane is my oldest friend, mybestfriend, and it’s his company that makes my heart gush with fond memories and the kind of love that is old and kind and pure.
